Anubis the Jackal

(atj walks blindly into mantrap...) But surely it was the sides of the Mona Lisa that were meant to be missing? (and I didn't watch that godawful film either.) (atj picks up cheese from middle of mantrap and furtively sidles off, nibbling)

Excellent. The answer in a nutshell. I'll bear it in mind next time they are broadcast. Not so sure about the Mona Lisa though, but lets not get all Dan Brown here please.

Fascinating stuff, Mr Russell, and as I say, I do not doubt the veracity of the lunar missions, or the footage thereof. However, the difference in quality between the 1969 and 1971 missions is marked, so maybe an expert such as yourself can explain (to someone who is not doubting the moon landings ) why the footage of the Apollo 11 mission was so poor?

Before you all go thinking that I've joined the tinfoil hat brigade, let me make it clear that I'm sure man did walk on the moon in 1969, it's just that the films were appalingly bad. Carry on...

I'd have thought a brawn sandwich more appropriate. That or a nice bit of tongue.

Now, I usually regard the conspiracy theorists that deny the moon landings with the same contempt as flat-earthers or creationists, but having watched Big Pat present The Sky at Night the other day (purely for research purposes, y'unnerstan') I can see their point to an extent. Those shots of Armstrong and Aldrin embarking on what must surely rank as the greatest expedition since the days of Magellan were, quite frankly, sh*t. You'd have thought someone would have packed a better movie camera, Cassavetes was filming his 'hand-held' movies that looked better on a thousandth of the budget that NASA had available.

Princess David by all accounts. Senile old bugger. Although the search for 'Princess David' did throw up (and I use the phrase advisedly) the little known fact that the 'Peoples Princess' apparently desperately wanted to get off with The Hoff. Christ, I've only just had dinner as well.

Ah, You've got to love a slow news day...! Thanks 12trees Prizes....? Obituary

Which has worked! Huzzah!

Bear in mind the fact that the space ship in your example is using technology developed in the 1920's and 1940's. What Hawking (rather optomistically) posits is the idea that mankind can survive long enough, evolve far enough and think hard enough to be able to move to new levels of physical science and thus develop a means of travelling to these other planets within a sensible timeframe. P.S. I like the 'as long as you leave at night!' If Hawking's so f*****g clever why does he go on about humans living on other planets, which is pretty much un-possible. Apparently it would take a space ship 6 months to travel the 35 million miles to Mars. The next closest star besides the Sun is something called Proxima Centauri, which is 4.2 light years away, or 262,500 times further than the Sun. If the Sun is 93 million miles away, then, so long as you left at night, it would take 18 months to get there. To get to the next closer star would take 3,150,000 years. Dumbass.

Isn't that a sticky, pale coloured liquid that's hard to swallow?

Way to go, Big Fella from Wallis. Now come on obit writers (Yes, I'm talking to you...) Write the bugger up! I need the points, because "What do points make...?" It is perfectly in order to note his death - he was suggested on the ideas thread last year. R.I.P It Up And Start Again (Anubis?) will get a unique hit on the DDP if our man gets the right obits. And I'll score on the HDP and Pool Of Death.

Anything for Walthamstow dogs on Saturday? Although if memory serves, you weren't too hot there.

Could I bring on Jimmy Greaves as a sub?

Ex-Welsh rugby international Ray Gravell is on his last leg(s)

Classic, but could have done with a bit more cowbell I think. A classic song.

Poor old Lancaster City, bottom of the Nationwide Conference North may be the first team to end a season with no points

Success has many fathers, failure is a bastard

Portuguese genius, Eusebio is recovering in intensive care after internal surgery.

What is E.T. short for? 'Cos he's got tiny little legs.

One for Devon Death Trip, The first rule of Fight Club...

Dave / Iain is back on fine form I see. Useless predictions, false and misleading posts, go back to your friends at the BBC site, I'm sure they miss you.

You think that you've gone Off-Topic? You have much to learn, Grasshopper.

Shouldn't you now be 'That Registered Bloke?' Welcome anyway Winfield. I beleive I used to wear your trainers.

Welcome back Coatlicue....