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Bald rick

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Posts posted by Bald rick


  1. Right - I'm putting ants in Room 101 - since I don't want them in my kitchen

     

    When you've done that, can you come round and get rid of the slugs in our kitchen? Nearly every sodding morning there are little shiny pathways on the breadboard. God knows where the bastards are getting in.


  2. A young man walks over to his father one day and asks if they could have a talk about sex. His father agrees and is eager to help his son with any questions he may have.

     

    "Dad, what does a vagina look like before sex?" asked the son.

     

    "Well son," answered the all-knowing father. "A vagina is the most beautiful thing in creation."

     

    "The soft folds of a vagina are softer even than the petals of a rose."

     

    "The delicate scent of a vagina is finer than the finest French perfumes."

     

    "The taste of a vagina is sweeter than the purest nectar."

     

    "All in all son, it's like I said, a vagina is the most beautiful thing in creation."

     

    "Gee dad, a vagina sounds just great, the way you describe it."

     

    A few moments of silence go by, then the boy asks another question.

     

    "Dad, what does a vagina look like after sex?"

     

    "Well son, have you ever seen a bulldog eating custard?"


  3. The poppy used to always have 'Haig Fund' on the black bit. I'd have thought the last thing any veteran would have wanted to wear was the name of one of the Donkeys who sent them over the top. I take it it's now under the name of the British Legion now?

    Just checked mine, and it says 'Poppy appeal' on the black bit.


  4. Although I am a poppy wearer, and always will be, and beleive quite strongly in wearing one, it irritates the hell out of me that every single TV show insists, no matter what the clothes worn, that a poppy be on there.

     

    ...

     

    but I don't like the fact that everyone is MADE to wear one.. that's just wrong.

     

    I hope you saw HIGNFY on Friday night. Last year, Reginald D Hunter was a guest during the poppy period, and asked why the hell he was wearing the poppy (it had been pinned on him by a make up girl just before the recording started), and it was explained to him. He was on again last week, and he was not wearing a poppy.


  5. A man was leaving a convenience store with his morning coffee when he noticed a most unusual funeral procession approaching the nearby cemetery. A long black hearse was followed by a second long black hearse about 50 feet behind the first one. Behind the second hearse was a solitary man walking a dog on a leash. Behind him, a short distance back, were about 200 men walking single file.

     

    The man couldn't stand the curiosity. He respectfully approached the man walking the dog and said, 'I am so sorry for your loss, and this may be a bad time to disturb you, but I've never seen a funeral like this.

    Whose funeral is it?'

     

    'My wife's.'

     

    'What happened to her?'

     

    The man replied, 'My dog attacked and killed her.'

     

    He inquired further, 'But who is in the second hearse?'

     

    The man answered, 'My mother-in-law. She was trying to help my wife when the dog turned on her.'

     

    A poignant and thoughtful moment of silence passed between the two men.

     

    'Can I borrow the dog?'

     

    The man replied, 'Get in line.'


  6. What is the best way to get my desktop computer wireless? I have just got broadband, which came with a nice wireless router thingy, but our phone socket is in the hall, and the computer is in a different room. We don't want to have cables trailing throughout the house (they would be FAR too interesting to our two year old), so I thought that I could buy a wireless adapter for the PC so it can talk to the wireless router. As far as I understand it, there are two ways to do this, I could buy a PCI card with a little antenna on it, or a USB wireless device. Which would give me the faster data rate? Are there any other reasons why one would be preferable to the other?

     

    Many thanks, o wise techno-savvy sages of the Deathlist.

     

    If you go down the wireless router route, I'd strongly suggest contacting your broadband provider to confirm what type of router you require. (For example, Sky and Virgin use different routers.) I have a PCI card in my PC and a USB wireless device on the laptop and the response/download time difference is negligable.

    Many thanks for the rapid response. I did say I already have broadband, and a wireless router, so this won't be an issue. Thanks for the advice about download differences.


  7. What is the best way to get my desktop computer wireless? I have just got broadband, which came with a nice wireless router thingy, but our phone socket is in the hall, and the computer is in a different room. We don't want to have cables trailing throughout the house (they would be FAR too interesting to our two year old), so I thought that I could buy a wireless adapter for the PC so it can talk to the wireless router. As far as I understand it, there are two ways to do this, I could buy a PCI card with a little antenna on it, or a USB wireless device. Which would give me the faster data rate? Are there any other reasons why one would be preferable to the other?

     

    Many thanks, o wise techno-savvy sages of the Deathlist.


  8. I've started this thread (and please merge if there is already one like it) because I know that fellow Deathlisters are well equipped to answer all kinds of off beat questions.

     

    So here's one:

     

    I was reading the Metro on the train the other day and found an item about an NHS opinion poll over plans to create lifelike anatomical images online to illustrate medical conditions. There were two options - one with reproductive organs illustrated and one with doll-like images that showed nothing at all where our organs should be. I have been looking for some on-line reference but can't find one and haven't turned-up the story in any other newspaper. Has anyone else seen this? If so, could you point to an on-line source. I'm never sure about whether to treat a Metro story as a reliable source.

    Glad to be of service.


  9. :lol::wub::wub:

    Top link CP, thanks.

     

    I like the logic:

     

    More Truth:

    An iceberg was blamed for sinking the Titanic. Yeah right. Do they expect us to believe that ice--which is frozen water--is stronger than metal--the stuff they make swords out of? If icebergs are really that tough, then why don't people make boats out of icebergs instead?

    Do you think Banshees Scream is involved in that site:

     

    Truth:

    I don't know what this graph means, but I'm pretty sure it's proof that Jews were involved.


  10. Cowboy Ron, thou dust go too far, prompting me to make a list of 10 good things about Brussels and Belgium:

     

    1. It's easy to get a beer and chat to the barman in English, nice beers too.

    2. Good chips

    3. Good place for battle sites: Ypres, Waterloo.

    4. Everyone speaks English (did I mention that?).

    5. Van Eyck was a decent artist (no relation to David Icke)

    6. Bruges is nice if a bit smelly in high summer.

    7. Ostend has an excellent pavement.

    8. Tin Tin

    9. Ghent has a very fine alter piece (by Van Eyck)

    10. Tin Tin's dog, Snowy.

    Hmm, methinks that you were running out of steam by number 6, Monsieur Godot. I would have stopped at about the second item on your leetle list.

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