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bladan

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Posts posted by bladan

  2. Posted

    Why was a hospital janitor given the sack?

     

    He was injured in a car crash and needed two amputations. By mistake the surgeons had cut both the wrong leg and the wrong arm off. Realising their mistakes they had, of course, to amputate the bad leg and the bad arm as well. (needs editing)

  3. Posted

    On 18/10/2019 at 00:45, the_engineer said:

    What does numerology say @bladan did she go to the Burnie hot or is she up there now passing the bong with the apostles? 

    She has merged with the Absolute.  Her death date is a numerological mystery, so I wasn't so wrong after all

    • Like 1

  7. Posted

    41 minutes ago, Wee Jum said:

    I reckon you are being very harsh on the KKK.  Horrible lot, but NOBODY deserves to be compared to the racist c**t

    Why do they wear the same subliminal message in their clothes. White, blue and red. The KKK guy wears a cross near his heart and Trump wears a flag in the same place. White is for racial purity (sattva), red is for passion or war (rajas, as in cigarette boxes) and blue is for peace i.e. tamas, business-as-usual? No yellow (disease) and no green (nature) and no black (death), of course.

  11. Posted

    On 13/10/2019 at 15:10, maryportfuncity said:

     

     

    With all due respects to centuries of brewing achievment - that sentiment is utter bollocks (is there a tab of acid dissolved in that beer or did half a dozen whisky chasers precede it?)

    Well, I once crashed my car with a lorry.  I had drunk one pint of beer and was speeding. I think it was the beer. Luckily no one was injured. Best of all, the police fined the lorry driver. I'm joking of course, this never happened

  15. Posted

    One day the Phantom found Tarzan in the jungle. He was scrawny and underweight and the Phantom was very attracted to him. During the course of their conversation, the Phantom asked what he did for gay sex.

    "Gay sex?" Tarzan asked. "What's that?"

    The Phantom explained what gay sex was and he said, "Oh, Tarzan use a hole in the trunk of tree!"

    Horrified, the Phantom said, "Oh, Tarzan you have it all wrong! I'll show you how to do it properly." He took off his gun belt, hotpants and tights, dropped to the ground and spread his legs wide.
    "Here," he said, "You must put it into my shit hole."

    Tarzan removed his loincloth, stepped closer, and poured a kettle of boiling coconut oil all over the Phantom's arse. The Phantom rolled around in agony. Eventually he managed to gasp, "I've got fourth-degree burns... I'm dying... What the hell did you do that sadistic act for?"

    "Me Tarzan, you tree! Must lubricate first!"

  18. Posted

    16 minutes ago, Sir Creep said:


    My very first concert (embarrassing admissions, volume 1).  I was 14 I think, older sister dragged me.  They were actually the opening act.  I refuse to admit who the main act was.

    SC

    Bay City Rollers?

    • Haha 2

  21. Posted

    6 hours ago, maryportfuncity said:

    I went to into a brothel last night and said how much for anal? She said "Sixty quid" I said"that's a bit expensive i think i'll leave it" She said "Tight Arse!" I said "Oh ...go on then"

    Only when you forked out the dough did you realize that you had a screwed a shemale

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