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Anubis the Jackal

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Everything posted by Anubis the Jackal

  1. Anubis the Jackal

    Bride Of Picture Association

  2. Anubis the Jackal

    Chris Tarrant

    Crass Talent.
  3. Anubis the Jackal

    Josef Fritzl

    Read any good books lately?
  4. Anubis the Jackal


    Iraqi football game goes to sudden death
  5. Anubis the Jackal

    Jane Goodie

    Last year I was on holiday near Assisi ( again plenty of good left-footed tat for sale) Our plane back coincided with the arrival of the 13.20 direct from Lourdes full of the dying and the terminally stupid. Couldn't spit without hitting either a nun or a suffering Marist at Stanstead, although it was dead easy to be first in the baggage reclaim queue.
  6. Anubis the Jackal

    Where Will The Next School Massacre Be?

    As I recall. there were a few unfortunates killed by bullets falling back down to earth a while back during a New Year celebration somewhere lawless where all and sundry have access to guns. Tottenham maybe?
  7. Anubis the Jackal

    Been To Any Good Gigs Lately?

    Now is a gig..... This is an amazing gig, everyone enjoying themselves and all up clapping and dancing.
  8. Anubis the Jackal

    The Ones That Got Away...

    Ironic, considering it was nearly all shot in the UK, with a few Brits as the lead characters and all British extras. My old workmate died 5 times over the course of the series!
  9. Anubis the Jackal

    The Jane Goodie Sweepstake

    January 1st, 2010.
  10. Anubis the Jackal

    Jane Goodie

    Married on Sunday, Took Ill on Monday, Gave birth on Tuesday, Grew worse on Wednesday, Sold the rights to OK on Thursday, Racially abused a nurse on Friday, That was the end of Jade Goody.
  11. Anubis the Jackal

    Room 101

    I had that trouble with a neighbour once. plus and a long walk soon stopped them.
  12. Anubis the Jackal

    Death List Convention

    I'm definitely up for it. Last time a last-minute change of work schedule for Mrs The Jackal put a large implement in the works for me and the Anubettes. I'd offer to arrange this one but when it comes to that sort of thing I'm about as much use as Jade Goody's hair straighteners.
  13. Anubis the Jackal

    Docter Docter!

    Isn't that good old N2O? aka laughing gas? It's probably quite a low dosage, I'd recommend a session with a couple of balloons and a Whipped Cream maker. Top stuff. No, anaesthetic is lovely but Entonox is about as much use as a Junior Disprin. Apparently it's much better if you have a cigarette immediately after having a good few lugs of it but I couldn't test that theory at the time.
  14. Anubis the Jackal

    Room 101

    Exactly. That's why it all seems so odd. Still hope though, watch this space. You would have thought that the BBC would want to tone it down after their recent exploits...
  15. Anubis the Jackal

    Room 101

    The BBC, for turning down Mrs the Jackal's oddball new comedy because it was 'too quiet'. The Beeb best stop re-running Dad's Army and the like, just a load of old blokes talking innit? Either that or remake it with Russell Brand, Allan Carr and the cast of '2 Pint of lager..."
  16. Anubis the Jackal

    African Despots

    Not to forget the marmoset with the mandarin. Although of course technically the Marmoset is a 'New World monkey' and would never have been seen anywhere near the Congo, drinking delicious fruity drink or otherwise. Shoddy research letting the side down there, Libbys.
  17. Anubis the Jackal

    Been To Any Good Gigs Lately?

    Went to see M.Ward last night at the behest of Mrs. The Jackal. Not as good as the first time I saw him, bit too obvious "blokes in beards with guitars" thing going on.
  18. Anubis the Jackal

    Jane Goodie

    Blimey, you have to look really closely Winnie, but yes, you're a man.
  19. Anubis the Jackal

    Edward Upward

    Q. Why did Edward Upward have three 'D's in his name? A. Because if he didn't, then he would have been Eewah Upwah.
  20. Anubis the Jackal

    Room 101

  21. Anubis the Jackal

    Room Lovely, Look You.

    Charlie Brooker. His review of Noel Edmonds latest tellyshit almost managed the impossible tasks of a) Making me watch the tidy-bearded shitsucker and Making me feel sorry for him. Almost managed...
  22. Anubis the Jackal

    Your Least Impressive Celebrity Encounters

    On the subject of fraternal / filial whatnot, my little sister has a long playing record out next week. Available at most remaining record shops or more likely illegally via Limewire or Torrent Bay, mumble,moan,grumble etc.
  23. Anubis the Jackal

    Death Anniversary Thread

    That reminds me, must remember to buy some oranges.
  24. Anubis the Jackal

    The Dead Of 2009

    Let's face it, he was never going to make old bones, but he looked fit as a fiddle when I saw them a year or so back. Did he die of cramp? That's a shock, I must say... Pre-existing heart condition was the cause of death. I don't think any death has hit me this badly since Joey, Johnny and Dee Dee Ramone died. Some reports are saying that Lux was 60 and others are saying that he was 62. Possibly soon we'll find out his actual age.
  25. Anubis the Jackal

    Nazi of SS

    Aribert Heim, an inspired unique pick by myself in the 2007 DDP has in fact been dead since 1992. Hopefully it was a very painful death

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