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maryportfuncity

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Everything posted by maryportfuncity

  1. maryportfuncity

    MMMDP 2021

    21 entrants (20 quickest off the mark plus your host and - ahem - master, Maryportfuncity). Competition opens on 1 June with the aim of getting a winner by midsummer's day. This is Maryport’s Midsummer Madness Dead Pool 2021 (That’ll be MMMDP to you lot!) Abdulaziz final public duty - presiding as master over the Masterlist!
  2. maryportfuncity

    MMMDP 2021

    MMMDP Form Guide #2 Leslie Philips Veteran thespian, evergreen dead pool pick and 97 years old on 20 April. His third wife is almost 40 years his junior, his romantic life can usefully described as "colourful" and his ability to confound dead pool punters is legendary. Nick-named "Ding Dong" (not to be confused with veteran pornster King Dong) and one of those faces you've seen everywhere (assuming you have watched "classic" UK films and television), qualifying obits a certainty even if several major disasters assault the UK at the same moment Ding Dong finally ducks out.
  3. maryportfuncity

    MMMDP 2021

    MMMDP Form Guide #1 An Indian ambulance - the chasing of which is working a treat in the DL Cup, just sayin'
  4. maryportfuncity

    MMMDP 2021

    Non of yer half-baked shite here, proper rules forged over years of intense competition and sound dead pool management, or summat 21 entrants (20 quickest off the mark plus your host and - ahem – master, Maryportfuncity). Competition opens on 1 June with the aim of getting a winner by midsummer's day. Maryport’s Midsummer Madness Dead Pool 2021 (That’ll be MMMDP to you lot!) And those Rules in Full: 1 - The object of the MMMDP is to WIN. 2 - To enter the MMMDP a contestant must have: A candidate not selected by another other entrant. A “candidate” in this context means a living person aged 18 or over who remains alive at midnight on May 31st and is considered likely to cease living soon after and also be capable of gaining a qualifying obit – see rule 9 below – upon death. The only exception to this rule are persons residing on death row with an execution falling within June 2021 (feel free to risk a death rower due to take the final walk from 1 July). 3 - Entries open at 9-00am BST on 31st May and close at midnight on 31 May. Entry can only be made by posting the name of a candidate on the MMMDP thread on the Deathlist. 4 – The competition is deemed to be open at 00-00-01 (i.e. the first second of the day) BST hrs on 1 June 2021. 5 – Competition ceases on the death of the first nominated pick on the list of candidates and the winner is the dead pooler who has selected said candidate. 5a – In the event that all 21 selections remain breathing as of midnight on 21 June competition ceases anyway and the selections are deemed to have won. It is likely – but not mandatory – in these circumstances that DL posters who have not entered will heap mockery and abuse on the 21 entrants who have failed to select a stiff despite the highly permissive policy of entrants and qualifying obits of MMMDP. 6 – Entry is limited to 21 players (twenty who are obliged to post entries on the MMMDP thread and Maryport who reserves a right of entry as the master of ceremonies for this endeavour). Presumably the artistic intent is obvious but in case you missed it the idea is to get 21 players to compete for a death within 21 days thereby giving us a victory by midsummer’s day at the latest. If you’re snoozin’ you’re losing. 6a – Because he has forced his own entry Maryport guarantees to respect the first 20 qualifying picks and only enter a candidate unselected by the others. Thereby ensuring the really hot selections go to others. 7 - In the event that two players select the same candidate the allocation of the pick will go to the player who first posted an entry for that candidate – even if the entry times are within the same minute. 8 – In the event that two players tie for victory on the basis of picks expiring on the same day all efforts will be made to ascertain a winner on the basis of the actual time of death. For these purposes local time of death will be translated to GMT if required. 9 - An "obit" in the context of the MMMDP is any news report in English from a reliable source. Such sources include - but are not limited to - UK national press, UK national broadcast organisations, foreign press and broadcast organisations with an English language thread to their communication, trade press in English, local news organisations reporting in English and coverage in specialist online sites, such as those monitoring the well-being of super-centenarians. Where dispute arises over the qualifying nature of a news source for obit purposes MPFC's decision is final. But he wants fast and furious competition and is generally very amenable to low hanging dead pool fruit of all varieties. 10 – The Raymond Hewlett Memorial Award applies to the MMMDP. In honour of everybody's favourite Maddie-implicated paedo scum a candidate widely believed to be alive when the winner is declared and subsequently proven to have died previously will be awarded victory in the event that a MMMDP qualifying obit subsequently appears for said candidate. In the event that a MMMDP qualifying obit for the candidate is subsequently proven to have existed prior to commencement of the MMMDP the initial victory will be voided. RHME assisted victory is only available during competition, and in the event that competition is ended before discovery of a qualifying RHME candidate no revision of the final result will occur. Similarly, if some lucky candidate is awarded RHME victory and this victory – once declared – is proven to be spurious by late discovery of a qualifying obit; the lucky winner will be allowed to keep his/her lucky win. With this in mind rule 10a has been drawn up. Given the lengthy build-up and rapid victories of past years the least we should get from the one-day period is some entertaining banter on the thread if some desperate entrant is busily digging on little visited websites for confirmation of death of a “well known” breeder of gerbils or the like! 10a – To ensure smooth operation of rule 10 the period for discovery of result altering obits is deemed to be 48 hours plus the remainder of the calendar day in which victory is first claimed. In other words two days and a part of another day. 11 - If an obited death occurs during play of the MMMDP and is missed despite MPFC's best efforts to stay in touch and/or the spirited efforts of MMMDP participants and said death is missed in totting up points, after which a winner is declared, then this death will not count for competition purposes. The same is true in the case of a known death gathering a late obit and therefore allowing some other competitor to be declared a winner. All disputes relating to rule 11 will be resolved by the astute judgement of MPFC and there is no appeals procedure (though all sides of opinion are warmly invited to liven up the MMMDP thread by venting their fury). 12 - In the event that Deathlist editing options or other online trickery is discovered to have been employed in the editing of entries, those duly fingered for such cheating will be removed from the MMMDP and banned for life from subsequent entry into MMMDPs. 13 – In the unlikely event that a pick selected on 31 May fails to mark the start line the entrant selecting said pick will still be deemed to have entered the competition and will have until midnight 1 June to select a new pick (unselected by other entrants). Should the entrant fail to do so no other entrant will be allowed in as a replacement. 14 - A prize will be awarded as follows: i: Should the winner agree to attend a DLCon with MPFC a double measure of alcoholic drinks (pints, wine or spirits) will be supplied by MPFC along with much hearty congratulations and back-slapping. ii: A carefully chosen and appropriate prize will be posted to the winner (such as the DVD copy of the original Death Race movie supplied to the 2009 Deathrace). iii: MPFC will make a charitable donation to a cause of the winner's choice (as has been the case with all but one of the previous winnings of the Deathrace). This course of action is highly encouraged and is known to show dead poolers as something other than the sicko scum many ranters believe us to be. AND FINALLY... On completion of MMMDP activities the thread will get lively for a short while as losing contestants and spectactors offer well-deserved congratulations to the skilful and highly talented new champion, after which time it is expected that the cooling corpse of the thread will be allowed to gently sink into oblivion.
  5. maryportfuncity

    Authors Last A Long Time, But....

    Some authors seem to go on for ages and they don't appear on boards like this because they often stay out of the public eye. Many people simply assume they're dead. However the following are unlikely to be setting sprint world records or clocking up high sales figures for pin up calenders these days. J.D 'Catcher in the Rye' Salinger, 1919 - Harper 'To Kill a Mockingbird' Lee, 1926 - Robert M 'Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintainence' Pirsig, 1928 -
  6. maryportfuncity

    MMMDP 2020

    Oh aye, I'd better do summat about it Tomorrow, (Weds) then - I'll be back on it. Spade and Banana can manage the current form posts - fuck knows, they're picking low-hanging gold atm!
  7. maryportfuncity

    MMMDP 2020

    21 entrants (20 quickest off the mark plus your host and - ahem - master, Maryportfuncity). Competition opens on 1 June with the aim of getting a winner by midsummer's day. Maryport’s Midsummer Madness Dead Pool 2020 (That’ll be MMMDP to you lot!) WILLIE get picked this year? The Masterlist 24 mins after entries opened - C'mon people, what else are you doing in the last hours of lockdown? 1. Tommy Palmer (Joey Russ) 2. Peter Tobin (The Old Lady) 3. Ernest Angley (Torva Messor) 4. Dr. Rebecca Shadowen (GC Reptile) 5. Killer Tim Brooks (Captain Chorizo) 6. Derek Draper (Book) 7. Bhanwarlal Meghwal (Drol) 8. Willie Thorne (Toast) 9. June Spencer (Bibliogryphon) 10. Anne Buydens Douglas (Great Uncle Bulgaria) 11. Kane Tanaka (The Engineer) 12. Vera Lynn (The Old Crem) 13. Frank Ifield (YoungWillz) 14. Sumner Redstone (Death Impends) 15. Bob Dole (MSC) 16. Glenn Keast (Miracle Aligner) 17. Ruthie Thompson (Chilean Way) 18. Lee Teng Hui (Perhaps) 19. Neddy Smith (Skinny Kiltrunner) 20. Leslie Philips (TherewillbeDeaths7) 21. Tom Smith (Maryportfuncity)
  8. maryportfuncity

    48. Shane MacGowan

    "Kids"?! Wtf is he kidding - how many people that young aspire to be Shane, let alone listen to his albums?
  9. I'm guessing the DDP and HPDP will throw up loads of candidates fit for a paragraph and unfit for a busy thread or proper obit. Mebbe a good idea to collect such creatures on one thread so's those of us with an - ahem - sporting interest can keep tabs on 'em. I'll cop for having such an interest in Rachil Jonze, who might just be this year's Ms Groves. Similarly Ian McNicol may afford us that combination of brief media coverage and ongoing ranter fire we've come to know and love over the years. and Dawn Hughes' illness was the subject of television coverage as part of Channel 4's 'Mummy Diaries.' She's also made appearances on BBC television and the BBC web site, her husband works for the Beeb. Then there's everyone's favourite pin up: Winnie Langley. I took a long-shot punt on her for the DDP mainly because I thought if she went the various papers who'd covered her 100th birthday wouldn't be able to resist running that great picture again. Anyone else gonna cop for long shot picks before OoO and NAP do their duty and reveal all?
  10. Dunno about you but I get that tingle of anticipation when I hear the music introducing the news and find myself thinking: I wonder where a lonely nutcase will strike today? So I've lined up 50 nations with one notion; call the venue from the menu and feel made up when others get slayed up. Seriously though folks, where do you think the lonely and rejected world tour will touch down next?
  11. maryportfuncity

    The 2021 Deathlist Cup

    Oh, I've gone a couple of days without falling further behind Progress, or summat
  12. maryportfuncity

    Dead Pop Stars

    Just hit on a great site dealing with popular music deaths. Enjoy!
  13. maryportfuncity

    Stairway To Heaven/ Highway To Hell

    Good spot, I'll nab him for my semi-final line up in the DL Cup
  14. maryportfuncity

    Ask A Deathlister

    Aye, for the intellectual who hasn't discovered the Deathlist!
  15. maryportfuncity

    Ask A Deathlister

    So oddly enough I was swapping messages with someone who has binged the lot and claims to love it. The thing being she's notably intelligent, highly creative in her working life and I'd never have guessed she was a fan, or - indeed - had the time to watch all the episodes. Also, she's fairly alternative in other tastes up to and including actually enjoying slim volumes of hard to fathom modern poetry.
  16. maryportfuncity

    The 2021 Deathlist Cup

    I've had a ring round my team - everyone answered but I heard several mumbles and a lot of unmistakable sounds of underwear being involuntarily filled I predict a scoring end to the month though catching Spade appears beyond the tactical master plan at present.
  17. maryportfuncity

    Dead Pop Stars

    A mere 76, thought he was older than that
  18. maryportfuncity

    Dead Pop Stars

    "A long illness! - anyone know owt?
  19. maryportfuncity

    Old Folkies Home

    Good spot, thanks
  20. maryportfuncity

    Old Folkies Home

    There's a whole generation of folk singers out there straddling the mid sixties to seventies in age. Whilst not seriously old a lot of this crowd have played night after night in smoky venues, drunk heavily throughout their careers and been obliged to drive long distances in search of a few quid because many of them never really made it. One or two - like Gordon Lightfoot - did do well. Others, like Tom Paxton and many of the British crowd - Wizz Jones, Harvey Andrews etc - never made it out of the folk clubs and have no massive 'hits' covered by other artists to keep them in cash, obliging them to keep covering road miles and turning up in front of a few dozen people. It can't be doing them any good. I know Gordon Lightfoot was lucky to survive suffering an abdominal haemorrage on stage in 2002 and miraculously recovered to play Live8. There must be a few others in this category fixin' to strum their last. Anyone know more than me and want to share it?
  21. maryportfuncity

    The 2021 Deathlist Cup

    Aye, my decent HPDP performances tend not to translate here. Amazed to be in the last eight, frankly - the dead pooling equivalent of a test match specialist dropped into the Big Bash. That said, will Bouteflika (joker and unique pick for me) see June?
  22. maryportfuncity

    Dalai Lama

    Fuck sake, a great meme was begging and they blast a sitter over the bar by misspelling hinge! Wtf is the planet coming to?
  23. maryportfuncity

    The 2021 Deathlist Cup

    Verbinsky makes enemies because of what he chooses to do for a living, bit like anyone standing up to Putin. If he's ill too then that's definitely at death's many doors. I did have Navalny on my long-list but decided it'd be a bad pick - but he could starve/get poisoned/get ill because his immune system is fucked etc. Re the eight uniques. DL Cup really isn't my strongest game in dead pooling but it struck me as ironic that my team is something of an outlier for having perennial talent like Bouteflika on the list. Made the last eight - thereby equaling Carlisle United's best FA Cup performance!
  24. maryportfuncity

    The 2021 Deathlist Cup

    Three days into 31, mind Just sayin' - ten picks for each of us not held by the other and talent on both teams!
  25. maryportfuncity

    The 2021 Deathlist Cup

    Fair play, Spade - a hit on day one. Our match up is first out of the traps for excitement, then.
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