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VileBody

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Everything posted by VileBody

  1. VileBody

    Alan Bennett

    Playwrite and professional Northern pooftah, me dear. Wrote The Madness of George III and a series of TV one-person shows which were very good. Presumably there's a Wiki entry which I can't quite be bothered to find. Maybe you could find it during your "free"... I don't think he sounds very terminal in the short term. The cancer's in remission according to his article in the DT on Saturday so I'd keep him on hold for a few years yet.
  2. VileBody

    The Queen's Affair

    Poppycock Sir, you're just indulging in gossip and tittle-tattle. Furthermore, you have also put me right off my tea. I do hope that's "tea", as in a drink taken in mid-afternoon with sandwiches by the wel-bred and not "tea", as in dinner eaten by the lower orders in the early evening? Poppycock it may be, but I'm very happy with the source...
  3. VileBody

    The Queen's Affair

    Anyway, apparently the Fawsley business was alluded to in notes for Charles Moore's new biography of Maggie Thatcher. She found out from an MI5 briefing before she became PM in 1979 and was so horrified that she wouldn't give him a more senior job than Arts minister after the election. Seems she's so doolali now that she let it slip to Moore and one of his researchers saw the notes. The researcher told a newspaper, but they won't publish without the notes to back it up. Hysterical.... Why am I banging on about this? Because I think it would carry off his lordship (he's 76) and possibly even tip HM over the edge if it comes out.
  4. VileBody

    The Queen's Affair

    That doesn't apply in Charles's case. What normal person would prefer Camilla to Diana? I bet Camilla in her prime was more fun in the sack than that mad anorexic tart.
  5. VileBody

    The Queen's Affair

    He was found in bed with Tony Slattery I thought Fergie caught him with some naval officer
  6. VileBody

    The Queen's Affair

    Oh Christ don't start all that again.... And, Windsor, this may come as a shock, but it has actually been known for members of the Royal Family (including the non-trashy ones) to enjoy a bit of extra-marital rumpy-pumpy over the years. Frankly, given the appalling people they often have to marry, you can hardly blame them.
  7. VileBody

    Plane, Train And Automobile Crashes

    Yes I know but even by DL standards this is daft....
  8. VileBody

    The Queen's Affair

    Really? Don't think it can be Stevas then since I think Andrew was born in the 50's. Maybe it was Peter Sellers doing some 3-way with Margaret? Of course the idea of Phillip grappling with anyone is pretty appalling in itself. BTW have you ever noticed that the Queen has vast boobies. Well, used to anyway. Guess they're a bit saggy now.
  9. VileBody

    Kay Walsh

    This looks like a site for troublemakers and should clearly be shut down. I shall write to Sir Ian Blair at once so he can get on television again.
  10. VileBody

    Plane, Train And Automobile Crashes

    This is a silly thread.
  11. VileBody

    Coretta Scott King

    Very borderline for famousness I'd have said, but I suppose we should defer to our US cousins. As regards Cherie Blair (assuming she doesn't pop her Manolos for another 20-30 years) when she does, I doubt she'll get more than a 1/4 page obit and a "news in brief" by then. I don't think being a mouthy cow and a moderately succesful QC would qualify. Would say, Lady Callaghan have counted? Or Mary Wilson?
  12. VileBody

    Pete Doherty

    My wife goes to the opera to humilate my clients' ghastly wives. No - it's just PC bollocks - and you pay for it with the Arts Council grant and possibly Lottery money if you indulge. Quite brilliant, sir - can't wait to use it - worth reading and writing drivel on this site for over a year for that one!!!
  13. VileBody

    Why Are We Here?

    Well, is believing necessary? I'm not sure it is obvious that it should be. You could remain a skeptic in life and then get a nice (or nasty) surprise in the Great Beyond if it turned out to exist. The only qualification for entry might be that you always kept your elbows off the table, or liked marzipan or had once visited the Natural History Museum. I guess it's just more appealng that you get a better deal if you're generally pleasant and considerate towards people rather than raping and killing them. Except that twunt MacCartney, of course... Nonononono - I didn't mean I want to rape him!!!! no no no nooooooooo....urghhhhhh....
  14. VileBody

    Bird Flu

    Yes - if it is used for cock fighting. And you give it mouth to mouth. And slip the tongue in.
  15. VileBody

    Simon Wiesenthal

    Don't let him have a go at you - tasteless jokes are a great tradition of DL and I loved the gas gag. Actually my Grandad died in Auschwitz. Fell out of his guard tower.
  16. VileBody

    Bird Flu

    It seems that many of the (human) victims are involved in breeding birds for cock fighting. Apparently the owners give mouth to mouth resuscitation to downed birds. So you've got to get pretty friendly with a chicken to catch it... And I don't think erotic asphyxiation of your parrots will be too dangerous so long as you don't stick the tongue in...
  17. VileBody

    Earthquakes, Tsunamis, Hurricanes, Mudslides

    Apparently Bush was recently asked for his view on Roe v. Wade. He said he didn't care how people get out of New Orleans.
  18. VileBody

    Why Are We Here?

    Well you'd feel damn silly if it was necessary even if not sufficient!
  19. VileBody

    Why Are We Here?

    Get a bit of f*****g peace and quiet would be a good start... But don't you agree, it's bonkers not to believe in life after death - what have you go to lose? It's not as though you're going to be around to be disappointed if you're wrong.
  20. VileBody

    Pete Doherty

    And one more thing now you've got my gander up, isn't a dyslexic on an internet forum a bit like a blind guy watching TV? I'll tell you a better one than that - at Covent Garden they do one performance of each opera with someone "signing" the words at the side of the stage for the deaf... Now OK, deaf people going to the opera may sound insane but it gets worse. Let's just suppose there are deaf people who might, in theory, want to just watch an opera live for £60-180 a ticket. The words are all on a bloody screen above the stage. So the only possible beneficiary from the bird gurning and waving her arms about at the edge of the stage is a deaf illiterate. Unbelievable.
  21. VileBody

    Why Are We Here?

    Yeah well I had a hangover and you can't spend all day doing hostile take-overs and sacking people. I think you have to modify your idea of entertainment a bit a regards an eternal herafter. There's a great essay in the History of the World in 10 1/2 Chapters if you're interested. The guy spends aeons meeting everyone interesting in history, learning everything, having sex with gorgeous women and practising golf until he can do every course in 18 shots. When he's done everything and is bored he's allowed to just drift off into a dreamless sleep.
  22. VileBody

    Earthquakes, Tsunamis, Hurricanes, Mudslides

    So Florida or Texas is about to be laid waste by a psychadelic pair of breasts?
  23. VileBody

    Interesting Ways To Die...

    Should have handcuffed himself to an Iraqi policeman. Much quicker.
  24. VileBody

    Pete Doherty

    Spelling improves when you shout less!
  25. VileBody

    Pete Doherty

    Anyway, if poppet is genuinely dyslexic, that's probably not her fault so we should welcome her to the site. Ranting disagreement is fine, poppet, but ease off the personal abuse and have a look at some of the other posts. You might enjoy them.
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