Anubis the Jackal

I visited the doctors last week. I said 'Doctor, can you take look at my genitals they appear to have turned orange and I'm deeply concerned by it' 'What do you do for a living Sir?' The doctor replied. 'Nothing doctor, I'm unemployed' I said 'So what do you do all day?' The doctor said in a suggestive tone. I replied in a confused manner 'Well, everyday I just get up, sit on the sofa, eat Wotsits and watch porn'

OK. Robin Knox-Johnson and Sir Ranulph Fiennes are the two with the skills to beat the chills. The third is hopefully a unique DDP pick for me when vital bits of him start turning black and dropping off.

Had a chat with a TV type last night (not the dress-wearing kind, more's the shame) Apparently 3 old duffers, 2 of whom have been mentioned at length on these pages, are going on an expedition to the Antarctic. May have a DDP punt on the 3rd of the party, as he's not getting any younger and doesn't have the same experience of such harsh conditions.

Cale the Drone did a nice version though.

The cruel heartless bastards at a ShopRite store in New Jersey have refused to make a birthday cake for poor little Adolf Hitler.

Let's get the Falk out of here...

Aren't you Peter Falk?

No Need, my insect chum, as Portsmouth is already an island as this dead shonky map shows err...clearly.

Peter Falk?

http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/world/americas/7786909.stm shame about the fine, bigger shame about the second name.

Peter Falk is suffering from Alzheimer's disease.

Peter Falk is suffering from Alzheimer's disease.

I remember doing that in err.... October. Got a good 20 feet across the car park at work. No broken bones though.

Parliafunkadelicamentwithadultnappiesandamazingtitfers

I spent a good part of my childhood on that beach! You wouldn't have let her do that a few years ago when the raw sewage outlet was only about 150 yards offshore Best to try it about 2 miles down the coast where 3 story houses get stones thrown into their back gardens during a storm.

Right then. If it's low-grade novelty tat you need, have some Kunt and the Gang

Seems hale and hearty, but the stonemason who restored the Compton Abdale Crocodile Head Spring is called Richard Pods.

Under circumstances that wouldn't be out of place in a Tod Slaughter melodrama, Austrian actor Daniel Hoevels has slit his own throat on stage when the prop knife he was meant to use was 'accidentally?' switched for a real one. Still alive, but still...

I'll see your Kursaal Flyers and raise you the Kursal Massive. Little f****n Kev and Ginger Joe have got the flow motherfucker.

And his near neighbour, Dick Hyman.

For different reasons This ... Ooof! This especially when you can see the steam coming off Elvin Jones, the drummer. and this