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Everything posted by Monoclinic

  1. Monoclinic


    Knew you lot would give me the heads up without having to trawl google, or back to page 5, to back up my hypothesis. We might be haemorrhaging talent (in the loosest sense of the word) in 2016, yet Simon Cowell's still here to fill the voids. As is Anthea Turner. And some say we live in a fair and just society....
  2. Monoclinic


    It's been a while. Thought you lot might now. Did he have The Aids?
  3. Monoclinic

    Salman Rushdie

    Searched for his own thread and failed. It's probably out there somewhere - along with a better anagram! I'd just like to know who else is fed up with all this hoo-ha about the knighthood? I am in no position to comment on the book or indeed whether he is in the wrong because I have not read the book. I have a sneeky suspicion that some of those currently employed in burning effegies of said author haven't read the book either. I also doubt whether all of them know who he actually is. I am sure they have just cause to feel agrieved, however to feel agreived one should at least know who he is and what he has written. I fear there are those who have just jumped on the latest demonstration bandwagon without knowing why they are demonstrating, which is not at all helpful in these troubled times. I think he'll pull through, after all wouldn't a knight get preferential police protection? Does suicide bomb-proof armour exist for the modern knight?
  4. LG and 'arry as promised... Illness and old age aside, which celebrities/plebrities would you wish death upon? Or at least a rapid retreat from the public eye if you feel that death is a bit harsh. To get us started may I suggest: Anthea Turner
  5. Monoclinic


    Will probably die on its arse but hey, at least I'm trying. Objective, to post your answer and pose another. Would you rather do something immoral or illegal?
  6. Monoclinic

    Famous Last Words

    "I'm glad that's over". Eric Morecambe. Moments after walking off stage, he faced his final curtain.
  7. Monoclinic

    New Here And Just Saying Hello

    Ok had to edit this - it didn't include Toast's quote... It's gone all Facebook.... Death of Pompey, I'd have to say <3
  8. Monoclinic

    New Here And Just Saying Hello

    Anyone die?
  9. As LFN has pointed out, I seem to have an adversion to Portsmouth. This has been exacerbated in recent years owing to their success in the Premiership and of course this May... no I can't bring myself to finish that sentence, there are those of you out there that know what I mean, the rest of you I'd be happy to reminisce with you about Fortress St Mary's circa 2001 and the glorious FA cup run of 2003. Anyway I don't think I am the only one with a certain dislike to Portsmouth and am taking the opportunity to launch a poll just to see if I stand alone. Oh, and I've always been curious how you set up a poll and to see how many people will tick the second question. For those of you who have never heard of Portsmouth (lucky bastards) here is a little look at the former Tricorn Centre and some other facts which I have pinched from a Facebook about annexing Portsmouth to France. (I hope this is enough accreditation)
  10. Monoclinic

    New Here And Just Saying Hello

    Ok, what have I missed (bar tha massive software update)? Anyone die?
  11. Monoclinic

    Fantasy Football

    Calling all world cup football fans (and world cup widows... show them you can give them a run for your money) Anyone care for a (free) gamble on a world cup fantasy football game? Now that we've got some time on our hands before compiling the next deathpool list we can get some vital list making practise in by compiling a list of eleven international footballers. A veritable authority, and rather shadowy figure, tells me that some of the better free games can be found here, here and here with sky seeming to be the most basic, then metro, then ronald mcfantasy the most hands-on. So perhaps, if there is interest, we go with either Sky or Metro?
  12. Monoclinic

    Political Frailty

    I guess he wasn't up for Portilloo.
  13. Monoclinic

    Ask A Deathlister

    You may have forgotten to enable your porn plugin or download adobe flashplayer or summat.
  14. Monoclinic

    Margaret Thatcher

    Do us all a favour and die today you evil old bint, whilst the world has it's attention focused on OBL. We've already had all media outlets crammed full of royal shit over the weekend, so it'd be good to bury your passing in a sea of CNN reports from Pakistan.
  15. Monoclinic

    Osama Bin Laden

    Are we sure he didn't just top himself as he, like Blair, wasn't invited to his family friends' big do last Friday? In fact it is a shame they didn't pull it off on Friday, that would have dispersed the media circus and given a bit more viewing choice.
  16. Monoclinic

    I Destroy the Royal Family

    After realising the only news to be had this morning (in English, French, Dutch, Italian or Turkish) was being transmitted live from Fuckwitingham Palace I decided to head into work only to find the secretary already had live streaming from RTBF on the go, as did someone in my office as they were awaiting Kate. It wasn't even 10 am! I kindly informed them she wasn't turning up until 12 (CET) in the hope people would stop going on about it. FAIL. By the way the verdict from the secretary... Kate's dress "boff", sister "beaucoup plus belle".
  17. Monoclinic

    I Destroy the Royal Family

    Is it safe to come out, has normal service resumed?
  18. Monoclinic

    The "Bodies on the Beach" Serial Killer

    Were there pizza delivery moped tracks and midget sized footprints at the crime scenes? Also were the bodies wearing cloths?
  19. Monoclinic

    The 4th Death Of 2011

    Maggie's not a Dame...she is a Baroness. My vote goes to Mintoff. She's neither, she's a cunting witch.
  20. Monoclinic

    Things To Do While Waiting For Death

    I think the commentary is Italian but the title is in French, which seems to suggest they were expelled from Libya and left to die in the desert. The fact that there could be that many bodies in such a small area makes me wonder if they hadn't been dumped there by one of the Maghreban countries. Either way, whether they had been expelled or were in fact on their way to Italy, it left me completely numb, especially those who appeared to have had their eyes pecked out. However crap you think your life may be it is images and stories like this that make you realise how lucky you are in this world.
  21. Monoclinic

    Gaddafi Guesses

    This is 2011, not 1989... Perhaps do a little google before you play the smartarse card I'd not hesitate to say 1989 passed Turkmenistan by... Well, I had no idea Turkmenistan was in North Africa and whose regime had been propped up by oil and US patronage.... Yes, it's tucked between Yemen, Bahrain and if rumour has it parts of China.
  22. Monoclinic

    Gaddafi Guesses

    This is 2011, not 1989... Perhaps do a little google before you play the smartarse card I'd not hesitate to say 1989 passed Turkmenistan by...
  23. Monoclinic

    Queen Elizabeth II

    Considering the IRA blew up the Duke's uncle, I'm sure that the couple have not forgotten the troubles. Do hardline republicans pose a threat? No. They were only able to kill Mountbatten because he was on a private holiday with very little security. Killing a 79 year old tourist on a boating holiday? Anybody could have done that... The BBC tells me that Queenie has only 3 countries to which she has never made a state visit. Ireland and Israel I get but Greece? Are the in-laws that bad?
  24. Monoclinic

    Gaddafi Guesses

    Couldn't decide which thread was best, Gaddafi or Sheen for this multiguess quiz: Charlie Sheen v Muammar Gaddafi: whose line is it anyway?

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