Dr. Zorders

I forgot two others. When you hear a bit of thunder overhead and you think "Great, we're gonna get a huge storm here" then it pisses off very quickly and you just end up with a bunch of rain. (I love thunder/lightning). Not having enough money to buy all the vodka I want. Ok that's enough ranting I think.

I wonder what that manager was like. A Bavarian aristocrat....... typical of the kind of whacky things we hear about from the 60s. I was thinking perhaps it a Brian Epstein-type thing where he managed them because he fancies the piss out of the lead singer?

Have you tried enduring the, er... "banter" between Richard Osman and Alexander Armstrong on Pointless? Come back and try and tell me you're a hard case after that. (Don't worry I'll have some tissues ready for you.) Richard and Alexander are tea-time gods and should not be dissed. Speak quietly you never know who might be listening. Oh come on you don't even find Osman just a little bit cheesy? I mean I realise he kind of "knows" he's being cheesy in a way but it's still incredibly annoying. I know you like Eurovision so you either have a massive resistance/tolerance to cheese or an outright fetish for it. Whatever..... Yes they know they are being cheesy but they are also being very slightly (in a BBC sort of way) subversive. Watching AA trying to keep a straight face when a contestant gives a really stupid answer is just priceless. I do have a high tolerance for a lot of things but there are somethings that I have a very low tolerance for: Jazz Jack Nicolson Jim Davison The X Factor Ricky Gervais Holly Willoughby Catchphrase Ridley Scott Films There are probably more but I do not want to vent my bile at lunchtime. For me it's The crap F1 commentators talk The crap football commentators talk The crap Richard Osman talks The crap BBC journalists talk when trying to sound funny by inserting little bits of dry "humour" in their reports (and just their annoying plummy tone of voice) Question Time The crap that passes for music these days The crap that movie reviewers talk when trying to make Generic Comic Book Movie #45237 sound like a masterpiece. Leonardo DiCaprio People gawping at their phones like fucking zombies, in an everyday scene that proves that surely some kind of outright collapse of civilization on a scale that even the reality-hating retards on the TV will find undeniable is imminent within less than 30 months.... if not 30 weeks. Simon Cowell BBC3 Sky News Tony Scott films Guardian columnists People who think Ed Miliband isn't a robot Richard Hammond The Sky Sports F1 channel The absolute crap that F1 commentators talk (this had to be listed twice) The absolute crap that F1 commentators talk The absolute crap that F1 commentat Oh yeah whoops I forgot to add Mark Kermode

A few days ago Pete Doherty failed to show up to the opening of his own art exhibition in Spain - "paintings" which he has made with his own blood. He decided to stay in his hotel room instead - for 48 hours. http://www.theolivep...ibition-launch/ He's also working on a solo album. http://www.411mania....-In-Hamburg.htm

The Rolling Stones' long-serving former manager Prince Rupert Loewenstein has died aged 80. He managed them all the way from 1968-2007 apparently. http://www.mirror.co.uk/3am/celebrity-news/rolling-stones-legend-dies-prince-3584498

Have you tried enduring the, er... "banter" between Richard Osman and Alexander Armstrong on Pointless? Come back and try and tell me you're a hard case after that. (Don't worry I'll have some tissues ready for you.) Richard and Alexander are tea-time gods and should not be dissed. Speak quietly you never know who might be listening. Oh come on you don't even find Osman just a little bit cheesy? I mean I realise he kind of "knows" he's being cheesy in a way but it's still incredibly annoying. I know you like Eurovision so you either have a massive resistance/tolerance to cheese or an outright fetish for it. Whatever.....

He's clinging on like.............. er, cling film. Good for him.

That link didn't work for me but nevermind. Also apparently he made a joke towards the staff at a family planning clinic - "At least you're all legitimate"....... http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/uknews/theroyalfamily/10846574/Prince-Philip-tells-family-planning-clinic-staff-At-least-youre-legitimate.html Baffling.

Has a few famous clients apparently, sounds like Wayne Rooney's type Joking aside, if she's having fun and getting paid for it good luck to her I say I would have thought she was more like Stevie Wonder and David Blunkett's type...

Truly shocking story about how Fidders enjoyed a lavish lifestyle while everyone else in Cuba floundered in poverty. http://www.theguardian.com/world/2014/may/21/fidel-castro-lived-like-king-cuba

Funny how he named so many Gods there but not the one that's the center of the world's fastest growing religion. He's got some major balls that Gervais guy. He'll be saying it's stupid not to believe in evolution next!

Now Jack Brabham has gone surely it's time for his old pal Stirling Moss to go on the list next year?

Funny how we were sitting there, fairly reverentially mourning Brabham and now we're making fun of this fucker. It begs the question, would Ayrton Senna be as revered as he is among F1 fans if he had died in such a clearly visibly comical manner (which obviously, I know is harder to do sitting in a car than flying off a bike). I think the answer is quite possibly no. I mean imagine if..... (don't read this if you don't want an extremely silly theory about Ayrton Senna floating around in your head and prefer to remain entirely reverential of him and the events of that day in 1994): I think the answer then would be an even bigger no.

The so-called Lockerbie Bomber (but everyone knows he didn't really do it) Abdelbaset Al-Megrahi died on May 20 2012 from cancer. Also 1 year before that, American wrestler Randy Savage died of a heart attack while out driving with his wife. "Oooooh, noooooooo!"

"Wendy, I can fly!"

Fuckin' hell. He almost showed up on air traffic control.

^Or maybe it's just his weekly Maahjjong club or whatever.

Have you tried enduring the, er... "banter" between Richard Osman and Alexander Armstrong on Pointless? Come back and try and tell me you're a hard case after that. (Don't worry I'll have some tissues ready for you.)

How about this. Britain's oldest prostitute, 85 (and started at it when she was 81). According to the Mail anyway. And she's the grandmother of an X-factor contestant too or something. http://www.dailymail...ie-Wassiel.html I'll leave other people to make their remarks since I'm not sure where to start with this one. (Once again it's funny you just made this thread a few days ago Deathray, because I wouldn't have known where to post this otherwise.)

Most things are. *dodges heavy thrown objects*

Hahahaaaa... Brilliant but maybe it should just be called "Top Gits" with the subtitle "Middle Age Twats Going Too Fast For Their Own Good"

Er....... Bottom Gear? I dunno. How about just adding "(and the other two twats)" to the end?

Middle-aged bloke in beer-gut shock.DL post-whore in irrelevant post shock. Quite. Doesn't he have his own thread? If not, should this one be retitled to make it officially a Top Gear thread? I was gunna suggest that. A mod should rename this.

I heard he had a hard time on the set of The Godfather - he wanted to do all sorts of arty-farty, experimental camera angles, so Francis Ford Coppola could often be heard saying "Whatchu talkin' 'bout, Willis?"