TQR

Imagine what the scruffy cunt will look like after two weeks of letting himself go.

Let's have a punt on Jules Sedney please EDIT: Cock. Ninja'd by Ulitzer. Let's not. I'll have Tun Tin instead please

And again for the triple. Do it.

It’s also a bad time to be without an avatar. SORT IT.

The Basildon Meat Rubber’s crusade against the faceless is a roaring success so far! Now, John Prine. Well done if you know him. Many of us don’t. Sure some cunt will score with him against me in the DL Cup.

I believe it caters for all? I digress. Better than talking about John Prine (Whooooo?) I suppose. I blame the Lenny/Ainsley confusion on Lenny doing 'Chef!'

You've taken that straight from my Tinder bio

Honestly, you should see some of the names bandied about in some of our Deadpools; fuck mine, some of them are proper grasping at straws. Think most DL members would qualify, leave alone the actually famous. P.S. Get yourself an avatar!

Potentially bad news for the people of Ambridge.

Step 1: Get an avatar Step 2: Don't post crap Step 3: You might be a free man eventually

Uncharacteristic of her to stay at home with her loved ones.

Ralph McTell's been spending his time writing another verse for his song Streets Of London. Still very much has his voice.

Oh no! I wish them well at this extremely difficult time.

Je suis Banshees Scream? But yes, better.

I've reverted back to my spirit animal. Yeah bwaaay. And, this has been mentioned before, but the peeps without an avatar need to fucking well shape up. Just look at this sea of regularly visiting silhouettes: @JR976evil @CoffinLodger @The Old Crem @CastAway @Fergie86 @Life Is Beautiful @ebless @JiroemonKimura @Exu @ImissMontpellier @Steve @Deathrace @BeretBleu @RolandDeschain @Arsewipe @The Watcher @The Red Death @JeffreyTheSuperSnail @mollyafox @Philip @Swagmasta @toldyouiwasill @John Robinson @openviews Guys, please! Give yourself a face. EDIT: Nice one ajlposh, arrowsmith, Perhaps, MrWonderful, deathisallaround, QTips, SusanStoHelit, MarcJWallace, TheKing, Deathtreat23, Doornail, I.R.Baboon and Donald!

Nice, is that a Pontiac Firebird?

Okay, it's been half a year, my tribute to Leah has long since become out of date. Can I have my rank changed to 'Misnomer' please? EDIT: Cheers PB!

It's funny what lockdown's doing to us isn't it, because looking for future optimism is probably what a lot of us need, and yet I still feel compelled to ask you to shut your noise.

Paul from the Chuckle Brothers bumped into me in Asda earlier. I said "Oi, two metre you!"

I might step outside and start clapping.

And would you look, it's the mostly shaven rodent Mickey Gove doing today's Corona address. Joy to the world.

Yes, yes, we've a few days left but my chances look good. I'm absolutely staggered. As such, I've thrown together a R3 team and sent it early doors in the sheer excitement of it all. If Deathers doesn't play a last-minute blinder, I'll put it out there right now that there's still more chance of Oscar Pistorius getting athlete's foot than me beating Cap'n Cho (or HDS, still could be HDS).

Gove, Raab or Johnson. Good choice innit. "Where would you like this knife to go? Through a lung, an eye or a bollock?"

I've just realised, if Big Job needs time off or dies or something, we'll be left with Dominic Raab. Get well soon, Johnson!