Body Snatcher 44

InAustraliawedon'tusuallyhavespellingmistakesbutsometimeswetalkwithoutusingspacesbetweenthewo rds. LikeG'dayhowyougoingalright? Wespeaklikethisbecausetherearealotoffliesdownhereandifyouopenyourmouthfortoolong thegetin.

I went with Demjanjuk again -why? because I don't like Nazis.

Wasn't It Time who accurately predicted Ludovic Kennedy as the 11 death of the year? If it was you Time - well done mate.

Enjoy! A young lass from the town Parramatta Had a face total darkness can't flatter. She worked the streets at night, And via a lack of foresight A bloke was born, Body Snatcher. The aforementioned Snatcher when pissed Joined the online forum deathlist. His posts in large part ignored, But he does it when he gets bored And I think I just burst my bad cyst. To each other you guys are so mean I hope that this poem is seen. If it isn't that's okay, It won't keep me at bay I'll be back with more on Baked Bean.

Never a frown with Gordon Brown.

Baked beans from the night before, I was drunk now my head is sore, The beans are now vomit, pooled on the floor, All I remember is the $10 whore.

I think you misspelled something there. Baked beans are good for your hart, The more you eat the more you fart, The more you fart the better you feel, So eat baked beans for every meel. So did you. Beans, beans, the musical fruit The more you eat the more you toot The more you toot the more you eat The more you sit on the toilet seat. For the record, I am 36 years old. Baked beans and their hypnotic trance The more you eat the more you dance The more you dance the greater the chance Of filling your pants with flatulance* If I spelled flatulence correctly it wouldn't have rhymed as well.

The best use for baked beans is throwing any leftover tins into the camp fire and waiting for them to explode - great fun. To borrow a page from Yvonne's book... Baked beans are good for your hart, The more you eat the more you fart, The more you fart the better you feel, So eat baked beans for every meal.

Noticing a strange pattern developing as well eh?

Ummm........ok. The rubber brick is a brick...........its possibly as integral to the Brits as a house brick...........could be considered "Arty" in some quarters ( Beds are good enough for Emin)....................a painting of a rubber brick doing what rubber bricks do?.......................who to pose as the child in the pyjamas?...............cant use kids in this "paranoid" climate.........................who can double as a child?...................Jimmy Clitheroe is dead............................Jeanette ( Wee Jimmy) krankie perhaps?.............Lard Bazaaar takes umbrage because she is fed up with being seen as a Jimmy Krankie lookalike........................Rip Van wankle ( Guest) says " You look fook all like her!"................................Godot comments on the remarkable resemblance of Jimmy Krankie to Ex Labour minister Hazel Blears...........................you put up a picture of Dept PM of Australia, who is Ginger but doesnt look like Jimmy Krankie...........................you ask "What has this all to do with bricks?"......................Ummm..........ok. The rubber brick is............... I see...I felt compelled to say LFN please continue but thought that would be in bad taste. Because LFN, where would I be without you? P.S. I thought Gillard looked like him, it whatever it is. Bad taste?! What on here? Where would you be without me? Probably where you are now, somewhere warm, brave, go ahead and somewhere you wouldnt really want to leave, infact everything Blighty isnt! Had to Google Ms Gillard, the average Pom probably doesnt even know who the Prime Minister of Australia is let alone the Deputy. Having read about her I am now deeply concerned that your Government will spend the next 12 years f'ucking you over before Australia finally realises its been had..........but we wont talk Politics here, its all about bricks!!! By Australian standards (you Brits would probably scoff at the notion) it was a cold one in Victoria today (currently 8C), I have my wall heater on - Its surrounded by BRICKS (I'm catching on with the theme of this thread, YAY) As for Gillard, she is Just Another Brick In The Wall of the Labour movement. LFN be impressed as I have attempted to merge Politics with Bricks - Hooray. Also dude I enjoy trading banter with you and the other guys on the forums, Its just great. Plus my girlfriend doesn't know I'm on this site, but she is passed out on the couch - I will continue this on the Drunk? Bored? or Psychopath? thread...

(this is a follow-on from my post on the Brick thread)...my housemate bought coconuts, we hollowed them out and have been drinking cocktails out of them since 8pm. Its great fun, if you guys get bored then hollow out some coconuts and invite friends over for a cocktail and poker party. The party has mellowed out now though and most of the people have gone home (work in the morning and so forth) I strongly recommend it if you have the time - If you are bored you have the time, If you are drunk then you have the time - but not much alcohol, If you are psychopath then use this as a way to lure potential victims...

Ummm........ok. The rubber brick is a brick...........its possibly as integral to the Brits as a house brick...........could be considered "Arty" in some quarters ( Beds are good enough for Emin)....................a painting of a rubber brick doing what rubber bricks do?.......................who to pose as the child in the pyjamas?...............cant use kids in this "paranoid" climate.........................who can double as a child?...................Jimmy Clitheroe is dead............................Jeanette ( Wee Jimmy) krankie perhaps?.............Lard Bazaaar takes umbrage because she is fed up with being seen as a Jimmy Krankie lookalike........................Rip Van wankle ( Guest) says " You look fook all like her!"................................Godot comments on the remarkable resemblance of Jimmy Krankie to Ex Labour minister Hazel Blears...........................you put up a picture of Dept PM of Australia, who is Ginger but doesnt look like Jimmy Krankie...........................you ask "What has this all to do with bricks?"......................Ummm..........ok. The rubber brick is............... I see...I felt compelled to say LFN please continue but thought that would be in bad taste. Because LFN, where would I be without you? P.S. I thought Gillard looked like him, it whatever it is.

Then you must also look like Australia's Deputy Prime Minister (or actual prime minister, as she "mans" the helm when Ruddy is away) P.S. What has this all to do with bricks?

If you're after the true home-from-home experience, then the notorious Redback could be the place for you. Although it's a mere hop, skip and a barf away from me, I've never ventured in and, short of being frogmarched there at gunpoint, I doubt I ever will. A world where the Bruces are Bruces, and the Sheilas are too. Cheers to those who replied to my posting and to those who replied directly to my control thingy. I will surely do everything in my power to visit those places you have recommended within my limited time frame. Just another quick question - does anyone know if the Jack the Ripper tour still runs? I wrote an essay on him years ago and became fascinated with the whole saga, I would love to be able to take the tour.

I wonder if they'll let Charles attend the funeral.

I dont see what the problem is? Why are you already making apologies when you have no need to? If people dont like what you post they either wont respond or will have a whinge ( us poms are good at whinging) and you will be most welcome to hit back. Yes, some of the posts from members has been dire and, to an extent, it does make the forum look more sh*te than it actually is but, hey, thats the richness and diversity of life. Honez is likely to have kittens at your spelling but Im sure that he will view the content and constuction of what you post as a priority over spelling, which is how it should be really. Who wants to read a grammatically perfect and spelling mistake free post when it doesnt actually say anything? Im thinking about installing an "Analometer" in this Church of the crass, purely to ensure that no Cockspanners, Ruffians or the socially inadequate can get in. That, Im sure, will please the one few.... It wasn't so much an apology as it was an attempt to distance myself from the likes of Bob Bloblah (or whatever his name is) and the other galahs, who couldn't organize a fart in a baked bean factory and who seem a constant nuisance to you guys. My point is I want to annoy you with WHAT I'm saying not how I'm saying it. - I would never apologize for what I do and write on the internet, no matter how controversial. Also I'm fully a-Where of the spelling mistake in my previous post.

Dear Abby. Not wanting to drag myself into this heated debate - I feel the need to express my intentions for wishing to partake in the various discussions of this sight. Star Crossed mentions that "...I strongly believe that DL has been progressively dumbed-down over the last 2 years by a succession of posters who do not deserve to have membership of this forum. This has been exacerbated, indeed actively supported, by an almost comical lack of Mod intervention." Naturally I fall into this category having joined at the beginning of this year. However I do not intend to be a fly-by-night contributor who leaves when the novelty wheres off, rather stick it out for the long haul and contribute when I feel necessary, if that includes playing the part of whipping boy then so be it - honestly I don't care (bring it on). I always check my spelling, a technique I use when I write, because if I don't it retards my prose. Grammar is still sometimes an issue though! I originally sought to celebrate the lives of the colorful characters which the world has produced who are no-longer with us. Yet I have since been drawn into other discussions that have sparked my interest as well as have fun in the process. I have fallen victim to the Mod interventions - If everyone remembers that short lived forum Chubby Chaser. Regards. Body Snatcher 44. P.S. If you ever find yourselves in Australia come and visit, I'll take you surfing.

Okay, just a quick update for Aussie deaths in the month of September from 1st - 22nd. 2nd - Mr. Percival (33) - water fowl. 8th - Ray Barrett (82) - actor. 14th - Mike Leyland (68) - documentary film maker. 17th - Alexander McLeod-Lindsay (74) - unlucky bloke. 17th - Virginia Chadwick (64) - politician. The weird thing is it was the death of the pelican which received the most air time out of these people, although Barrett did receive an obit in the Weekly Times newspaper. P.S. My tip of the AFL grand final is St Kilda (though not by much), with the Norm Smith Medal going to Lenny Hayes.

Being so sick of good guys dying, I thought I'd pick a bad guy...having said that I went with Mandela. Just joking, I went with Demjanjuk.

Have you all lost your minds, or have you bricks in your head?

Flirt with death by surfing off Gunnamatta beach. Conditions were choppy and I'd never surfed there before, I could barely make it past the breakwater - washing machine style - a large wave caught me off guard and dumped me violently into the swell, I swallowed a belly full of sea water. That was on Sunday and I'm still picking sand out of my ears and arse. Can't wait to do it again next weekend! Although the profile mentions the raw sewage outflow from Melbourne, it fails to mention that sharks love to lurk in the sea trenches.

G'Day British forumers. I'm coming to England in early Feb next year for about three weeks, it is not so much a holiday as it is a vacation. Although I have business in London I should have a few free days to explore your wonderful city, having never been to London, before traveling to Devon for 2 weeks. The people I'm staying with in London have asked me to compile a list of sights to visit while I'm there, so if there are any Londoners in the forum who could recommend places off the tourist track, preferably pubs and/or taverns, it would be much appreciated. Places so far: "The Buck House" - referred to by my English mate, I initially thought it to be a popular house of ill-repute (or a brothel or something!) only to realize that he meant the residence of the Queen, God bless her. The Naval Museum - I hope I can stomach it. The Eye - It'll be good to ride one that actually works and doesn't have the potential to kill you!

Okay... I don't know where exactly to put this, so I put in it here. When you work from home, like I do, you often get bored with what you are meant to be doing and your mind wanders in and out of concentration - hence my continued postings on this sight. Today I complied a tally of the most (and least) common places for people to die on the list, from Andres Seqovia in 1987 to Edward Kennedy a number of days ago, the results are as follows... Most common death number is position 14 - 13 deaths. Least common death number is position 44 - 1 death - this years Robert Novak - As it has taken this long for 44 to get a hit I figured it was the safest! Safest number in the top 10 is lucky position 7 - 2 deaths. Unsafest number in the top 10 is position 2 - 8 deaths. Safest number in the bottom 10 is position 40, 44, 50 - each with one death. Unsafest number in the bottom 10 is position 47 - 5 deaths. Every position has had at least 1 death since the beginning of deathlist. 1=6. 2=8. 3=4. 4=7. 5=5. 6=5. 7=2. 8=3. 9=6. 10=4. 11=8. 12=4. 13=2. 14=13. 15=6. 16=2. 17=4. 18=6. 19=6. 20=4. 21=2. 22=6. 23=4. 24=1. 25=4. 26=3. 27=3. 28=5. 29=1. 30=1. 31=2. 32=4. 33=4. 34=3. 35=1. 36=4. 37=1. 38=1. 39=2. 40=1. 41=2. 42=2. 43=2. 44=1. 45=2. 46=3. 47=5. 48=2. 49=4. 50=1. A total of 182 deaths to date and something to mull around the old noggin. Now its time for sleep... P.S. Lardy is that a spongy cake for a spongy lady?

Dear Sir: I am writing in response to your request for additional information in Block #3 of the accident reporting form. I put "Poor Planning" as the cause of my accident. You said in your letter that I should explain more fully and I trust that the following details will be sufficient. I am a bricklayer by trade. On the day of the accident, I was working alone on the roof of a new six story building. When I completed my work, I discovered that I had about 500 pounds of bricks left over. Rather than carry the bricks down by hand, I decided to lower them in a barrel by using a pulley which, fortunately, was attached to the side of the building on the top floor. Securing the rope at ground level, I went up to the roof, swung the barrel over the side and loaded bricks into it. Then I went back to the ground and untied the rope holding it tightly to insure a slow descent of the 500 pounds of bricks. You will note in Block #11 of the accident report form that my weight is 185#. due to my surprise at being jerked off the ground so suddenly, I lost presence of mind and forgot to let go of the rope. Needless to say, I proceeded at a rather rapid rate up the side of the building. In the vicinity of the third floor, I met the barrel which was proceeding in a downward direction at an equally impressive rate of speed. This explains my fractured skull, minor abrasions and broken collarbone, as listed in Section III of the accident form. Slowed only slightly, I continued my rapid ascent, not stopping until the fingers of my right hand were two knuckles deep into the pulley at the top, as mentioned in Paragraph #2 of this correspondence. Fortunately by this time I had regained my presence of mind and was able to hold tightly to the rope despite the excruciating pain I was beginning to experience. At that time however, the barrel of bricks reached the ground - and the bottom fell out of the barrel when it hit. Now devoid of the 500 pounds of bricks the barrel now weighed only 50 pounds. I refer you again to my weight in Block #11. As you might imagine, I began a rapid descent down the side of the building. In the vicinity of the third floor, I met the barrel coming up. This accounts for the two fractured ankles, broken tooth, and the severe lacerations on my legs and lower body. Here my luck began to change slightly. The encounter with the barrel seemed to slow it up enough to lessen my injuries when I fell into the pile of bricks and fortunately only three vertebrae were cracked. I am sorry to report, however, that as I lay there on the pile of bricks in pain, unable to move and watching the empty barrel six stories above me, I again lost my composure and presence of mind - and let go of the rope. Sincerely, Joe the Bricklayer Cedar Sinai Hospital

Good bye and god bless. Ted Kennedy.