Anubis the Jackal

That just means you can spell his name. Which, granted, is more than he could for a long while. Now do be quiet.

Last survivor of 1914 ceasefire The Observer ran a piece on him on Sunday, and it seems appropriate to bring it up now, 90 years on.

Me neither

A quote from the weatherman website Don't let this affect your voting in this, the most crucial of polls since the debate on the abolition of the House of Lords.

Jack Daniels Dead! I Prefer a decent Islay single malt myself....

YOU SWINE! Had me dancing on air for a second there

yes, dementia.

Papa's got a bad ball bag!

snicker snicker.

Is he going to die on the toilet eating a deep-fried cheeseburger in homage to his idol?

Err, possibly because he was trained as a fighter pilot by Nazi Germany and was made an officer in the SS before Germany invaded Holland? Just a thought.

Maybe an accident could be arranged with an oversized wooden mallet and a box of ACME dynamite?

A bit like the signed Jimi Hendrix album that sold at auction for thousands, only for someone to point out that the cover was from a 1975 issue of the record, printed long after Mr H choked on vomit (you can't dust for vomit...)

"Rouge Trading" Isn't that what they do in the make-up department of Selfridges?

Potato Wedge? Mmmm.

WITH THANKS In november 2003, Shrewsbury MP Paul Marsden posted an online love poem which he claimed was about his wife (and not the woman with whom he had recently had an affair). The poem read in part: Her hips swaying and her red lips tight, Then that smile so devastating in its might, Tongue rippling across teeth so white, Breasts rising as I feel the urge to bite. Eyes stalking its prey, she's relishing the fight... Marsden, Paul (1968- ) British politician [sources: Shropshire Star, November 2003] err... Rave on John Donne.

Hmm, are we suggesting some form of tontine agreement, whereby a pool of chaps would bequeath all their money to the last surviving member of the group. I'm up for it.

www.uglyfootballers.com He'll be up front then.

Nope, Herr Schmelling is still standing in the 15th, although hanging onto the ropes I fear. Welcome to Deathlist...you can learn something new every day. (usually new forms of violent abuse)

"3 TO 1 ON, "

BEHOLD THE BEHEMOTH!

Call that a cemetery? Now, that's a cemetery!

A Brief and highly unscientific perusal of the aged Nobel prize winners shows a high percentage of the contenders to have won prizes for medicine or physics and very few for peace. It obviously pays to have mates who are doctors rather than Generals.

If not from the contract killers, then a tendency to talk nonsense about himself, weight loss and sudden heart attack. See ODB

Monks drummer dies Obscure as hell, but a damn fine band.