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VileBody

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Posts posted by VileBody


  1. Nice one Vilebody....but did you know as a matter of sheer interest that the old Ford Consul used in the opening video was last seen in a garden in London with bushes & trees growing out of it just a few years ago ;)

    Is that right - can I buy it????

     

    BTW you remember the shoe smashing down the pedal in blue and white in the opening credits of the later series? - the guvnor had a pair of them and they were knocked out by a geezer in Hammersmith to all the CID.

     

    I know, cos i was polishing them...


  2. Begging the question how could your old man tell himself apart from criminals? They spent all night drinking and talking to 'faces' as well.

    I think you have the essence of it - there was a lot of overlap, but the old man didn't stuff security van drivers with a crowbar or threaten 18year old cashiers with a shooter - armed robbery is such a job for "brave men", of course ...might have shagged the boyos' girlfriends tho...

     

    Can't work any more now everyone's accountable...


  3. :) raider+Dec 12 2005, 12:51 AM-->

    QUOTE(Tom(;) raider @ Dec 12 2005, 12:51 AM)
    Twelve down, two more to go to beat the all time record!

     

    Would that be too much to ask for the next three weeks?

     

    Has any stats-freak monitored how many nominees tend to die in december?

    December is a great month - usually around xmas


  4. My old man was in the job at the time the Sweeney was made - not Squad but West End Clubs Squad out of West End Central from '69 to '73 - job consisted of turning up at 6pm, writing up the night before then sitting in dodgy venues talking to "faces" til 6am.

     

    Tough hours, tough days, tough men...

     

    However, my point was that the guvnor's driver once took the late great J. Thaw home from a police dinner [piss-up] and Thaw was deeply in character telling the guy that he was a S**t driver, disgrace to the job etc, so the bloke pulled him out of the back, told him he was Manc pouf actor, smacked him and left him to get the bus.

     

    Great hours, great days, great guys....


  5. I hate her for dying and spoiling this joke:

     

    Q: What goes in and out and stinks of piss?

     

    A: The Queen Mother doing the Hokey Cokey.

    You should complain, sweetie - what about my dead pope and the Irishman joke...


  6. Why all the fuss about I.D. cards? We already have them, look at your driving licence, you need I.D. to get a bank account, a library ticket and all sorts of things. I don't see the problem with bringing in the cards!

    I do wish that were true - the reality I suspect is that you'll still have to bring in your passport, driving licence, poll tax bill, gas bill, pet registration, your mother-in-law's parrot's birth certificate and a sperm sample to be allowed to buy a train ticket. Oh, and you need the ID card.

     

    Which can't be read by the different machine on the Underground...


  7. By crackey, this home hubbie thing makes you race to catch up on the DL issues of the moment. In fact I'm so absorbed with thinkinh must stop drinking and get ready for the school run run I can't think of ought relevant to contribute - but see above about 10 pages ago. (a do run run...)


  8. Myra Hindley and a little boy are walking through the moors at night.

    Little boy says to Myra "I'm scared! I hate the dark!"

    Myra replies "How do you think I feel? I've got to walk back from here alone."

     

    (apologise in advance if any one takes offence)

    That's a full Ayatollah joke - what can i say


  9. Very kind! Missed you all like that cathartic waking up with sensuous hangover when you can still have a lie in - or as Bored of the Rings puts it: "Like a dog returning to a much loved spew"

     

    Nought better in the world!

     

    Great to be back!!


  10. 6 if you count the meaningless double "!" . I'm also a bit worried about the ambiguous participle or gerund use of "discussing" - are we supposed to be disgusted with "our selves (sic)" who happen to be discussing etc., or are we to be disgusted with the discussing which belongs to us?

     

    Alternatively, he (or she) may have meant "your selves' discussing" and missed out the apostrophe - that's actually quite a profound thought, ie that we should be disgusted by the actions of our inner souls or "selves" in discussing dead people.

     

    Whatever.

     

    Phuq off.


  11. What a brilliant discovery - now we just need a famous vet...

     

    Hang on - Robert Hardy must be getting on an bit (though he's just written a book about longbows). And that drip Christopher Timothy hasn't been on the telly for a while either...

     

    Any ideas??


  12. Anyway - what is a scoobie? My little reptiles haven't found them yet I don't think.

     

    Am still getting over treading on bits of those sodding fighting spinning top things they were mad about a couple of years ago.

     

    Re spotting odd people in the streets, I always found barefoot hippy girls in the early seventies very erotic in my prepubescent imagination....


  13. Does anyone know if Ronnie was deaf or partly so?

    No, not deaf, dead.

     

    Are you deaf? B)

    pardon? partly dead?

    By the way has anyone noticed that Ronnie Barker died on Monday? You'd think someone would have posted something...

     

    Ah, I love it when one of these guys goes - we get so many wonderful new friends.

     

    I thought Barker was an outstanding comic actor and writer, and Porridge is probably the greatest comedy drama (hardly a sitcom) ever screened. I also liked the silent seaside postcard films which you rarely see screened

     

    I was always baffled by the 2R's, however. There were some obviously great sketches like the "four candles" but otherwise the whole thing seems ratehr hollow and disjointed in retrospect. They clearly had no chemistry as a performance team unlike, say Morecombe and Wise, or Mel Smith and Gryff Rees Jones. Indeed I always got the impression that Barker thought RC was a telentless little gnome and bore every minute he was on screen with him with teeth-grinding annoyance.

     

    I thought Open All Hours was just embarrassing and tasteless. Mean Northern git crushes life out of underdeveloped dependent child and sexually harrasses local nurse. Oh and he's got a stutter and a dangerous cash register. F**k me, what a laugh... The rest of the TV stuff is just terrible.

     

    Anyway that was all a bit churlish - he was clearly hugely talented and it's sad to see him gone. It's just a shame that more of his energies hadn't been directed into more comic acting and writing - what might his Falstaff have been like?


  14. Not meaning to be a smart-arse (not too much anyway), but would you prefer a politican with genuinely held but profoundly wrong or offensive opinions, or one whose views you support but who is prepared to be dishonest to achieve them?

     

    And before we get too dewy-eyed about "old school politicians", (a.) I think you'll find that politicians have been telling porkies for quite a long time before Benn turned up; (b.) Benn was a member of one of the most bent governments of the 20th centruy under Wilson; and (c.) it's a damn sight easier to stick to your principles once you're a busted flush in politics - as Benn was after Kinnochio's election as Labour leader (cf Heath, Howe, Lamont, Cook etc).

     

    If Benn had ever held real power he'd have been about as trustworthy as Alasdair Campbell on a dark night with the keys to the tuck shop.


  15. Don't take it personally, but could you all please pretend you don't work in IT.....

    OK, I was lying. I actually work in a shoe shop. "No we haven't got them in brown in a size 8 but we've got them in black in a 7"

     

    This does remind me of an appalling joke which mods can (and probably should) delete if it's too OTT

     

    A chap wins the lottery and decides to fulfill a life-long ambition to have a pair of bespoke shoes made. So he goes along to a top shoe-maker in Jermyn Street and is shown all sorts of patterns and designs and differrent leathers etc. Finally the assistant brings out a pair in a sort pinky-white leather and asks the guy to try them on.

     

    He's amazed. They're the best fitting, most comfortable pair of shoes he's ever worn. In fact they fit just like a second skin.

     

    "Well, there's a reason for that, Sir" says the assistant, lowering his voice, "They're actually made from the skin of human babies...".

     

    "My God, that's terrible! Mind you they are incredibly comfortable. What on earth do you charge for them?"

     

    "£450,000, Sir"

     

    "Bloody Hell - I wasn't planning to pay that much...but even so"

     

    "I'll tell you what, Sir, if you really like them, we'll do you a pair in black for £2.50"

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