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Thu 22 Feb 40 Electric Six — Danger! High Voltage +4 36 Busted — Year 3000 33 X-Press 2 ft. David Byrne — Lazy 30 Dido — White Flag 28 The Darkness — I Believe In A Thing Called Love 28 Coldplay — In My Place 28 S Club 7 — You 28 Lumidee — Never Leave You 28 Benny Benassi PTS The Biz — Satisfaction 28 Mis-Teeq — Scandalous 27 Kylie Minogue — Love At First Sight 26 Oasis — Stop Crying Your Heart Out 26 Justin Timberlake — Rock Your Body 25 Shakira — Whenever, Wherever 25 Oasis — Little By Little / She Is Love 25 Puretone — Addicted To Bass 25 Justin Timberlake — Cry Me A River -3 24 Pink — Get The Party Started 24 S Club — Say Goodbye / Love Ain’t Gonna Wait For You 24 Blazin’ Squad — Flip Reverse 23 Girls Aloud — Jump 23 Liberty X — Got To Have Your Love 23 Rachel Stevens — Sweet Dreams My L.A. Ex 22 Dannii Minogue — I Begin To Wonder 21 Scooter — The Logical Song 21 Kevin Lyttle — Turn Me On 21 A1 — Caught In The Middle 21 Ultrabeat — Pretty Green Eyes 21 The Black Eyed Peas — Shut Up 20 Atomic Kitten — The Last Goodbye / Be With You 20 Kelly Rowland — Stole 20 Jennifer Lopez ft. LL Cool J — All I Have 20 Lisa Maffia — All Over 19 Will Young — Don’t Let Me Down / You And I 19 Girls Aloud — No Good Advice 19 The Darkness — Don’t Let The Bells End 18 DJ Sammy — The Boys Of Summer 18 Appleton — Fantasy 17 Madonna — Hollywood 17 Sinéad Quinn — I Can’t Break Down 17 Holly Valance — Down Boy 16 Big Brovaz — Favourite Things  14 No Doubt — Hey Baby 10 Red Hot Chili Peppers — By The Way 06 Britney Spears ft. Madonna — Me Against The Music -3 I know there's no copyright on titles, but Timberlake gets minus points from me for being so crass as to copy the title of a famous and much better song.

Hoyle is useless as Speaker anyway. He should be long gone.

I've never watched that programme. Are women not allowed to speak in it?

I am. Imagine how cool it was being a child in the 1960s.

Wed 21 Feb 35 Electric Six — Danger! High Voltage +4 33 Rachel Stevens — Sweet Dreams My L.A. Ex 31 Busted — Year 3000 30 Dido — White Flag 30 Mis-Teeq — Scandalous 29 Justin Timberlake — Cry Me A River 28 Shakira — Whenever, Wherever 28 S Club 7 — You 28 X-Press 2 ft. David Byrne — Lazy 27 Oasis — Little By Little / She Is Love 27 Blazin’ Squad — Flip Reverse 26 Oasis — Stop Crying Your Heart Out 26 Coldplay — In My Place 26 Kylie Minogue — Love At First Sight 26 Justin Timberlake — Rock Your Body 26 Lumidee — Never Leave You 26 Pink — Get The Party Started 26 The Darkness — I Believe In A Thing Called Love 24 S Club — Say Goodbye / Love Ain’t Gonna Wait For You 24 Benny Benassi PTS The Biz — Satisfaction 23 Girls Aloud — Jump 23 Puretone — Addicted To Bass 23 Liberty X — Got To Have Your Love 23 The Black Eyed Peas — Shut Up 22 Dannii Minogue — I Begin To Wonder 21 Scooter — The Logical Song 21 Kevin Lyttle — Turn Me On 21 A1 — Caught In The Middle 21 Ultrabeat — Pretty Green Eyes 20 Holly Valance — Down Boy 20 Atomic Kitten — The Last Goodbye / Be With You 20 Kelly Rowland — Stole 20 Jennifer Lopez ft. LL Cool J — All I Have 20 Lisa Maffia — All Over 20 Big Brovaz — Favourite Things 19 Girls Aloud — No Good Advice 19 The Darkness — Don’t Let The Bells End 18 DJ Sammy — The Boys Of Summer 18 Appleton — Fantasy  17 Will Young — Don’t Let Me Down / You And I 17 Madonna — Hollywood 17 Sinéad Quinn — I Can’t Break Down 15 No Doubt — Hey Baby 14 Lemar — Dance (With U) 13 Justin Timberlake — Like I Love You 13 Red Hot Chili Peppers — By The Way 10 Britney Spears ft. Madonna — Me Against The Music 00 Beyoncé — Baby Boy  -6

Are we going to let Rachel Stevens win this round out of sheer devilment?

I think so. While it may never have gone away entirely, I'm now hearing it all the time. For example, I've noticed it with people I've regularly listened to on Youtube, who I never heard saying it before.

Something else I've noticed is the very recent resurgence of "D'you know what" to call attention to the following statement. "D'you know what, I'm going to get rid of it and buy a new one." "You know what, I think she might be pregnant," etc This phrase used to be rife when I was a kid and we would be told not to say it. Suddenly it seems to be everywhere.

Funny, I used to watch four soaps (Corrie, Eastenders, Emmerdale & Brookside) but went cold turkey on all of them when they went up to 4 or 5 episodes a week. Back then, pre-internet, I would probably have watched Strictly as there wasn't so much choice of home entertainment, and it would have passed the time. It holds zero appeal for me now. That said, it would probably have been on while I was reading a book. I might have looked up from time to time if something happened to catch my attention. I watched a lot more crap when I was young because options were limited.

Finally got around to watching Twin Peaks. About four episodes in to S2 now and have been enjoying it. I've got the gold box DVD set which is just the original 2 1990s series. What's the general opinion on the 2017 series and the film?

Tue 20 Feb 34 X-Press 2 ft. David Byrne — Lazy 34 Coldplay — In My Place 30 Benny Benassi PTS The Biz — Satisfaction 29 Electric Six — Danger! High Voltage +4 29 The Black Eyed Peas — Shut Up 29 Lumidee — Never Leave You 29 Rachel Stevens — Sweet Dreams My L.A. Ex 28 Justin Timberlake — Cry Me A River 28 S Club 7 — You 27 Dido — White Flag 27 Busted — Year 3000 26 Mis-Teeq — Scandalous 26 Blazin’ Squad — Flip Reverse 25 Oasis — Little By Little / She Is Love 24 S Club — Say Goodbye / Love Ain’t Gonna Wait For You 24 Justin Timberlake — Rock Your Body 24 Kylie Minogue — Love At First Sight 24 The Darkness — I Believe In A Thing Called Love 24 Oasis — Stop Crying Your Heart Out 24 Shakira — Whenever, Wherever 23 Girls Aloud — Jump 23 Liberty X — Got To Have Your Love 22 Dannii Minogue — I Begin To Wonder 22 Puretone — Addicted To Bass 21 Red Hot Chili Peppers — By The Way 21 Scooter — The Logical Song 21 Kevin Lyttle — Turn Me On 20 A1 — Caught In The Middle 20 Appleton — Fantasy 20 Pink — Get The Party Started 20 Holly Valance — Down Boy 20 Atomic Kitten — The Last Goodbye / Be With You 20 Kelly Rowland — Stole 20 Jennifer Lopez ft. LL Cool J — All I Have 20 Lisa Maffia — All Over 20 Big Brovaz — Favourite Things 20 Ultrabeat — Pretty Green Eyes 20 Lemar — Dance (With U) 19 Girls Aloud — No Good Advice 19 The Darkness — Don’t Let The Bells End 18 DJ Sammy — The Boys Of Summer 17 Will Young — Don’t Let Me Down / You And I 17 Madonna — Hollywood 17 Sinéad Quinn — I Can’t Break Down -3 15 No Doubt — Hey Baby 14 Beyoncé — Baby Boy 13 NSYNC — Girlfriend 13 Justin Timberlake — Like I Love You 12 Britney Spears ft. Madonna — Me Against The Music 06 Britney Spears — I’m Not A Girl, Not Yet A Woman -3

I don't think you chaps have much to complain about .... oh no, we're back to massive cocks again .....

It wasn't a problem in my day. We all managed to get home without one too. Seriously - there is no need for a child to use a mobile phone while at school.

Love this.

Mon 19 Feb 33 Coldplay — In My Place 31 The Black Eyed Peas — Shut Up 30 X-Press 2 ft. David Byrne — Lazy 29 Shakira — Whenever, Wherever 28 Busted — Year 3000 28 S Club 7 — You 27 Electric Six — Danger! High Voltage +4 26 Benny Benassi PTS The Biz — Satisfaction -6 26 Mis-Teeq — Scandalous +4 26 Pink — Get The Party Started 26 Justin Timberlake — Cry Me A River 26 Lumidee — Never Leave You 26 Rachel Stevens — Sweet Dreams My L.A. Ex 25 Blazin’ Squad — Flip Reverse 24 The Darkness — I Believe In A Thing Called Love 24 Dido — White Flag -6 23 Girls Aloud — Jump 23 Kylie Minogue — Love At First Sight 23 Red Hot Chili Peppers — By The Way 23 Oasis — Stop Crying Your Heart Out 23 Oasis — Little By Little / She Is Love 22 Dannii Minogue — I Begin To Wonder 21 Scooter — The Logical Song 21 Justin Timberlake — Rock Your Body 21 Kevin Lyttle — Turn Me On 20 Puretone — Addicted To Bass 20 A1 — Caught In The Middle 20 S Club Juniors — One Step Closer 20 Appleton — Fantasy 20 Liberty X — Got To Have Your Love 20 Holly Valance — Down Boy 20 Will Young — Don’t Let Me Down / You And I 20 Atomic Kitten — The Last Goodbye / Be With You 20 Kelly Rowland — Stole 20 Sinéad Quinn — I Can’t Break Down 20 Jennifer Lopez ft. LL Cool J — All I Have 20 Lisa Maffia — All Over 20 Big Brovaz — Favourite Things 20 S Club — Say Goodbye / Love Ain’t Gonna Wait For You 20 Ultrabeat — Pretty Green Eyes 20 Lemar — Dance (With U) 19 Beyoncé — Baby Boy 19 Girls Aloud — No Good Advice 19 The Darkness — Don’t Let The Bells End 18 DJ Sammy — The Boys Of Summer 17 No Doubt — Hey Baby 17 Britney Spears — I’m Not A Girl, Not Yet A Woman 17 NSYNC — Girlfriend 16 Madonna — Hollywood 15 Britney Spears ft. Madonna — Me Against The Music 15 Justin Timberlake — Like I Love You 13 Kym Marsh — Cry

As the late Queen used to say, it's important to be seen. If he wasn't seen, rumours would be started that he was dead and it was being covered up. The Princess of Wales hasn't been seen in public since Christmastime, and all sorts of ugly rumours are being spread around by certain parties. We don't need any more of that.

Yes, he meant they deserved to die of Aids because they were gay should have known better. Hence me saying that many people contracted HIV before it was known about, so it wasn't fair to criticise them for not taking precautions. It was clear to me that he meant it homophobically though. Can I have a drag of your ciggie? Five years since I had one.

He meant gay men in general.

Yes, I remember being really shocked when a colleague opined of Freddie Mercury that "those sort of people brought it on themselves". Apart from anything else, people who died of AIDS around that time would almost certainly have contracted it before it was known about. Mind you, I never liked the guy.

Sun 18 Feb 34 Electric Six — Danger! High Voltage  +4 33 The Black Eyed Peas — Shut Up 29 X-Press 2 ft. David Byrne — Lazy 29 Benny Benassi PTS The Biz — Satisfaction 28 S Club 7 — You 28 Shakira — Whenever, Wherever 26 Lumidee — Never Leave You 25 Coldplay — In My Place 25 Rachel Stevens — Sweet Dreams My L.A. Ex 24 Dido — White Flag 24 Pink — Get The Party Started 24 Justin Timberlake — Cry Me A River 23 The Darkness — I Believe In A Thing Called Love 23 Busted — Year 3000  23 Girls Aloud — Jump 23 Kylie Minogue — Love At First Sight 22 Mis-Teeq — Scandalous 22 Dannii Minogue — I Begin To Wonder 22 Oasis — Little By Little / She Is Love 21 Blazin’ Squad — Flip Reverse 21 Scooter — The Logical Song 21 Justin Timberlake — Rock Your Body 21 Kevin Lyttle — Turn Me On 21 NSYNC — Girlfriend 20 Puretone — Addicted To Bass 20 A1 — Caught In The Middle 20 Britney Spears — I’m Not A Girl, Not Yet A Woman  20 S Club Juniors — One Step Closer 20 S Club Juniors — Automatic High 20 Appleton — Fantasy 20 Liberty X — Got To Have Your Love 20 Holly Valance — Down Boy 20 Will Young — Don’t Let Me Down / You And I 20 Atomic Kitten — The Last Goodbye / Be With You 20 Kelly Rowland — Stole 20 Sinéad Quinn — I Can’t Break Down 20 Jennifer Lopez ft. LL Cool J — All I Have 20 Kym Marsh — Cry 20 Lisa Maffia — All Over 20 Big Brovaz — Favourite Things 20 S Club — Say Goodbye / Love Ain’t Gonna Wait For You 20 Ultrabeat — Pretty Green Eyes 20 Lemar — Dance (With U) 20 Beyoncé — Baby Boy 20 The Darkness — Don’t Let The Bells End 20 Red Hot Chili Peppers — By The Way 19 Girls Aloud — No Good Advice  19 Oasis — Stop Crying Your Heart Out 18 Britney Spears ft. Madonna — Me Against The Music 18 DJ Sammy — The Boys Of Summer 17 Justin Timberlake — Like I Love You 17 No Doubt — Hey Baby 16 Madonna — Hollywood 14 Blue — Guilty   06 Craig David & Sting — Rise And Fall  -6

What exactly is meant by hospice care in the USA? Here in the UK it's generally understood to be for people who are terminally ill.

No indeed, much better to keep a distance.

Yeah, I think we've discussed elsewhere the apparent fear of using "me". On similar lines. Someone of my acquaintance, an intelligent, well-educated and well-known artist, habitually writes things like "Peter and I's exhibition" which should of course be "Peter's and my exhibition". It grinds my gears whenever I see this but I wouldn't want to correct them cold, and doubt if a suitable opportunity would arise to do so tactfully.