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Not as catchy as Take On Me

I had a weird dream the other night where we all found out DDT had died. It turned out he was a 70 year old farmer called Francis and had drowned in a recent flash flood in Devon trying to save his combine harvester. Anyhow he's still posting, but on the off chance he's a 70 year old farmer one day in a flash flood, just let the combine harvester go and save yourself... (I don't know why an animal farmer would have a combine harvester but I'm not in charge of the dreams...)

This thread has reminded me of a really weird one I had a couple of weeks ago. I dreamt I had an alt account on here called ‘Chairman Lmao’ that was made a moderator. Lots of people (Toast was the most vocal about this) suspected this Chairman Lmao was in fact TQR so I had a huge, elongated blow up on here with TQR. Then it just turned into me properly trolling TQR (the fact that this was me was somehow lost in the narrative), setting its rank thing to my real name, the avatar to a drunk picture of me and my location to my actual address. I genuinely woke up with my heart beating several times it’s normal rate.

This here is (/claims to be) 103 year-old Olivia out for a ride on her trike!

Welcome to Barnard Castle

Stanley Ho dead at 98. Soong-jong, Singh and now Ho. I hope you’ve got an alibi drol?

And yet, most absurdly, Gove and Johnson are sticking with it! Gove this morning said to LBC’s Nick Ferrari (prick) that he, too, has gone for a test drive to check his eyesight. As if repeating this really odd idea would somehow make it more plausible. And Johnson yesterday, in his briefing, said it’s “very very plausible” because since being ill he now has to wear specs for the first time, despite telling the Maily Dail 6 years ago that he’s “blind as a bat”. I’m laughing as I type this, it’s so fucking daft.

https://www.gov.uk/driving-eyesight-rules From which: "You must be able to read (with glasses or contact lenses, if necessary) a car number plate made after 1 September 2001 from 20 metres." So Dom, find a car number plate (oh look there's one on your car) and a tape measure (or pace it out). Save a 30 mile trip, for which "You could be prosecuted if you drive without meeting the standards of vision for driving." So "Let me see if I'm safe to drive 260 miles by driving 30 as a test with possibly defective vision" is actually illegal. And if you're not safe, a 30 mile version of Deathrace 2000 as a test does not cut it even if there was no fucking corona virus you utter cunt. Fuck me, much as I hate little richardjohn: you couldn't make it up.

Glyn Pardoe, a Manchester City legend and coach, has died. He was 73. https://www.standard.co.uk/sport/football/glyn-pardoe-dead-manchester-city-legend-a4450366.html

There's absolutely nothing wrong with posting 'Happy Birthday' messages in a relevant thread (be it a named thread or a general thread such as this), however there seems no justifiable reason to post huge copy/pastes from instagram. It's either laziness or done with the intention of pissing people off. If you want to post a picture, fair enough, but post one of a reasonable size (huge pictures found on't interwebs can be reduced in size pretty easily)

Death Notice for former Tory MP for Bournemouth West, John Eden, aged 94: http://announcements.telegraph.co.uk/deaths/242040/eden Another 90+ aged former MP not picked this year for the DDP. I'd guess he's a List of The Missed possibly. Edit: Yep picked as long ago as 2008, who knows if earlier: http://www.derbydeadpool.co.uk/deadpool2008/celebs_E.html#edenjo

I quite enjoy the Shardlake novels by CJ Sansom, Henry VIII period. I've read four so far, but I need a long break in between them because they are far too long, padded out to the point where the story could be told in half the page count. Good stories though, and the period detail is fascinating.

2 alligators dead within a week ! Waiting for Sumner to join them now…

AHA says 1/5 men have a second heart attack within 5 years after the first one.

So putting aside that this conversation doesn't belong in this thread either, does anyone actually read the thread titles before they get to the post anyway? I start at the first new post and then just keep scrolling through to the next unread topic. There are a few threads I don't care for, but it's more of a hassle to try to avoid them, so i just quickly move on. It would make no difference if it were a happy birthday thread or a happy birthday post in a dedicated thread. I wouldn't mind a feature like " block thread" like we have for "block user", but I don't see a big deal either way.

tbh I think a general Birthday thread would be of use too. Part of my reasoning being that a lot of the instagram birthday posts don't really load well on my phone, and some of us don't have other options to read the forum off of. The other part being I'm a moody bugger.

Speaking of Prime Ministers parents am I right in thinking that Boris Johnsons mother is in poor health?

Welcome back, for now.

Certainly my favourite Bernard Cribbins song.

Twenty-third round: 1)Josip Manolic (1920), Prime Minister of Croatia 2)Kim Yong-ju (1920), vacancy Head of State of North Korea 3)Mustafa ben Halim (1921), Prime Minister of Lybia 4)Francisco Morales Bermudez (1921), President of Perù 5)Luis Echeverria (1922), President of Mexico 6)Milos Jakes (1922), General Secretary of the Communist Party of Czechoslovakia 7)Jules Sedney (1922), Prime Minister of Suriname 8)Branislav Soskic (1922) President of Communist Montenegro 9) Lee Teng-hui (1923), President of Taiwan 10)Francesc Badia Batalla (1923), Episcopal Veguer of Andorra 11)Khamtai Siphandon (1924) Prime Minister and President of Laos 12)Tomiichi Murayama (1924) Prime Minister of Japan 13)Abderrahmane Youssoufi (1924) Prime Minister of Morocco 14)Kenneth Kaunda (1924) President of Zambia 15)Jimmy Carter (1924), President of United States of America 16)Lubomir Strougal (1924), Prime Minister of Czechoslovakia 17)Guillermo Rodriguez Lara (1924), President of Ecuador 18)Abdelsalam Majali (1925), Prime Minister of Jordan 19)Ali Hassan Mwinyi (1925), President of Tanzania 20)Giorgio Napolitano (1925), President of Italy 21)Mahathir Mohamad (1925), Prime Minister of Malaysia 22)Mohammad Hasan Sharq (1925), Chairman of Council of Ministers of Afghanistan 23)Ali Bozer (1925), Prime Minister of Turkey 24)Yang Hyong-sop (1925), Chairman of the Presidium of North Korea 25)Arnaldo Forlani (1925), Prime Minister of Italy 26)Tran Thiem Khiem (1925), Prime Minister of South Vietnam 27)Valery Giscard d'Estaing (1926), President of France 28)Ema Derossi-Bjelajac (1926), President of Socialist Croatia 29)Elizabeth II (1926), Queen of the United Kingdom 30)Abdoulaye Wade (1926), President of Senegal New entry is Mr. Abdoulaye Wade, ethernal tyrant of Senegal and a rather despicable person. Anyaway, he seems to be doing pretty well these days and his father lived to 105, so does not seem a good pick. Choose your picks.

So he broke curfew AND killed his uncle. This story just gets better and better.

Looks like the grim reaper is pretty busy in Florida !

https://www.samaritans.org

To put this in perspective, someone born on the day that this topic was created can now possess a driver's license and work a job part-time. Shouldn't have too long to wait indeed.