TQR

Monday 770

You're a character from South Park, you fud.

Only if your elbows are 2 metres or longer.

This going around on Twitter: Mine is (in the UK) Dizzee Rascal & Calvin Harris - Dance Wiv Me. How socially irresponsible. Everyone else?

Sunday UK Toll: 895

Well thank FUCK for that.

Proper 4 in the morning, tipsy on red wine, lit cigar music this.

Saturday UK Toll: 909

Friday UK Toll: 838

Tri-twuntdom for the legendary @Cat O'Falk!

It’s a new dawn, it’s a new day, it’s a new life for me, and I’m feeling *cough* England: 702 Wales: 41 Scotland: 29 N. Ireland: 12

Fuck sake @the_engineer

Just what we need, another Corona thread

The National Lottery has changed their prize structure as a direct result of Covid-19:

England: 659 Scotland: 25 Wales: 33 N. Ireland: 7

Hussein has reportedly died. Hit for Jiro, Chorizo (fuck), Deadsox, DI, Arsenic and An Fear Beag. Another source, fuck knows if either are any good.

Sorry for your series of losses Etush

He's doing a shit job at rigging them; I paid for a much easier draw than this!

R3 Ultra-fucking-accurate Predictions 1) Clorox Bleachman V Deadsox: Deadsox has John Prine (WHOoOooOooOO???) as a joker, which might help, but Clorox is my prediction because I haven't got a shitting clue who most of his names are so they must be unfortunate misses for me. 2) Sir Creep V msc: Both had a stormer last round. Gut says the Creep will make it to the Quarters despite losing the first round. 3) Book V JiroemonKimura: He has the right joker and he has Prine (WHOoOooOooOO???) and Domingo, both of whom I'm kicking myself for not picking. Jiro gets it. 4) Captain Chorizo V The Quim Reaper: I'm "not competitive". And there's more chance of me shitting in the Queen's handbag than making the Quarters again. Cho has an easy one. 5) Grim Up North V Grobler: Interesting picks for Grobler, but I'd put a couple of quid on GUN nicking the win. 6) DeathByArsenic V Torva Messor: Torva has more picks that I recognise and feel like are fucked very soon. I could, and probably will, be totally wrong. 7) An Fear Beag V YoungWillz: He won it so narrowly last round but YW is very much in with a shout of going further here. As a consolation prize though, I gift An Fear Beag the 'e' back in his name which Joseph Russell keeps missing off. 8) Banana V Death Impends: He's done Spade. But I don't think he'll do two fellow cup favourites back-to-back, will he? I'll go Death Impends. Either way, it'll be close and the scores will be through the fucking roof.

I’m not playing the Covid cup, so my team is almost free of them. Well, there’s 2, but one of them has since fucking recovered. I would throw away some line about definitely not winning, but Roey (off of losing) has already implied I’m not ‘competitive’ in a previous post, so I don’t need to. Best of luck, Captain Cho! You’re not going to need it!

This is terribly tasteless, and only sick bastards would play this. England: 257 Scotland: 14 Wales: 10 Northern Ireland: 9

So do I, I posted that one in the joke thread a few days ago

If I could at least maintain this until my next thousand, I’ll be an oddly and tragically satisfied man.

Genuine question as I don't know much about Charlie Brooker: why?

Being in self-quarantine has meant I've finally managed to get stuck into Black Mirror on Netflix. I've watched 7 of them so far, they're all unique stories and they've all been brilliant; intriguing, haunting and insane in their own way. I can't recommend it enough! Two stand out ones for me so far are episodes called "The National Anthem" and "White Bear".