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Anubis the Jackal

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Posts posted by Anubis the Jackal

  1. Posted

    Nope, drummer Mick Avory left in '84 and was replaced by the lovely Mr Bob Henrit who I used to work with.

    The Monkees were manufactured and - therefore - short-lived but they DID change their line up, shrinking to a trio (minus Mike) and a duo (minus Mike and Peter), both diminished line ups made albums, though the less said about those albums the better.

     

    Interesting, mind, on the day Ringo and Paul announce an onstage reunion, significant sixties bands with static line ups and a fully breathing membership as of today:

     

    Simon and Garfunkel.............

    ZZ Top (formed 1969, so more a 70s/80s band)

     

    I'm struggling beyond that.

     

    The Kinks....

  6. Posted

    An Open Apology to my 16-year old Niece of no Discernible Talent, Beauty, Intelligence or Good Character.

     

     

    T*******.

     

    I'm sorry.

     

    You were right and I was wrong.

     

    Do you remember that talk your adoptive mother asked your Aunty and I to have with you? You remember, when you were truanting from school, insulting your family, screaming at your friends, getting arrested, shagging around and generally wasting the best opportunity your short life had offered you.

     

    You must remember, we told you that to get anywhere in life, you had to shape up and knuckle down to some work, whether that be at school, through the ample opportunities your adoptive parents had offered for tuition in art, drama or music, by learning a skill that would bring you the admiration and respect of others, or by sheer hard graft like your adopted father?

     

    You told us that you didn't need to bother, because all you had to do to be 'A Celebrity' was 'Go on X-Factor' despite my protestations that the sort of talent needed to win a show such as that was only possible through practice and dedication.

     

    When told that your Aunty had had to study for 5 years for her course at RADA, and then suffer years of rejections before getting parts in TV drama, and that I had to practice scales for hours before I got good enough to release records, you said that you wouldn't need to bother with that, Celebrities just happen, you know.

     

    You were right.

     

    So go on f*****g up your life, go on the game again, turn every slight and insult into a full-blown screaming drama of hate and bile because you were right.

     

    You obviously don't need to work towards any talent or skill any more, Celebrities do just happen.

     

    And thank you, Jade Goody, a true role model for the teenagers of today. Sleep well with the Angles.

  14. Posted

    Last year I was on holiday near Assisi ( again plenty of good left-footed tat for sale)

     

    Our plane back coincided with the arrival of the 13.20 direct from Lourdes full of the dying and the terminally stupid. Couldn't spit without hitting either a nun or a suffering Marist at Stanstead, although it was dead easy to be first in the baggage reclaim queue.

     

    DL Confessional

     

    I too have been to Lourdes. Note for full impact go as close to the 15th August as you can possibly manage. It is at it's busiest (tackiest?). Special train loads of pilgrims from Italy, people on route to Santiago de Compostela and people just wanting to nose around. The things I found the most amusing, aside from the plastic Marys and 5L water jerrys more commonly seen in Halfords containing screen wash or engine oil, were the gianormous church reminiscent of an underground car park, dank, gloomy and made of concrete and the water taps similar to those at Glastonbury. A long pipe (rising off of the mains?) with several push button taps along the pipe where they fill up the aforementioned jerries.

     

    Now, being British I happened to find myself in a queue. Not wanting to appear as if I were pushing in, I decided against wandering to the front to see what said queue was for or what it entailed, I just waited patiently to see the "cave". It was only when I was nearing the front that I realised everyone was touching the cave as they walked around. Too late to pull out (how very catholic) I had to go with the flow. Feeling subconcious I cracked and towards the end of my walk around the cave I put out my hand to touch the wall. The main reason for the reflex? The throng of people who sit and pray (and watch) those walking around the "cave". I felt like an imposter. Which as some might say that in escence Lourdes is full of Charlatans, I technically wasn't out of place, semantically speaking.

     

    Couldn't see go bathe in the Ganges instead with all her friends?

  17. Posted

    Ironic, considering it was nearly all shot in the UK, with a few Brits as the lead characters and all British extras. My old workmate died 5 times over the course of the series!

     

    portraying the Brits as blithering idiots or in minor support roles and sometimes both
    • Like 1

  19. Posted

    Suffering: Jade Goody, who is terminally ill, was christened on Saturday

    Married on Sunday,

    Took Ill on Monday,

    Gave birth on Tuesday,

    Grew worse on Wednesday,

    Sold the rights to OK on Thursday,

    Racially abused a nurse on Friday,

    That was the end of Jade Goody.

  21. Posted

    I'm definitely up for it. Last time a last-minute change of work schedule for Mrs The Jackal put a large implement in the works for me and the Anubettes. I'd offer to arrange this one but when it comes to that sort of thing I'm about as much use as Jade Goody's hair straighteners.

  22. Posted

    Isn't that good old N2O? aka laughing gas?

     

    It's probably quite a low dosage, I'd recommend a session with a couple of balloons and a Whipped Cream maker. Top stuff.

     

    That anaesthetic stuff. Is it, in any way, similar to the gas that women are given when in labour?

    When Lady FN was last in labour with our youngest ( now 17, and yes I do feel fooking old) I tried some of that gas...and tried it.....and tried it. Nothing

    I still couldnt fly and if I had been clouted in the knackers by a sledgehammer, I would still have felt the full force. :(

     

    No, anaesthetic is lovely but Entonox is about as much use as a Junior Disprin. Apparently it's much better if you have a cigarette immediately after having a good few lugs of it but I couldn't test that theory at the time.

     

  23. Posted

    Exactly. That's why it all seems so odd. Still hope though, watch this space.

     

    The BBC, for turning down Mrs the Jackal's oddball new comedy because it was 'too quiet'.

     

    You would have thought that the BBC would want to tone it down after their recent exploits...

     

  24. Posted

    The BBC, for turning down Mrs the Jackal's oddball new comedy because it was 'too quiet'. The Beeb best stop re-running Dad's Army and the like, just a load of old blokes talking innit? Either that or remake it with Russell Brand, Allan Carr and the cast of '2 Pint of lager..."

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