TQR

Yeah marvellous. If only there were a Statistics thread for this kind of thing.

Erm, is he doing a Benjamin Button job?

Is that seriously what @time looks like?

I’ve just tried imagining you at work and I’ve realised I can’t.

Anyone have a gun I can borrow?

Another gem from Matt ‘cock.

In other news, Prince Andrew has been nominated for the Nobel Prize for Not Being A Nonce.

Nominated for the 2021 Nobel Peace Prize. No no, you read that correctly. Nobel. Fucking. Peace. Prize.

The deaths won’t count if they have any other underlying health issues or have had cancer or heart disease for more than 28 days.

This made my morning slightly better.

New official advice from the UK govt:

A reminder that, though Theresa May was an absolute darling compared to Johnson, she can still be a bit shit.

Yeah, I dunno about you but I find it extremely surprising that the government’s plan to keep cases down by sending every cunt back to work and bribing them to eat at restaurants as much as possible appears not to have worked. But it’s okay, because Matt ‘cock can just go on Jeremy Vine or BBC Breakfast and blame students for the virus’ resurgence.

So it’s more young people being affected this time round, and Matt ‘cock is all over the papers lecturing young people about not “killing their gran” when in reality he’s overseen the deaths of thousands of fucking grans in care homes by discharging untested patients into them.

Seeing exactly this right now with my trusty 6-year-old MacBook Pro. The battery has started dying at 40% charge too I’ll soon be getting a new one but I’m looking at over 3 grand for the spec I need Doesn't half feel nice though having a shiny new toy.

The wonderful Emily Maitlis is 50 today

Jochen Rindt, Formula 1's only every posthumous driver's world champion, drove his final flying lap 50 years ago today, aged 28.

Taki Inoue, who calls himself the 'worst driver in F1 history', is 57 today. Here he is getting run over by the medical car. And Johnny Vegas, who I'm assuming Lardy definitely would, is 50 today

Them Crooked Vultures. Queens Of The Stone Age's Josh Homme on vocals, Led Zeppelin's John Paul Jones on Bass and one of the greatest musicians of all time Dave Grohl on drums. Quite a supergroup. Was reminded of how brilliant this was recently, as Grohl has been embroiled in a drum battle with his challenger, a 10-year-old drummer Nandi Bushell, who'd been posting some pretty amazing drum covers of some Foo's songs. Here's his response to her: Not only one of the most talented guys in rock and roll, one of the nicest too.

True. Oh well that's that fucked then, I think that extra year will prove a step too far.

And in about 79.5 years, she’ll have lived in 3 different centuries, the first to do so since Emma Morano.

I think the one at the front is actually one of Boris’.

Jacob Rees-Morgue and his ghost children say “get back to school” and that they are safe places to be despite there being rumblings of Spanish Flu doing the rounds.

Glad to have you here!

LotO Sir Keir Starmer is 58 today