runebomme

these elections have greatly improved my geography of the us

Trump is gaining in Nevada

I think who ever wins in Michigan will win

it's Italy

what about Dolly

What did the elephant say to the naked man? How do you breathe through that tiny thing?

My wife said, “I’m leaving. I’m sick of you wearing a different t-shirt every half an hour.” I said, “Wait. I can change!”

An Irishman walks into a bar and asks for two beers. He then pulls a small green-skinned man out of his pocket and puts him on the counter. As he’s drinking one drink and the green man is drinking the other, an Englishman down the bar who has had a few too many drinks says, “Hey, what’s that little green thing down there?” The green man runs down the bar gives the Englishman a raspberry, “SPLBLBLBLT!,” right in the face and runs back to the Irishman. The Englishman mops himself off and says to the Irishman, “Hey, what is that thing, anyway?” The Irishman replies, “Have some respect. He’s a leprechaun.” “Oh, all right.” the Englishman says sullenly. They all go back to drinking beer. An hour or so later, the Englishman is really plastered. “Boy, that leprechaun sure is an ugly little bastard!” he says. The leprechaun runs down the bar and gives the Englishman a raspberry again, “SPLBLBLBLBT!” This time the Englishman is really mad! “Tell that leprechaun that if he does that again I’ll Chop his willie right off, I will!” he shouts. “You can’t do that,” says the Irishman. “Leprechauns don’t have willies.” “How do they pee, then?” asks the Englishman. “They don’t,” says the Irishman. “They go SPLBLBLBLBT.”

grenades

that is surely not the Thames behind that lovely set of testicles

my list of bonds from best to worst Sean Connery Daniel Craig Timothy Dalton George Lazenby Roger Moore Pierce Brosnan

stared in more of my favorite films than any other actor and was the best bond I thought he had another ten years in him

The Chop got chopped

"Great Balls of Fire" there are things one should not do with Tabasco sauce

that's not good for business

watched Borat 2 and its a shadow of its former self

Chris: How do you know if a Frenchman has been in your backyard? Teddy: Hey, I'm French, all right? Chris: Your garbage cans are empty and your dog's pregnant.

does not lard work for this problem

is it him

that is one ugly pair of testicles

every one who posts here is a same person with a multiple personality disorder who thinks they are a different person each time they post

the dwarfs will turn on you one day