Godot

I've just read Gone Girl that seems to be the book of the moment in reading groups, not that I belong to one. It's a compelling read, with a real monster of a woman, shame it has a pretty crap ending.

Cause so far unexplained.

I met James Herbert once at a do. We chatted about something but I can't remember what it was. I dare say I'd have been pissed since it would have been the 1990s. All I can recall from his books was somebody with a pair of gardening sheers lopping off the todger of someone else in a gym. Or was that some other book by some other author? I appreciate that as James Herbert anecdotes go, this one is piss poor.

FFS Syd I did it because I wasted precious minutes in a brain malfunction loop trying to work out what a hell Stick was, all of which could have been avoided by the judicious use of a few commas. It's not as if I chucked some abuse at you. Maybe I should have left it but then you'd be under the mistaken impression that no-one notices or cares about poorly worded posts. I'm a sensitive soul, me, and every misplaced comma is like a spear to the heart. Come back Syd and feel the luuurv. I'm sure you've not been deereegisteeered. Old posters never die, they just fade away........

Why couldn't he be called something like Gary or Reg? I'd quite like to see a Pope Gary.

Go on spoil yourself, take that motoring holiday in Russia.

Find a new use for that screen wash.

I had a look through this comment I made...2006?... surely not. I thought the other day about the aforementioned chap that lent me the book and as I recollected he had died about three years ago. It was a shock to realise that it was eight years. Tempus fugit. I've kept shtum for seven years, can't any more. The Germans lose in the end.

I've given up pancakes.

Pistorius investigation is not going well. Police say they're stumped.

Pertaining to Lardy's problem, I have a friend who has a houseboat and doesn't like the idea of the effluent pipe going straight in to the sea, as it does. So he drives to Tesco's about five miles away every time he needs a shit. No wonder they call it a convenience store.

Did you have a stethoscope glued to the TV DDT?

We've had a lot of debate about this over the years and I'm a lot happier about the rules these days. As I get older, there are more obit worthy people I know who are also getting older and frailer. I've missed one or two hits from not running them but, if I know them, well, it seems a shitty thing to stick them in the pool. It's a bit like being in a trench with a good mate on the front line and coveting his boots. You care about your mate, sure enough, but you can't stop thinking about those boots.* That said, I wouldn't mind if anyone deathlisted me. Come to think of it, I haven't been too clever lately! *See Kemmerich, All Quiet on the Western Front

Undootedly.

He seems amazingly resilient. I'd be surprised to see him go this year.

So pleased to see him on the list. He was very close to inclusion on my DDP entry.

Not at all bad. Has the potential to be a recording breaking list, this one. I'd like to have seen Ran Fiennes on there as he seems to have a wish to die with his boots on. His latest expedition could be the one to finish him off. But that's not a quibble, just a personal thought. It's a grand list. Well done!

Give 'em all guns.

I'm buggered if I know!

It's decided over a pint or eight tonight. Will there be a live webcam stream? Minute-by-minute livetweeting? A camera crew filming a documentary about the occasion? Send the crew home, I fucked the date up. It's tomorrow night. Ah, is that so? I was going to make a suggestion.

A Beano historian writes: the Beano did quite well under the Thatcher administrations. Milk was never an issue in Bash Street which did not go all PC and soft until after the Major years. Leo Baxendale, its creator, is getting on a bit and would make an excellent addition to the Deathlist.

I was surprised to find that Nigel Davenport, the actor, and Mike Winters, the less funny half of the even less funny duo, Mike and Bernie Winters, would have been unique picks in this year's DDP. They're both getting on a bit.

Since this remains a deadpool way beyond my understanding I shall enter a team today as soon as I've finished my soup. Most impressed that RA has threadified it. Amazing what you can do on the web.

Dance Gangnam style.