IKYWN

Its probably better to get your death in now before JG shuffles off. Once she goes, even a bizarre suicide death pact between Patrick Swayze, Farrah Fawcett and Ariel Sharon won't shake her off the front pages. (And pages 7-28 with special Jade Memorial pullout and cuddly Jade-With-Cancer toy offer)

I would have though if it was that serious, they wouldn't have flown her from Canada to New York. Cabin pressurisation would not be a good idea with a brain injury. All this 'brain death' reporting is coming from the US and Canada. I would have thought that the potential for news this bad would have the Sun and Sky News bleating it from the rooftops. All the Sun can say is she is 'though to be close to death'.

Just how many more of these "critically ill" celebrities trying to jump on the Jade Goody bandwagon are we going to have to put up? Lots I hope

I'm sorry, but the series will be renamed the "The Jade Goody Memorial Big Brother Show", and will run for fifteen hours a day for an extended period of eleven months, in a new house built as an exact copy for the UK's beloved angel. The inside decorated with pictures of the beautiful, intelligent, witty Jade, who captured all our hearts.

I hear that guests at her funeral will be given Goody bags when they leave

I very much doubt it. Unless she gets her kids to read it for her? Any publicity is good publicity. No doubt this forum will feature in a shock horror expose in a tabloid at some point.

I was thinking of sometime in May, but now I'd put my money on somewhere around March 8th. It would preferable if it could be a Sunday or a Monday, as that is the longest time to the next batch of Sunday tabloids and we might not have to suffer their awful bleating, as we would if the event occured later in the week. Will the funeral be shown live on TV? Perhaps culminating in the hearse proceeding slowly along the A118 to Essex, while thousands of distraught OK readers shower it with bunches of flowers.

Luckily I had the forethought to put the repulsive cave troll on my 09 list. I keep getting this awful recurring thought its going to have its death screened live on Channel 4 or sell the photo rights to Hello! magazine

The mincing former Culture Club crooner, who now looks more like a hod-carrier, has been sentenced to fifteen months for handcuffing a rentboy. (Thought that sort of behaviour would have been par for the course really). What's the odds on him being buggered to death or beaten to death while he's inside? http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/england/london/7832565.stm

Rumpole man John Mortimer has shuffled off the to the great courtroom in the sky http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/entertainment/7833156.stm

I don't believe it, a significant newsworthy death this year and the dead 'un wasn't on Eejit's Deathrace team. Whatever next? "I am not a number, I am a stiff"

My first hit on the DDP for 2009. Victory will be mine!

Here's my list for 2009. i'm still hoping time cathes up with the surviving WW1 veterans. Colin Welland is a unique pick and I'm hoping Robbie Williams will provide us all with a laugh, as he's my joker 1. Henry Allingham 2. Ronnie Biggs 3. Fidel Castro 4. Kirk Douglas 5. Clive Dunn 6. Jade Goody 7. Mikhail Kalashnikov 8. Karl Malden 9. Patrick Moore 10. Harry Patch 11. Wendy Richard 12. J. D. Salinger 13. Helmut Schmidt 14. Ariel Sharon 15. William Stone 16. Patrick Swayze 17. Colin Welland Unique pick 18. Robbie Williams Joker 19. Anna Wing 20. Sir Norman Wisdom

Must be something in the air today. Still a few hours to go as well

I was wondering if Boy George would favour suicide over prison now he's been found guilty of chaining a rentboy to his bed. As sentencing is not till the middle of January, he might be worth a tout for early next year. http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/england/london/7766624.stm

Weatherman, not newsreader. Bet he didn't predict that one correctly

Could they be releasing a new album now, channelled by a medium?

Balloon and sailing world recordholder Steve Fossett has been missing since Monday http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/world/americas/6978818.stm

Wendy Richard seems to be setting everyone up for her impending demise. Seems like a good call for next year. http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/entertainment/7653179.stm

Here it is http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/entertainment/7617363.stm Popped round to see Sid

Richard Wright, founder member of Pink Floyd has died according to the BBC. No report as yet

Memphis Heart Clinic pulls healthy lifestyle ad featuring Isaac Hayes Major figures always cark when I'm away on holiday. I've another eight days to go as well. Could be slaughter.

My second hit on the DDP this year. I'm going on holiday on Thursday, usually someone famous dies while I'm away. I hope old Alex hasn't jumped the gun here.

Emphysema did for my grandfather, though he was about eighty and had smoked for about seventy of those. He did linger on for quite a while though. We can only hope her hangers-on convince her to smoke more crack. Its a pity Pete Doherty hasn't taken a leaf out of Amy's book recently

Should she add "Knockin' on Heavens's Door" to her setlist I wonder? It might be a bit off singing it at Nelson Mandela's 90th birthday concert though. However I doubt she'll see 90.