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Josco

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Everything posted by Josco

  1. Josco

    The Kings Of Tonga

    King of Tonga This old king was born in 1918. At 87 therefore, a sodomite and considerably overweight, must soon be a goner. Any thoughts?
  2. Well well, altogether now..... Bang Bang Maxwells croquet hammer came down upon his head.
  3. Josco

    Forum Downtime [completed]

    Do like the new layout, and when I have time I'll explore any new functions. I too have started to receive a trillion emails and had to go through 18 pages to reset all the notifications.... Done now, order restored. Welcome Death Impends.
  4. Josco

    Halloween

    Speaking personally, I dislike the current Hallowe'en 'celebrations'. I find the whole idea of children, some quite elderly, banging on doors demanding sweets. And where is the pleasure in decorations that are dour and miserable; cobwebs, corpses and the like? Someone who dislikes Christmas is called a humbug, what is the Hallowe'en equivalent?
  5. Josco

    The EU Referendum Hokey Cokey

    The campaign to re-run the Referendum is well under way. If not actually orchestrated by Brussels then it is surely actively encouraged, as has happened in other EU countries; we have to vote again until we get it right. Incidentally, in a 'normal' election the ballot papers are retained for a period of time in case of recounts etc, is this the case with the referenda papers? As I am sure you are aware, your ballot paper can be traced back to you, a less benign government could well check how you voted. To save you the trouble, I voted out, as I did all those years ago. I am nothing if not consistent. "May you live in interesting times" A Chinese curse, I understand.
  6. Josco

    The EU Referendum Hokey Cokey

    Old people will still die and need burying.As you were. I don't bury them. I lawfully deprive them of their liberty as per Articles 5 and 8 of the Human Rights Act, so it may affect my job. But I'm not too bothered about that. I want to know what each option will actually mean for ME. But I'm too upset about Bert Kwouk to think much about it right nowOption 1. Sit on your backside with the rest of the "I can't work it out" crowd and do nothing. The people who want a say, go to the polls and there is about 70% support for vote leave. The EU secretly won't accept that and tell everyone the result was 53% win for remain. Most people believe the lie and life carries on as per usual. Except the Euro currency slides when Greece defaults and we send them £100 billion to prop-up the Euro to stop Spain, Italy and Portugal going into default as well. Greece is in the dog house for the next 50 years and getting a low priced holiday there is more easy to find. However because we are semi bankrupted too, we can only afford that holiday if you go and do a few dozen car boot sales. By the way you won't have to change currencies because we too will be using the euro by the year 2025 (at the latest). Option 2. Go and vote leave. The turn out will be high and about 75% of the vote will go to Leave. The EU secretly won't accept that and tell everyone the result was 53% win for remain. Most people don't believe the lie, a few riots are started then and life carries on as per usual after two days of unrest. The Euro currency slides when Greece defaults and we send them £100 billion to prop-up the Euro to stop Spain, Italy and Portugal going into default as well. Greece is in the dog house for the next 50 years and getting a low priced holiday there is more easy to find. However because we are semi bankrupted too, we can only afford that holiday if you go and do a few dozen car boot sales. By the way you won't have to change currencies because we too will be using the euro by the year 2025 (at the latest). Option 3. For some strange reason you go to the polling station and think about kittens and soft cuddly toys. The birds are singing and the sun shining. You think what the hell, it's not so bad, I'll vote remain. Too many other people do this too, and the Remain In vote receives 45% support. The EU secretly won't accept that and tell everyone the result was 53% win for remain. Most people believe the lie and life carries on as per usual. Except the Euro currency slides when Greece defaults and we send them £100 billion to prop-up the Euro to stop Spain, Italy and Portugal going into default as well. Greece is in the dog house for the next 50 years and getting a low priced holiday there is more easy to find. However because we are semi bankrupted too, we can only afford that holiday if you go and do a few dozen car boot sales. By the way you won't have to change currencies because we too will be using the euro by the year 2025 (at the latest). Easy P.S. Then when you go to the polling station take a permanent black marker felt tip pen with you. Remember to vote leave, it's the bottom box. Don't use the stubby pencil, "they" have pencil erasers. On the sly, photograph your marked ballot paper with your smart phone, then fold it and place it in the ballot box. Oh, and watch this short (3 minute 20 seconds) film now. Rotten That link has now gone to all my friends, I'm sure they will both enjoy it. I also like your cynical thinking, 53% sounds just right; I believe that when the remain vote wins then the EU will respond to insist that we are IN, fully and unconditionally, Euro and all. I voted out the first time round, I shall do so again, but they'll still ignore me.
  7. Josco

    Ask A Deathlister

    Are they paying you? Thought not. It's not worth it. You'll always be misquoted, or misunderstood.
  8. Josco

    Language Barrier

    Typhoid Harry's second link is now invalid, but the first one, from the BBC, is interesting for two reasons; The BBC's original website coding and also that I haven't had faggots for ages. I thought the original topic, the so called language barrier with our American cousins, had some merit but has withered on the vine. However with the inexorable rise of the 'Trump' I feel it could be interesting to discuss it once more. Or am I just trumping in the wind?
  9. Given up what? Smoking? An absolutely shite thread created by somebody who is much disliked by all that have had the misfortune to be on the end of his cuntishness. What part of 'Fuck off you massive cunt because everybody hates you' do you not actually understand then? Fucking hell, your parents think you are a fucktard and now everybody else on here thinks you are a fucktard. Do the fucking sums you helmet, you are a w***er, you ponce through life generally fucking off everybody you come into contact with and are so utterly thick skinned you keep ploughing head first onwards thinking that people actually really read the crap you post. We skim through it fella, we cant be arsed anymore, not even capital letters and kewl spellinz of words makes a blind bit of difference. You carry on posting and we will carry on hating you, you have the warmth of a dead slug and the wit of a sad young man who still lives at home with his mummy coz the world is all against you. The rest of us will enjoy this forum you will just need it. You do make some of us laugh but, sadly, its for all the wrong reasons. You are one of lifes losers, you can write whatever floats your boat about me but it will never change the fact that I am so much better than you, everybody is better than you actually. You sad twat. Wow, I've been away a while. Seems like it's all kicked off. Might go and hide again.
  10. A few days ago I was listening to a report on Radio 4 about a woman aged 70 who had paid £28,000 (may have been $, but what the hey) to be frozen after death in the expectation of being revived (sic) some time in the future when medicine was more advanced and that her current body could be improved for many more decades of use. Moreover, she had paid a similar amount for her husband too. The radio article included several learned people who pontificated on the wisdom of this and how they might cope with 'returning' to the future maybe a hundred years hence, how all their friends and relatives would be gone and how the world would have changed and so on. The general consensus was that this was not a good choice and that one should be content with ones allotted time span (three score years and ten etc). This made me wonder whether I too, funds permitting, would like to go through with it. Whilst listening I found myself asking why? Why would any future people want to revive a 70 year old early 21st century corpse? What's in it for them? How could one guarantee that the cryogenics company would have your best interests at heart? Who would you sue if they failed to fulfil their part of the bargain. Is it refundable? What state does the body have to be in? I mean I could pay £28,000 now, whilst I am sound in wind and limb, but what if I got mashed up by an omnibus and left as mere tomato sauce on the road? Would they freeze me in bits? So many questions, so few answers......
  11. Josco

    How Old Are DL Users?

    I recall steam coming from somewhere, but not the ears. It's a SFW metaphore metaphor. Not that metaphores metaphors are SFW, but it's a Sunday. There, FTFY.
  12. Josco

    How Old Are DL Users?

    I recall steam coming from somewhere, but not the ears.
  13. Josco

    How Old Are DL Users?

    Songs were made about her... In my youth she was my ideal fantasy, along with several million other spotty oiks. It would have been rather crowded in there. http://imstars.aufeminin.com/stars/fan/brigitte-bardot/brigitte-bardot-photo.jpg
  14. Josco

    How Old Are DL Users?

    Me too! ...and female, working on a divorce, mother to four awesome children. In good lighting I can pass for about 34. I lurked on this site for about a decade, signed up in 2013 and only started posting recently. In good lighting? You must look ravishing in the dark then. And in welders goggles you could pass for Brigitte Bardot. Who?
  15. Got mine on now. £2.00 from Liddle (the middle aisle!) ctrl+ makes it more legible for those who may be struggling.
  16. That's so edgy..... in 1975! Did you ever think anniversaries like this might be the first time some people have heard of the fucker. Given the average outlook/intelligence of the Mirror/Sun reader these days, I'm sure this list of 10 things you didn't know about Churchill could just as easily be Who he was When he lived Why anyone even remembers him etc. Although it all pales in comparison to this piece of demented chav hilarity (which also proves how badly Mirror wants to be a left-wing equivalent of MailOnline.) Don't youngsters get taught arithmetic any more?
  17. Josco

    How Old Are DL Users?

    Put my age as 60, slight exaggeration as I am not officially that age until August but it is weighing on my mind. Oh, the futility of life....
  18. Josco

    Wrestlers/actors

    Ah well, that's my fault for not paying attention and checking my facts first. It was the same at school; Plus ça change, plus c'est la même chose.
  19. Josco

    Wrestlers/actors

    Sorry to read this in today's Telegraph...... http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/obituaries/sport-obituaries/9977430/William-Moody.html
  20. Josco

    Seen Any Good Films Lately?

    Started watching Blazing Saddles earlier (until interrupted by family). Brilliant, I must find the time to finish it.
  21. Josco

    Pets

    And not one pussy joke to be seen I don't think much of yours.
  22. Josco

    Read Any Good Books Lately?

    I had a look through this comment I made...2006?... surely not. I thought the other day about the aforementioned chap that lent me the book and as I recollected he had died about three years ago. It was a shock to realise that it was eight years. Tempus fugit.
  23. Josco

    Forum organisation

    I like it the way it is. “Fashion changes, but style endures.” ― Coco Chanel
  24. Josco

    Pete Doherty

    Sunday Times has an interview with this 33 year old musician (sic) who was much discussed in these esteemed pages as a possible DL entry. Seems to have cleaned up his act, but then again Leopards and spots etc.
  25. Josco

    Room 101

    Little bit of a work place whinge here... I am going to be off sick for 10 days after next Thursday 26th, (a small op on my right hand, thank you for asking) but the company has decided to make me redundant during this time. Mrs Josco v. upset, and I can't help wondering if I'll ever work again.
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