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Dr Hackenslash

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Posts posted by Dr Hackenslash

  1. I was just telling one of the official members of the committee yesterday what a drag Piper was and especially to select him so high. Better off putting Vince McMahon on the list, he definitely took steroids. And steroids make bones break, and they create organs to shrink, and they cause heart attacks and strokes. Not to mention what else they can do to a guys body.


    Or their wife's body.


    Or their son's body.


    Given the Benoit stuff, anything could happen within the industry so don't count Rowdy Roddy P out of it yet! :dead:

  2. A poem for George:


    There was an old swinger called Melly,

    Who wore a big hat on the telly,

    A wide lapelled suit,

    With a striped shirt to boot,

    And an eye-patch as big as his belly.




    For Melly's rhythm and spark we should thank,

    Right from his youth to his end as a crank,

    He was unconventional, there is no doubt,

    With trousers down, fist clenched and a trout,

    But was it a fisherman's tale or just a cheap wank.


    Okay, Godot wins.

  3. Hmm


    Allingham failing and Patch still seeing clearly without glasses aged 109, and dictating a book. Reminds me that these men are a finite resource and also their health and vitality is impressive. So, s'cuse me talking shop and that but....


    We must establish a WW1 special collection centeganarian sperm bank before it's too late. Bottled, frozen and used for the good of all humanity, or mebbe sold for vast quantities of cash.


    Question is, would Allingham survive his first squirt?


    You've just done something that Allingham never did...gone over the top :huh:

  4. do the divas use steroids?

    (i mean the real ones like chyna not the recent stripper girls theyv hired to pull eachothers hair.)

    if so have any female wrestlers died in the past

    jus interestin to see how its all men named as the yound deaths.


    i miss the days the girls could actually fight too.


    Given that I'm a working journalist and am always worried about being identified, I better be careful here...


    But those who have seen Chyna's sex-tape with X-Pac will notice the acne on her backside.


    And Miss Elizabeth died young, while she was in a relationship with Lex Luger.

  5. So - roll on the drums - will he make July?


    Fancy a sweepstake - how many more current or former profesional wrestlers will Melly outlive :)


    If he drags on too long, I'm dressing up as trout and getting in his bed...

  6. Dear Doctor,

    Romeo and Juliet not dying on stage?!?

    Yes I can see where you are coming from. You are, quite right in what you say.

    Do you feel that, after this latest horror, the whole of the Wrestling fraternity will be put under "official" pressure to address the obvious problems?

    BHB made reference to a similar scenario happening to a Premiership Footballer.

    TBH I think that just the one death/murder(s) until similar circustances would cause such a furore in the British Press/Media that the powers that be would be forced to act, even if what they decided to do was seen to be inadequate.

    Thanks Doc, you have enlightened me!




    Well, to answer both this and BHB's question, it's hard to compare to Premiership football.


    In football, it would only take one case, as you suggest, I'm sure. But in the shadowy world of professional wrestling, the regulations are lapse due to what I'd said about it being in a non-clearly defined area between sports, acting and stunts.


    In the Premiership, the clubs are the employers of the players while the league take control of drugs testing, etc, whereas in the WWE (and that pretty much is wrestling now) they are the employer and the controller of the whole thing.


    They have to test and, while I wouldn't dare say it happens (for the sake of my bank balance for one, if they had a top-performer doing six shows a week and attracting far more fans than anyone else who was caught with something in their system, would they suspend them?


    If Chelsea had a player who was scoring three a game and the tests found that player with something in them, the club wouldn't want to see their player suspended, but because the club don't conduct the tests they have no say in it (inciidentally, I seem to recall Chelsea actually getting into quite serious trouble for conducting their own, in-house tests a whle back).


    And really this isn't about steroids, in my opinion, because if every wrestler who was "on the gas" snapped like Benoit did, then there would be almost no wrestlers.


    Not that I care about the media going on about the steroid issue because it needs to be looked at properly and if misguided witch-hunts and finger pointing is what it takes, then so be it. If that saves one life at some point, then it's all for the best.


    It's not just steroids, it's the whole lifestyle. The recreational drugs, the women, the drinking, the ridiculous amount of time on the road, the jet-lag, etc, etc..


    And, at the end of the day, just look a page or so back at how many young wrestlers have died. It's the same (roughly, I think) as a few Premiership footballers dying per season. Something would be done if that happened.


    The WWE are in for a rough ride, steroids or not, because of their trial. Vince McMahon himself was put on trial and accused of all sorts by the Federal Government in the 1990s (92/93-ish) but was eventually acquited.


    It's interested to look at around that time. WWF, as it was then, went from the Hulk Hogan-sized wrestlers to the Bret Hart and Shawn Michael's sized, smaller wrestlers. But that swung around again.


    Other investigations will also stem from this, they'll find pharmacists numbers at Benoit's place and then names of wrestlers and it could spiral out of control.


    This isn't about steroids, but if it takes all this media malarky to get the wrestling scene looked at throughly, rather than ignored because it isn't "respectable" and treated like a backstreet carnival act, then good.


    Though it is also important to remember that, ignoring the job Benoit did, what happened was shocking.

  7. Despite the fact that the average wrestler is supremely fit, agile, powerful and regulary gets hurt, seriously at times, the fact is its fake.


    I'd agree with most of that, but to use the old saying, I wouldn't use the word "fake"...


    Pre-determined, sure; scripted, sure. As are films and television shows. Actors, playing characters, working to script.


    Are they "fake"? Are the Royal Shakespeare company fake because the actors who play Romeo and Juliet don't actually die on stage?


    It's no coincidence that the one remaning wrestling federation with any real global force is the WWE, formerly WWF, that in the 1980s stopped trying to convince viewers that people were going to get hurt every night.


    It carried on in the US South for years - heck, I even read a joke that if "Cowboy" Bill Watts had have been if the recent Vince McMahon carbombing angle. he would have actually died to protect kayfabe!


    But no, it's what Vince McMahon himself coined in the 1980s - Sports Entertainment. Heck, WWE is even called Sports Entertainment.


    It's not really different from having "Football Entertainment" for example, where all matches would be won 20-19 with the winner coming from 100 yards in the last second. Sure, it wouldn't be a real sport, but everyone would know that - it would only be fake if nobody knew the outcome was predetermined.


    And would anyone fancy putting on a show all around the world, being on the road 300 days a year? No. So is it surprising that many take a "helping hand" to help them deal with the schedule. All it takes is one slip and someone is paralysed - and it does happen.


    So are they athletes? No. Are they actors? No. Are they stuntmen? No.


    So what are they? Well, professional wrestlers. It's impossible to shoehorn them into any other category. And if they are being classified as professional wrestlers, people who put on shows set to scripts for the purpose of entertaining, how can they be faking anyone?




    Oh, and Brinsworth House - good to see you! I'll get back to your question later!

  8. I've been reading a lot on this, perhaps far too much(!), and some things are starting to fall together.


    It turns out his seven-year-old son Daniel had a condition known as Fragile X, which can cause mental retardation and also explains his diminutive stature. Perhaps the reason it seems Benoit was injecting his kid with growth hormone.


    Anyway, Benoit's wife had neck problems and apparently was having trouble looking after the kid on her own while he was on the road 300-odd days a year wrestling. She apparently asked him to cut down slightly so he could help.


    They had a volatile relationship - she filed for divorce and a restraining order a few years ago but subsequently withdrew both. Apparently, she recently discussed it again and wanted to take the kid with her.


    At this point, it is thought Benoit decided to kill her. He could have just "snapped" as such, as he tied her hands and legs together. Though he may have snapped at this point because it's thought after he killed her, he smashed her head repeatedly against the floor.


    At this point he seems to have realised what he had done, or at least over the next few hours. At this point he realises he's going down, and doesn't want his son to be raised by anyone else. So he goes into his son's room and applies a choke hold, possibly a variation of his crippler crossface finisher, and kills him.


    Possibly just before or after this point is when he put the Bibles next to the bodies.


    Then, after some deliberation (and perhaps a bottle of wine, he was of French-Canadian descent after all, and an empty bottle was apparently found) he made sure his "guard dogs" were locked away safely and sent texts so that people would find the bodies sooner than later.


    Then he killed himself by tying a pulley to his weights, and dropping 240 pounds around his neck.

  9. Dr. H....that's just friggin' priceless.


    On the drive to work this morning, I heard that needle marks were found on Benoit's son, who was cited as being a little small for his age and was possibly being given growth hormones. They might've come from daddy's stash.


    Turns out that Benoit's son had Fragile X sydrome, and that causes mental retardation. Also was very small for his size.


    Lots of odd things here though...

  10. Just quick update.


    There are starting to be suggestions from the investigators that he killed his seven-year-old son, who may or may not have been slightly mentally-retarded, with his wrestling finishing move...

  11. To be fair, it's not just what they take but what they push their bodies to.


    Something like 300 days a year on the road.


    And it's not just performance enhancers...as one former wrestler roughly said...once you're on all the painkillers that keep you going, you take speed to get up for the match, then downers to sleep, then coke to wake up and it just goes round and round.

  12. Can't remember which article I was reading regarding the Benoit murder/suicide, but anabolic steroids were found at his home but his last steroid test in April was negative. a handful of legally obtained prescriptions were found as well. Toxicology reports are pending.


    What can I say, I'm curious if it really was 'roid rage.


    I still think Superstar Billy Graham (not to be confused with the evangelist) has a better shot at passing than Rowdy Roddy.


    The tests were carried out by the WWE, however... :)

  13. Just noticed...


    I think this is the most viewed thread after Dicky O :)


    Will keep you up on the sordid necrophillia happenings of Benoit, though, as I still don't like the way he was with the corpses for so long...


    Chris'll Fix It, Chris'll Fix It for you, and you and you...

  14. And it gets worse...


    They're talking about this on CNN Headline News right now. Scott Ballard the D.A. on the case said seven-year-old Daniel, Beniot's son, had needle marks and they believe he had been on growth hormones for some time.


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