Cowboy Ronnie

I saw that clip. Arguably the worst first pitch ever, although unlike Mariah Carey, Carl Lewis, the mayor of Cincinnati and assorted others, at least Teddy had a good excuse. The first pitch is the weakest

Lindy Chambelain is 61 and seems to be doing fine Maybe a dingo will eat her. It could run in the family. The Chamberlains might just be plain dingo-delicious.

Brazillian football player Adriano had gone missing for a few days, but it turns out he preferred to spend time in a Rio shanty town rather than return to his club and face the Special One. Slumdog Milan-aire

How about the "dingo ate mah bay-bee" woman?

Is it an actual FIA rule that if they only have 60% of a race to award only half the points, or is this another one of those that Bernie just made up on the spot? Some drivers actually have half points in their totals now. Fantastic. If they'd only managed twenty laps would they have handed out one third of the full points? Two races, two farces, 15 more to go. I can hardly wait to see what they come up with next time out.

Henceforth it is officially impossible to ever take F1 seriously. "And the fine is 100 trillion dollars." A team of circus chimps would run a more professional and organised operation.

I heard their film sucks too.

I hope our new member is the same Paul Bearer who used to manage The Undertaker on WWF WWE.

They had a thing on his car in one of the papers at the weekend. It's basically a tank made to look like a limousine. I doubt very much that Obama is going to be driven around London with the top down, on account of the weather and all. There wasn't an option to vote for 96 months, so I went for 48.

They might as well paint a big target on it and give the local hoodie brigade the cans of spray paint that will inevitably be used to deface it. What odds on her being in Madam Tussauds by the end of the year?

And now, nine days before the first race of the season, they've changed the rules back to how they were. The F1 circus rolls on

Seems a bit simplistic to conclude other people would have won previous F1 titles if the new rules had been in place then. If they had, then presumably everyone's strategy would have been different, maybe there would have been more reckless overtaking attempts by people knowing that they had to win a race, not just finish 2nd, etc. For what it's worth, and I barely watch or care about F1, the rule change seems ludicrous. There was no need to change from the previous system. It's as though baby Bernie kept stomping his foot on the floor like Rumplestiltskin until they implemented his stupid way of doing things, and the FIA or whoever makes the rules felt sorry for him because his wife just divorced him. I hope it ends up that the guy who wins the most races finishes 40+ points behind whoever finishes 2nd overall. And if anyone dies or gets seriously injured attempting a reckless overtaking maneuver because they felt they needed to win a race, then I hope the white dwarf sleeps well at night.

Shilpa S thinks Jade is the new Beyonce She's a survivor

The Evening Standard headline I saw at lunchtime makes it sound like she's about to die. So I guess Perez Hilton is the most trusted news source out there. Famous enough and her demise in this manner would be shocking enough for her to merit a new thread, methinks.

The Austrians should do what Jeffrey Dahmer's jailers did and accidentally leave him alone for a few mins with a psychopathic fellow prisoner with access to a heavy steel pole. Takes care of the problem for everyone, and saves the taxpayer the cost of incarcerating him.

Not sure if this has been posted before, but she's now been upgraded to "princess" status. The Princess Die-aries She's edging closer to emulating Diana. She has two kids, isn't married to their father, has questionable taste in men, has parent issues, and is beloved by readers of Hello Magazine. Needs to work on her hairstyle though.

Jane doesn't want her sons to see her die. Then don't arrange to have the funeral on telly The only foreseeably happy outcome to this story would be for GR's theory to be correct, and the whole thing's a put-on.

They should Cask of Amotillado him Visit My Website

D'ya know what, I haven't a f*****g clue when 'murder' crosses the line to 'massacre,' I suppose someone could carry out an experiment............. Or we could agree anything over 5 deaths. I suppose the proof will be in the newspaper headlines themselves if e.g. only four or five people die in the next school shooting. I'd say double figures is definitely a massacre, four or five may be a bit low. The winner of the contest has to find a credible publication using the word. And the US is the low hanging fruit on this one, given they have about one a month. Hard to believe, what with there being nearly as many guns as humans in the country.

As my first choice, Iraq, isn't on the list, I'll go for Canada. How many do there have to be for it to qualify for massacre status? Four or more?

Would it matter if there was? You were given full details of last years meet months in advance because " You really wanted to come".........and you didnt. You were not the only one who did it. I appreciate that circumstances change and situations occour but I managed to make that date clear, with months in between to rearrange or make alternative dates should other things crop up, do a 200+ mile round trip and still be the first one at the bar to greet the arrivals. I wont even go into the efforts made by LB, NAP, LG, Rotten Ali etc to make an even greater effort to, true to their word, attend. You live considerably closer to that Pub than the rest of us and, most importantly of all, it would have been a common courtesy to have PMd me to confirm that you were unable to make it or say "sorry I couldnt attend" either which would have been appreciated in view of the fact that i was the twat who put it all together. Its pretty obvious that nobody else is overly interested in organising one and, in all honesty, why should I? Well done last year LFN for organising, I intended to go but there was no tube service from my station that day. I recall the weather was pretty miserable, which didn't help matters. I'm imagine lots of people felt a bit strange about attending (I did), and some probably got last second cold feet. From what I've heard, those that did go enjoyed it. Attendees will have more to talk about every year. If someone took up the mantle for 2009, if it's on a date I can make I'll be there.

From the same article: "Her spokesman Max Clifford confirmed: “If people go and see her it’s literally a case of her opening her eyes, saying, ‘Hi, how are you?’ and going back to sleep again." If only she had been in that condition when she was on Big Brother.

Is it just me, or whenever Gordo speaks does it look like he's about to cough up a fur ball at any minute?

Why did they play Queen songs when Elvis died?

Excellent! A tribute video, too. Touched by the Jane Goody story, and inspired by his dear friend Elton John's poignant musical tribute to the previous People's Princess, Sir Paul McCartney has rewritten the words to one of his greatest songs. He left a copy in my tube carriage this morning, so I proudly present for the DL community: Hey Jade, don't look so sad, You sold your wedding, you should feel bet-ter. The cancer, it's heading into your heart So now you can start, your final let-ter. Hey Jade, don't be afraid, Just lie down comfy, on your new set-tee. The minute you opened up your fat gob We knew you'd be cursed, by Shilpa Shet-ty And anytime you feel the pain, hey Jade, complain, The cancer's spreading to your should-ers. And thanks to scumbag's Tweed's pure greed He'll hoard the cash, til the kids are old-er. Hey Jade, don't let Max down, He has saved you, and now you owe him. Remember, he got you into Hello So go and write him, a little po-em. So step on out and let us in, Hey Jade, begin, To say goodbye to your dear mother. And don't you know that it's not just you, hey Jade, who f**ked, Their lives up on Big Brother. Hey Jade, it's nearly time. So be strong now, give us a wave. Remember, no one will see your sad face. When you are lying, in your gra-ave.