TQR

Wed: 817 In real terms, not daily reported number terms, the death toll has been pretty consistent for about 2 weeks now.

There's no denying that this is despicable and indefensible. But at least you have your moments before you go off the deep end, if that makes sense.

I'd be just as inclined to ban someone for being a boring twat. Being entertaining, though, doesn't have to involve wishing death on everyone like some sort of institution escapee.

Tuesday: 722

Performing in the Together At Home thing. I'm not sure if it was his intention to make us piss ourselves laughing.

Just out of interest, were you a prick back when you were at school as well?

His posts are a fuck side more entertaining than yours, now sit down.

I thought it’d be low, but that’s weirdly low... Monday: 699

This thread coming back has made me all emotional.

Thanks GUN, it's a horrendous bore but it could demonstrably be a fuck side worse! I hope you're feeling better, by the way?

Crikey, on the nose! Kudos @BuffaloPhil Sunday: 753 (weekend slowdown innit)

Saturday: 891

An irritating cough since about midday yesterday? Check. Feeling all hot and shivery? Check. In need of my asthma inhaler? Check. Remarkable lethargy and aches? Check. Noticeably reduced sense of smell? Check. Temperature this morning? Checked. 38.1C. Fuckity buggers. I'm slightly puzzled and peeved given how I've been doing distancing but there we have it. I blame Tesco.

How hard is it to fucking look? Jesus H Fuck.

So it looks to be back up in the late 8's again. Because the dates from which these figures are taken are so scrambled, it's now completely unpredictable! Friday: 872

We're a strangely twisted nation, aren't we; we elect governments who fail to ensure healthcare is properly funded for years, and then pay a near-centenarian £13m to hobble endlessly up and down his garden to go towards it. Maybe taxation would feel less onerous if it was rewarded with cruel entertainments.

If you like.

Last word.

No need for the word ‘so’.

Nope. I'll leave it with you.

Yup.

Hmm...no, not quite.

That's odd; you appear to be the one who does this most.

This snippet from the Grauniad's live feed kind of explains just how bollocks the figures are, really. Anyway...Thursday: 819

Should be Biden but could be Trump because lots of thick people.