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We were watching countdown when my girlfriend broke the news to me that she had cancer. I had buccaneer.

Further down we get "Sheik with family" (so is that a middle-eastern royal or another example of a hate-cleric stretching his generous benefits to the point of mocking the hard working people of the UK). Hawking - how the f*** does he make it as a normal passenger given the level of care he needs? He'd fail a medical for anyone else's space programme. Lauda's health isn't the best either, I've lost track of the state of his kidneys (briefly flame-grilled in 1976 and suspect ever since). Fairly sure at least one of his current kidneys didn't start life in his body.

If a leper gives you the finger, do you have to give it back?

The Defective Parrot. A guy is browsing in a pet shop, and sees a parrot sitting on a little perch. It doesn't have any feet or legs. The guy says aloud, 'Jeesh, I wonder what happened to this parrot.?' The parrot says, 'I was born this way, I'm a defective parrot.' 'Holy crap,' the guy replies. 'You actually understood and answered me. !' 'I got every word,' says the parrot. 'I happen to be a highly intelligent, and a thoroughly educated bird' 'Oh yeah?' the guy asks. 'Then answer this, how do you hang onto your perch, without any feet.?' 'Well,' the parrot says, 'this is very embarrassing, but since you asked, I wrap my willy around this wooden bar, like a little hook. You can't see it, because of my feathers.' 'Wow,' says the guy. 'You really can understand, and can speak English, can't you.?' 'Actually, I speak both Spanish and English, and I can converse with reasonable competence on almost any topic, politics, religion, sports, physics, philosophy. I'm especially good at ornithology. You really ought to buy me, I'd be a great companion.' The guy looks at the £200.00 price tag. 'Sorry, but I just can't afford that.' 'Pssssssst,' says the parrot, 'I'm defective, so the truth is, nobody wants me, cause I don't have any feet. You can probably get me for £20, just make the guy an offer.!' The guy offers £20, and walks out with the parrot. Weeks go by. The parrot is sensational. He has a great sense of humor, he's interesting, he's a great pal, he understands everything, he sympathizes, and he's insightful. The guy is delighted. One day the guy comes home from work, and the parrot goes, 'Psssssssssssst,' and motions him over with one wing. 'I don't know if I should tell you this or not, but it's about your wife, and the mail man.' 'What are you talking about,?' asks the guy. 'When he delivered a package today, your wife greeted him at the door, in a sheer black nightie.' 'WHAT???' the guy asks incredulously. 'THEN what happened?' 'Well, he came into the house, and lifted up her nightie, and began petting her all over,' reported the parrot. 'NO!' he exclaims, 'and she let him.?' 'Yes. Then he continued taking off the nightie, got down on his knees, and began to kiss her all over.' Then the frantic guy demands, 'THEN WHAT HAPPENED.?' DUNNO?!? I got an erection, and fell off my perch!!!

Richard Branson himself shall perish in such a spacecraft accident, mark my words! One year to go until he and his children take off. "It was stunning. Putting the rocket and the spaceship together and seeing it perform safely, it was a critical day. I think that the big, difficult milestones are all behind us." Famous last words? If the date is set and guaranteed for next year he is going on my list for 2014 . By trips to space how high up do they mean ? I have done enough alpha and beta testing of software to know I wouldn't like to be beta-testing a rocket ship. SpaceshipTwo will apparently reach a maximum height of 110 km. I didn't know this until just now but the project has already killed three people. only sub orbital ? For that price i would at least want orbital flights not that i can afford it either way . If it got as safe as commercial airline flights and cost maybe 10 grand i might consider it . But even if i had all the money in the world at this moment in time I certainly wouldn't risk it . A couple of kinks need to be ironed out that can only come with flying many of these and improving the design and sadly a couple of these will crash too. Exactly my sentiments. Oh well, let the rich and foolish be our guinea pigs.

Richard Branson himself shall perish in such a spacecraft accident, mark my words! One year to go until he and his children take off. "It was stunning. Putting the rocket and the spaceship together and seeing it perform safely, it was a critical day. I think that the big, difficult milestones are all behind us." Famous last words? If the date is set and guaranteed for next year he is going on my list for 2014 . By trips to space how high up do they mean ? I have done enough alpha and beta testing of software to know I wouldn't like to be beta-testing a rocket ship. SpaceshipTwo will apparently reach a maximum height of 110 km. I didn't know this until just now but the project has already killed three people. only sub orbital ? For that price i would at least want orbital flights not that i can afford it either way . If it got as safe as commercial airline flights and cost maybe 10 grand i might consider it . But even if i had all the money in the world at this moment in time I certainly wouldn't risk it . A couple of kinks need to be ironed out that can only come with flying many of these and improving the design and sadly a couple of these will crash too.

Not necessarily, she might have an open coffin

Now that would be remarkable