TLC

Not that for a minute I thought you were referring to me there LG, but if you were, I was actually going to use excuse no. 2 (no.1 is the aforementioned too much weed excuse) which is I'd run out of weed and was in too much of a dark mood for it to occur to me I might have had social events to attend!

Missed it; butter my useless arse! Thought it was next weekend but I've got plenty of emails etc. telling me when it was so it's completely my fault I failed to turn up of course. Hope you all had fun, and hopefully I'll start visiting here again a bit more, as I imagine my up-to-date death-related posting has been sorely missed. I have a good imagination. Here's hoping there'll be more DL conventions! TLC

Same as millwall32 just said; not been on here much recently but should be there for the get together... Expect me to be full of my usual insights about potential celebrity deaths!

I knew there was something I'd been missing on my DL break.... awesome stuff. Shall I leave it another few days for the punchline to be posted? I can hardly wait.

Anyone who goes to Leicester Square for film premieres unless they're in it, helped make it etc; the important distinction being whether you're going to actually get in and see the film. My quickest way to & from work includes cutting across Leicester Square, except for at this time of year because there are thousands & thousands of people there who scream like maniacs at Limos going past which have blacked out windows for f*ck's sake.... from which the occasional 'personality' will emerge, have a couple of photos taken then leg it inside. I have still not seen one single famous person in my 6 months of working about 100 yards from Oxford & Regent Street, and I'm quite pleased about it. Well I say 'not seen', but I suspect that 'not recognised' is closer to the truth, or 'not paid attention due to apathy'. I've been away from the DL for over a month, and this is my blockbuster return post. You can probably see how my life has changed direction recently through my snazzy new writing style. Erm.

I hear the Sudan is where you pick up old tricks? I suggest your wedding outfit should comprise a pair of underpants and two pencils and that to overcome the language barrier try the word "wobble". Has to be 'wibble' or else it won't work... although saying that it wasn't a complete success for Captain Blackadder either.

Belated congratulations Bou! I hope you raise your new bundle of joy (you can tell I'm not a parent!) to eventually become a successful entertainer at weddings, which I believe is the family tradition.

Let me break the glass for just a minute and say, I think it would be a major low blow to give a Royal Forum terrorist a respected job on these forums, and not give some others the opportunity who have dedicated more time here. As I put myself above the editing job, I'm glad one of our veteran female posters got the ticket. Lady Grendel was among those who did deserve it. So you either turned the position down, or put yourself out of the running before it came up to avoid having to respectfully turn the position down... Wow, very noble of you Mr Scream. I am also glad to see Lady Grendel get the position*, especially since I now know you weren't passed over. *Insofar as it makes any difference to me as I've never had any problems with the mods that I can recall, but still, congratulations LG!

Be careful of what you sign. For you can not erase your name. Unless you sign in pencil, in which case an eraser works fine.

I guess I should probably avoid posting on this thread too.... Frankly, giving cigarettes up is easier but I owe it to the site to give it a go.

Hmm, sounds like a contradiction to me TLC . It does sound like a contradiction, but let me explain: I never apologise for my behaviour if I am the only one it embarrasses, or I may as well have a 'sorry' placard made up and superglued to my hand... What I meant was I didn't do anything to anyone that required my apologies, embarrassment by association doesn't count! I'm going put my big sticky beak in here and suggest that the contradiction is between the going to the 80s club/wearing of the beige suit etc, and the nothing to apologise about... Again, I shall not apologise for embarrassment caused by my association, or apologise if my actions or appearance only cause embarrassment to me. I usually have too many more serious things to make grovelly apologies for; pride is something that long since disappeared in the rear-view mirror of my life*. * I know I used that expression only the other day, but it got wiped from the Castro thread and I quite like it.

I presume the 'Brown Bread' headline has already been copywrited, just in case?

Hmm, sounds like a contradiction to me TLC . It does sound like a contradiction, but let me explain: I never apologise for my behaviour if I am the only one it embarrasses, or I may as well have a 'sorry' placard made up and superglued to my hand... What I meant was I didn't do anything to anyone that required my apologies, embarrassment by association doesn't count!

Crumbs, someone's been doing the spring cleaning! This is now only my second post on the Castro thread ever, so presumably the other one was missed by accident as I doubt it was on topic either. Fair enough, this thread was very messy and I contributed to that in no small way, but I was quite pleased with some of my replies to the nonsense predictions that still seem to continue unabated. Of course my posting often goes off topic, but is generally relevant to the post I reply to. Which is the grown up way of saying 'but he started it!' Oh well, I suppose it was long overdue. I expect this one'll get wiped in the next clean up; not to worry, I won't encourage any more Castro nonsense by coming back to this thread unless I have some health news i.e. not at all.

Sorry for the late reply, but thank you all for your kind words. I went to an 80's club for the big night in full beige suit (sleeves rolled up of course) t-shirt diamond stud earring & mirrored aviator mode... and sang along word perfect to almost every cheese encrusted song that was played! Unfortunately my friend with the camera seems to have been too drunk to have taken any pictures of me at my very coolest, or else I'd put some on here somewhere. I am also disappointed to report that although I got very drunk I had nothing to apologise to anyone about the next day, that's how out of practice I am. Must confess I've been seeing another internet site behind DL's back of late, facebook. As I am unable to multitask (unitasking is hard enough) it has been at the expense of posting here, although I've still been keeping up to date reading everyone else's posts. Plus I am of course still recovering from the completely expected relegation of Charlton Athletic, although on the bright side we'll probably win some games next season... I'm sure I'll soon tire of facebook though; as a 33 year old in touch with hardly anyone from school or university there is limited 'networking' I can do, most people on facebook are loads younger than me. No-one from my school year and only 8 from my entire graduation year are registered, most of my friends didn't even join friends reunited and probably still think computers are only either for nerds, or for downloading porn. Or nerds downloading porn. I'll be back in full effect soon, like it or not. TLC

My word, is that avatar of Bamber Boozle, from the magical C4 teletext (4-tel, I think it was) quiz Bamboozle? That, the IQ test and 'The Adventures of 4T' used to keep me amused for hours when I was younger; hours because it took so f*cking long for the pages to update and you had to make sure you had nigh-on perfect TV reception for them to be readable... Suggesting I was pretty much destined to become an internet surfer when it was finally invented...

Because Noddy wouldn't pay the ransom. Beep beep! I wondered if there was some significance to the capitalization, but was so eager for the punchline I didn't give it enough thought. What's orange and sounds like a parrot?

I don't know, why do elephants have big ears?

Where's the self-congratulation? Just because we don't agree with your views of us (which is that we're all c*nts) that makes us c*nts? Yeah, well done dickhead. How you've failed to convince us of our inherent cuntishness with such a watertight argument and flawless logic backed up by - well, no examples whatsoever of what is fuelling your particular lunacy - is astonishing. We should all be grateful for your attempts to save us from lives of depravity etc. And how does a loner's club work exactly? Did you think that one through at any point? No, didn't think so. Look, there are people who visit this site and are appalled about what they find, and that's fine, whatever I happen to think of their views. But most of them at least seem able to articulate why they think it's bad, or why we're c*nts or whatever. You're not even close to that, and frankly don't seem capable of it.

How dare you! I moved out from my parents' house years ago.... I can also assure you that my wrist is far from limp, any normal wrist would have RSI by now considering its service record. Could you give some of us luckless individuals next week's lottery numbers, considering how spookily accurate your predictions have been about us so far? Ta.

I'm not. Glad that's sorted out, wouldn't want a misunderstanding to develop. Any particular reason why you think every single member on here is a c*nt, or do you have a separate reason for each of us? Just using capitals doesn't really back your statement up. Just makes you look like a bit of a twat really.

I sense pride in this statement, I hope you sense no envy in my reply because there is none. My mum used to play Manilow stuff to death around the house a lot when I was little; I grew up presuming he was much more popular (not to be confused with successful) in the UK than he actually was i.e. most people know a handful of his songs and women of a 'certain age' (i.e. my mum's age) would pass out, throw knickers at him or generally go hysterical at his concerts. He was successful, granted, but not to the level that I should get the "Somewhere down the road" lyrics gag, which I think was only an album track in the UK. Lyrics: - 'I write the songs that make the whole world sing, I write the songs of love and special things' Possibly ran out of ideas there? 'The Bermuda Tri-an-gle, it makes people dis-ap-pear, The Bermuda Tri-an-gle, don't go too near (don't go too near)' Sound advice indeed. No 'I wonder how to interpret his multi-layered lyrical musings?' questions raging across the internet I should think. And no, I didn't have to look up those lyrics on Google and I've not heard either song for the best part (in every sense) of 20 years... And, Take That were rightly floundering until they re-recorded 'Could it be Magic?'; turned them from breakdancing lycra wearing fruit-fighting homo-erotic video producing losers into superstars, paving the way for every single f*cking boyband since, and the career or one R. Williams. He could have just said no, like the Grange Hill cast would have done. And did. My main claim to fame if I were to meet Mr Manilow would be similar to Mark Chapman's claim to fame relating to John Lennon. To quote the great Bazza once more, there'd be "blood and a single gunshot". Well, maybe not a single gunshot.... I clearly have unresolved issues here that I was unaware of until about 1/2 hour ago. Crikey.

Happy Birthday The Four Horsemen! Erm, seriously, this picture came up on Google images after I entered "happy birthday"+"four horsemen", not entirely sure why but if Google says so, it must be appropriate....

You think that you've gone Off-Topic? You have much to learn, Grasshopper. I'd offer to teach some basics, but I imagine I'd get distracted part of the way through, if not before I even started. That's how you do it!

Was that before, during or after the show was filmed? (silence) Moving on; to keep talking wank (I find this quite easy), wasn't there once an episode where both contestants actually gave the word 'w*nker' as their answer and got their 6 valuable points for it? So you could say they both pulled it off..... What a very picky swear filter we have here.