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OK, post 5000. Neil Armstrong dies. Deepest sympathies and My Apollo-gies go to his family. Buzz Aldrin released a statment which read "Well, I'm glad that bastard went first this time." I could make a joke about Neil Armstrong dying, but that's just one small step too far.

Doesn't matter what the foreigners call themselves - they are still Victorians.

There are currently 43 people born in the Victorian era living today, Queen Victoria dying on 22/01/1901. 41 Women & 2 Men. Let's count them down here over the next predicted 11 years, assuming the youngest currently aged at 111 years old becomes the oldest verified living person ever at 122 years old. Regards PP

My retarded son died after eating all of my E's. I'm pretty upset, the whole fridge magnet set is ruined now.

Wayne Rooney's injury could see him out of action for four weeks. Then again, it's the the first time he's been confined to bed with a very nasty gash!

I think if Chuck Norris died it would be bigger news. But then, Chuck Norris will not succumb to death - Death will succumb to Chuck Norris.

Green Calls For Creation of Sevcoland UN Considers New Nation-State For Persecuted Rangers Fans CHARLES Green last night championed a revolutionary plan to partition Scotland in two, establishing an independent nation where Rangers fans can live in harmony, free from the hurt and discrimination they have suffered in the last six months. Proposals submitted to the UN centre around the birth of a new nation-state called Sevcoland, covering south-western Glasgow, extending down into East Renfrewshire and much of East Ayrshire. “This will be the official homeland for all followers of Rangers,” proclaimed an enthusiastic Charles Green. “No more shall we suffer from others’ bigotry and discrimination. We’ve applied for a 600 square mile area of land to call our own.” “Catholics aren’t allowed.” The Chief Executive of The Rangers went on to outline the reasons for the separation, citing a long list of discriminatory activity, including: The vote to put Rangers newco into Division 3, even though that’s where his own fans wanted to be placed. Supporters of other clubs laughing when Rangers got liquidated. Neil Simpson’s leg-breaking tackle on Ian Durrant in 1988. “Fans of other clubs need to understand that We Are The People,” said Rangers supporters spokesman John Longshanks. “When people laugh at us, it makes us feel silly, and we’re not used to that, so it’s perfectly reasonable we should lash out at everyone, threaten boycotts, and go crying to the United Nations.” The controversial blueprint, which is expected to be heavily opposed from non-Sevco supporters, was handed in to the United Nations Secretary-General by Sandy Jardine on Friday. Critics have expressed concerns over the new nation’s plans to evict anyone that doesn’t own a Union Jack, outlaw smiling, and appoint Lee McCulloch First Minister. “I’ve lived in Stewarton since 1936,” protested East Ayrshire resident Margaret Innes, 83. “But last week I got a leaflet through the door informing me if I didn’t buy a season ticket for Ibrox, I would be forced to surrender my house to a family from Northern Ireland.” “They’re going to move me to Cowdenbeath. I’m absolutely terrified.”