The Four Horsemen

I suppose that he had to resort to onanism as all the women at that altitude would be a bit frigid..........

Michael Jackson.....Liz Taylor......filmed insert..........rather like Lady Die earlier, I'm getting a ghastly mental image!

And not the golfing David Frost either - what a popular name for celebrities that is!

Yes, has Professor Yaffle succumbed to woodworm yet?

I'm sure there used to be comic when I was young called "Topper" - right up there with "Whizzer and Chips" and...er.....Bunty..........I mean the Dandy and Beano, obviously!

I think he was only sleeping while waiting for the son to come up...........

Surely "Pick up the Pieces" by the Average White Band might be more appropriate?

I'm sure that's the punchline to an actress/vicar joke.........

Hmm, euphemisms we have loved!

I wonder how far back she went? Rather like a human elastic band, by the sound of it.

Marvellous what passes for therapy these days!

He's like Oprah without the viewing figures............

Kids they butched? What did they do to them? Make them grow moustaches, have a tattoo and wear gold medallions?? Oh yes, if you gave your life then I'm not sure what you'd manage to do to Ian Brady, other than force him to sit in a cell with a corpse for an hour.

Tommy Rowe, I think BB was referring to. Incidentally, Eric Tindill is the oldest living test cricketer but does anyone know the oldest living international footballer - I've so far failed to find out. Similarly, England's oldest living professional footballer is proving elusive.......

Where's Kommunist when you need him!

This was another Arnold pick - wonder where he is, as he seems to have a rather uncanny knack of picking corpses-to-be...........

If I had to adhere to those guidelines I wouldn't want to live to be 99.......

Haven't you heard of Wikipedia, Iain?

What sort of joke/prank was it? I can't think of anything amusing that involves dousing oneself in petrol (or similar). That's always a great get-out line for anything stupid, it was just a joke. Unless I share a wildly different sense of humour to the great and the good, which is always possible!

Not technically a birthday or anniversary, but apparently today is Remembrance of the Dead day in the Netherlands - perhaps our Dutch correspondant Mr Hein could elaborate some more on this?

Hmm, says that she spends her time dozing and rarely speaks - sounds like ideal marriage material to me!

She probably could with a few modifications to her Stannah stairlift (cf. Gremlins)..............

I can confirm that there are wheelie bins in the Worlds First Garden City though - especially as those jolly binmen woke me up at some ungodly hour this morning with their "Warning - this vehicle is reversing" lorry and seemingly having some sort of competition to see who could hit the recycling cart from the furthest distance with the largest bottles. They've got all day, why do they feel the need to make a huge racket before the sun has even come up! Must go for a lie down.........

Pete Seeger is 87 today - no health update though

Here endeth the promotional slogan for the Carlisle Education Authority..........