Leaderboard

Fun fact: Fidel Castro appeared in two of her movies as an extra when he was a college student.

What do you expect from these World rankings. England were 3rd not so long ago!

4th best in the world ??? MY ARSE It's strange how we get a win when we don't field any divison 3 players

I've never understood why in America they hand out the death penalty, and then let people languish on death row for years if not decades I suppose it's meant to reflect the human condition: condemned to death at birth, we all serve life. regards, Hein Otherway roon..... Condemned to life at birth, we all serve death.

Just like the old days A couple married thirty years were revisiting the same places they went to on their honeymoon. Driving through the secluded countryside, they passed a ranch with a tall deer fence running along the road. The woman said, "Sweetheart, let's do the same thing we did here thirty years ago." The guy stopped the car. His wife backed against the fence, and they made love like never before. Back in the car, the guy says, "Darling, you sure never moved like that thirty years ago, or any time since that I can remember!" The woman says, "thirty years ago that fence wasn't electrified!"

I've never understood why in America they hand out the death penalty, and then let people languish on death row for years if not decades I suppose it's meant to reflect the human condition: condemned to death at birth, we all serve life. regards, Hein

Neighbours that are so desperate for attention that they have to have extremely loud sex with their windows open at 1am. I nearly called the RSPCA, it sounded like they were inhumanely culling badgers. Which is funny as her old minge has been hammered so many times by so many people that it probably looks like badger roadkill.

An elderly couple was celebrating their sixtieth anniversary. The couple had married as childhood sweethearts and had moved back to their old neighbourhood after they retired. Holding hands, they walked back to their old school. It was not locked, so they entered, and found the old desk they'd shared, where Andy had carved "I love you, Sally." On their way back home, a bag of money fell out of an armoured car, practically landing at their feet. Sally quickly picked it up and, not sure what to do with it, they took it home. There, she counted the money - fifty thousand pounds! Andy said, "We've got to give it back." Sally said, "Finders keepers." She put the money back in the bag and hid it in their attic. The next day, two police officers were canvassing the neighbourhood looking for the money, and knocked on their door. "Pardon me, did either of you find a bag that fell out of an armoured car yesterday?" Sally said, "No". Andy said, "She's lying. She hid it up in the attic. Sally said, "Don't believe him, he's getting senile" The agents turned to Andy and began to question him. One said: "Tell us the story from the beginning." Andy said, "Well, when Sally and I were walking home from school yesterday ...." The first police officer turned to his partner and said, "We're outta here!"

How's that? Vicious attack with a marker pen!

This is a story about the bond formed between a little girl and a group of building workers. It's allegedly true and might help to confirm your belief in the goodness of people and that there is hope for the human race.................... A young family moved into a house next door to an empty plot. One day, a gang of building workers turned up to start building on the plot. The young family's 5-year-old daughter naturally took an interest in all the activity going on next door and started talking with the workers. She hung around and eventually the builders, all with hearts of gold, more or less adopted the little girl as a sort of project mascot. They chatted with her, let her sit with them while they had tea and lunch breaks, and gave her little jobs to do here and there to make her feel important. They even gave the child her very own hard hat and gloves, which thrilled her immensely. At the end of the first week, the smiling builders presented her with a pay envelope - containing two pounds in 10p coins. The little girl took her 'pay' home to her mother who suggested that they take the money to the bank the next day to open a savings account. At the bank, the female cashier was tickled pink listening to the little girl telling her about her 'work' on the building site and the fact she had a 'pay packet'. 'You must have worked very hard to earn all this', said the cashier. The little girl proudly replied, 'Yes, I worked every day with Steve and Wayne and Mike. We're building a big house.' 'My goodness gracious,' said the cashier, 'And will you be working on the house again next week?' The child thought for a moment. Then she said seriously: 'I think so. Provided those wankers at Jewsons deliver the f*cking bricks.'

The problem with "partner" is it's a word that's been hijacked (like "gay" was). It's only in recent times that it's come to mean "the person whom one is shagging having a sexual relationship with". It used to mean someone you did stuff with, but its meaning was far more wide-ranging, it could be a person you were in business with or the person you danced with (memories of primary school teacher clapping hands and saying briskly "Now find a partner!"). It was a neutral sort of word, devoid of emotion. The trouble is there's nothing else to use instead, whereas everyone seems to have abandoned perfectly usable words like husband, wife, girlfriend, spouse (now that's a useful one) other half, 'er indoors etc etc and all have been replaced by "partner".

We can't ban guest posters. They cause some of your best material. I guess an engraved locket is OK. My ex husband has my name tattooed on his chest and I think that is the most amusing thing that has ever happened in my life. It's a nice, quality tat too - according to his current paramour (or rhymes with that) it hasn't faded at all. Apparently it's so awful that she has to see it all the time and can't get away from the fact that I was part of his life....well, that and the inconvenient 26 year old son. Moral to this story, children - I don't care how much you think you love someone. NEVER get their name permanently placed on your anatomy.

We were watching countdown when my girlfriend broke the news to me that she had cancer. I had buccaneer.