TQR

Hmm, unexpected cover version...

FUCK, what's wrong with people? Caroline Lucas, off of Greens, is proposing a national unity government to prevent us being railroaded into a No-Deal Brexit without the public having a final say in it. Sounds good, sounds reasonable, times of crisis need this kind of measured response. Oh yeah, but the cabinet in this government can only be women. She's sent a letter to 10 female MPs from various parties and explained: Because men are all short sighted, narrow minded and throw their toys out when they disagree with others, as we know. She's looked at this dismal situation we're in, and decided it's all man's fault. So what we should do is bring the country together, by splitting it based on gender. That'll sort this country's deep divisions out.

UKIP have a new leader. His name is Richard Braine. Yep. Dick Braine. He fought off close competition in the membership ballot from another prolific member, Ray Cist.

There is not a single bit of that millipede that I like Not quoting it so I don't have to see it again.

Foxes, mostly. They’re dicks. Few squirrels too but the dog keeps launching herself outside to chase them off.

MARCH EU: “We won’t negotiate.” Theresa: “They won’t negotiate.” JULY Boris: “They will negotiate with me as leader!” EU: “To reiterate, we won’t negotiate.” AUGUST Boris: “We DEMAND you negotiate.” EU: “We won’t negotiate.” Gove: “We can’t BELIEVE they won’t negotiate?!”

Come on now, it's not just 'leftists' that try filtering out any other opinion, I think 'rightists' do it just as well too. I do agree, though, that there's a way to disagree though, I mean there's a difference between: "I think people should have guns" "Why'd you think that when the evidence, funnily enough, points to guns resulting in more shootings?" and: "I think people should have guns" "Well you're a fucking cunt then" You're entitled to despair at leftists like me thinking that, maybe, not having the right to bear arms might stop loads of people every year getting shot to buggery, just as much as I or 'Penguin Twat' is entitled to think your views on guns (without wishing to imply anything) are quite unsettling. It's good you're not afraid to say how you feel, just don't be afraid of the majority of people disagreeing with it. Let's not be snowflakes now. (and that's not directed at one person)

Explain, then, why per 100,000 people, America has 3.6 deaths from gun murders, and the UK has 0.04. Explain why America has had 258 mass shootings this year (in 215 days) and then explain why tight gun laws would increase that, whereas, on the other 6 continents of the world, the total number of mass shootings in other highly industrialised countries is 3 (NZ, Netherlands, Brazil). Explain why, of the 15 countries in the world with permissive gun laws, only 4 of them haven't had a mass shooting this year, and explain how the 177 countries which don't can be wrong. I'm asking because I'm genuinely interested to know what I and lots of others are missing here; the US is known to have this sick culture with guns, and they average a mass shooting every 20 hours, and yet still correlation is not causation? I don't get it.

Because as we know, if you take guns out of the equation, it'll result in more shootings.

9 killed and 16 injured outside a bar in Dayton, Ohio. 2nd mass shooting in 'murica in 24hrs.

Fair play! To your friend, of course.

Secretary of State for Exiting the European Union is the job title. Or failing that, Secretary of State for Making the United Kingdom Look Like a Bunch of Turds.

I like Billie Eilish for how unashamedly different she is. And this here is...terrifying, actually, but interesting. It works.

Hau Pei-tsun (5) Samu (4) Matahir Mohammad (4) Holly Clegg (4) Tom Long (3)

Congratuwelldone Spade! An encyclopaedic knowledge of flat-liners like that, no one else had a vague hope. Hearty round of applause to Bou for a frankly astounding debut season in the Cup. No hits record AND worthy finalist? Quite an achievement. And, of course, hats off to the inimitable msc on some top bollock hosting skillz. See you fuckers in the 2020 final!

Fucked by early 2021, I reckon. 96.

I mean if we want to get right to the dregs of humanity, having Mark Francois as Secretary of State for anything would mean I’d probably emigrate.

Nice one, Boris. Great Cabinet.

You couldn’t make it up. You really couldn’t.

This goes totally against the grain of stuff I usually listen to. Normally it's just shite I'll tolerate on a night out on the piss, but I actually like this. It's catchy.

Used in Spider-Man 3, 12 years ago. The song is infinitely better than the film, and the film wasn't bad.

Clegg a hit for myself. And the Unknown Man. And Banana. And Skinny, msc, drol, and Chorizo. SC, Book, Clorox and Roey. And John Key. GUN, Rad, DI, and finally Fixed Business. And Pedro. But that really is it. Apart from DDT.

Tory membership is only 0.3% of the electorate and they're choosing between a twat and a prat. But, of course, though we're not involved in the election, we're shafted one way or another by the result of it. Fair, innit? The Tories expect you to eat their arseholes and then punish and mock you for not knowing what wine goes best with arsehole.