Jump to content


Photo

7. Denis Norden


  • Please log in to reply
104 replies to this topic

#1 widnes14

widnes14

    Hatchet man

  • Members
  • PipPipPipPip
  • 31 posts

Posted 26 June 2005 - 08:07 PM

Hes been slowly dying and telling horrible jokes for years now... why isnt he on the list?

Or can i just not see well.... :D

The one who does ITLL BE ALRIGHT ON THE NIGHT

#2 Deadornot

Deadornot

    Executioner

  • Members
  • PipPipPipPipPipPipPipPip
  • 515 posts

Posted 27 June 2005 - 01:28 PM

dont mean to sound a know-it-all but you spell it Dennis NordEn

#3 Coatlicue

Coatlicue

    Morbid interest

  • Members
  • PipPipPip
  • 9 posts

Posted 13 April 2006 - 10:02 AM

I'm hearing reports that the man with the clipboard has chuckled his last... Any evidence, anyone?

#4 Lady Die

Lady Die

    I have no life

  • Members
  • PipPipPipPipPipPipPipPipPipPipPipPipPipPip
  • 2651 posts

Posted 13 April 2006 - 10:10 AM

Nothing showed up on Google. Never mind, I'm sure it'll be all right on the night.

I saw him with his wife in Sainsburys in Leatherhead a few years ago - what a miserable pair. Neither of them managed to crack a smile.
There were three of us in the morgue so it was rather crowded

#5 Coatlicue

Coatlicue

    Morbid interest

  • Members
  • PipPipPip
  • 9 posts

Posted 13 April 2006 - 10:18 AM

A colleague of mine saw him sheepishly emerging from a sex shop on Goodge Street. With a bag full of loot. Of course, he took a picture with his camera phone.

#6 Lady Die

Lady Die

    I have no life

  • Members
  • PipPipPipPipPipPipPipPipPipPipPipPipPipPip
  • 2651 posts

Posted 13 April 2006 - 10:20 AM

A colleague of mine saw him sheepishly emerging from a sex shop on Goodge Street. With a bag full of loot. Of course, he took a picture with his camera phone.

Where are you getting the rumour of his demise?
There were three of us in the morgue so it was rather crowded

#7 Lady Die

Lady Die

    I have no life

  • Members
  • PipPipPipPipPipPipPipPipPipPipPipPipPipPip
  • 2651 posts

Posted 13 April 2006 - 10:23 AM

According to this website


Archaic TV Presenter Dennis Norden has finally laid to rest the rumour that he has been laid to rest. Norden, who is best known for presenting the endless repeats of It'll Be Alright On The Night, vehemently denied he died of a heart attack 10 years ago.

"For the last F*****g time, I am not dead." he scowled, in an exclusive interview with Crunt.

"And for your information Those Alright on The Night repeats are not repeats, I've been making new ones for the past 10 years!" he added.

He angrily declined to comment when questioned on his opinion of Neil Morrissey on TV's Naughtiest Blunders.
There were three of us in the morgue so it was rather crowded

#8 Cowboy Ronnie

Cowboy Ronnie

    I Need To Get A Life!

  • Members
  • PipPipPipPipPipPipPipPipPipPipPipPip
  • 1994 posts

Posted 13 April 2006 - 10:56 AM

A colleague of mine saw him sheepishly emerging from a sex shop on Goodge Street. With a bag full of loot. Of course, he took a picture with his camera phone.


Really?! We don't believe you. Did your friend thoughtfully text said picture to you, and if so could you e-mail it in to the site.

#9 Vinegar Tits

Vinegar Tits

    Assassin

  • Members
  • PipPipPipPipPipPipPipPipPip
  • 819 posts

Posted 13 April 2006 - 12:15 PM

That well-known bastion of accuracy Popbitch is also reporting his demise. However, it's quite possible that whoever posted the 'news' originally read it on here...

Until it's on t'Beeb website I ain't believing it :shoot:

***party0024.gif WINNER OF THE DEATHLIST.NET JADE GOODY SWEEPSTAKE party0024.gif***


...and also the Popbitch 2009/2010/2013/2016 deadpool...

Main DDP team:Madonna's Hand Of Bod (2016: 10/20) - Sheila Mercier | Jimmy Carter | Leah Bracknell | Greg Gilbert | Vera Lynn | Colin Meads | Prunella Scales | Gord Downie | Bruce Forsyth | Liz Dawn | Mary Tyler Moore | Katie Boyle | Emma Morano | Bessie Camm | Peter Sallis | Glen Campbell | Tony Booth | Yisrael Kristal | Jill Gascoigne | Sinead O'Connor

Personal DDP team:Are You Still Dying Darling (2016: 5/20) - Ken Bates | Carol McGiffin | Bessie Camm | Emma Morano | Gay Byrne | Peter Skellern | Leah Bracknell | Bruce Forsyth | John Noakes | Stan Lee | Terry Jones | Gord Downie | Leslie Phillips | Sean Connery | Billy Graham | Pete Murray | Desmond Tutu | Shannen Doherty | Leonard Fenton | Carol Channing


#10 football_fan

football_fan

    I have no life

  • Members
  • PipPipPipPipPipPipPipPipPipPipPipPipPipPip
  • 2617 posts

Posted 13 April 2006 - 12:22 PM

According to this website


Archaic TV Presenter Dennis Norden has finally laid to rest the rumour that he has been laid to rest. Norden, who is best known for presenting the endless repeats of It'll Be Alright On The Night, vehemently denied he died of a heart attack 10 years ago.

"For the last F*****g time, I am not dead." he scowled, in an exclusive interview with Crunt.

"And for your information Those Alright on The Night repeats are not repeats, I've been making new ones for the past 10 years!" he added.

He angrily declined to comment when questioned on his opinion of Neil Morrissey on TV's Naughtiest Blunders.

That story was from May 1st, 2005. There is still no report of his death anywhere though.
"A jury consists of twelve people who determine which client has the better lawyer". <br />- Robert Frost

#11 Lady Die

Lady Die

    I have no life

  • Members
  • PipPipPipPipPipPipPipPipPipPipPipPipPipPip
  • 2651 posts

Posted 13 April 2006 - 12:28 PM

That story was from May 1st, 2005. There is still no report of his death anywhere though.

I know it's an old story but I thought it was mildly amusing.
There were three of us in the morgue so it was rather crowded

#12 Guest_Shuffler_*

Guest_Shuffler_*
  • Guests

Posted 13 April 2006 - 01:14 PM

Now confirmed by article in yesterday's Rochdale Observer. If you look closely, you'll see that it contains the words "Norden... lost... to... world". I don't need anymore proof than that! Beats Wiki!

#13 The Four Horsemen

The Four Horsemen

    Assassin

  • Members
  • PipPipPipPipPipPipPipPipPip
  • 985 posts

Posted 14 April 2006 - 11:00 AM

There was an "article" in the Mirror a few years back hinting that Denis Norden frequents brothels and gets his action from prostitutes - can't be good for his heart at his age, surely?
It is surely better to be pissed off than pissed on

#14 Tuber Mirum

Tuber Mirum

    Relic of the Golden Age

  • Moderators
  • PipPipPipPipPipPipPipPipPipPipPipPipPipPipPip
  • 3199 posts

Posted 14 April 2006 - 12:30 PM

There was an "article" in the Mirror a few years back hinting that Denis Norden frequents brothels and gets his action from prostitutes - can't be good for his heart at his age, surely?

Aha, the Tabloid Press!

Perverters of public opinion and peddlers of evil shite™ since time immemorial.

You'd be better off believing what you read on deathlist.net. :unsure:

#15 Brinsworth House Baiter

Brinsworth House Baiter

    Assassin

  • Members
  • PipPipPipPipPipPipPipPipPip
  • 977 posts

Posted 18 April 2006 - 07:13 AM

A colleague of mine saw him sheepishly emerging from a sex shop on Goodge Street. With a bag full of loot. Of course, he took a picture with his camera phone.


I'm confused. A bag full of loot?

Loot's money, right? He'd just held the place up? Did your colleague take the picture to the police so they can prosecute the old burgling bastard?

No, hang on, Loot's a magazine as well, isn't it? Loot magazine? I'm sure I've heard of it, but I wasn't under the impression that it was magazine stuffed full of tits n'arse.

In which case I shall have to keep a surreptitious eye open and also grab myself a bag full of loot.

But unlike Norden I shan't be embarking on said mission with a handgun and a stocking over my head.

Allegedly.
I am the crow king!

I can do anything!

Any Editors Out There? Gissa B-Job... www.pitcherthis.co.uk

Please.

I've just noticed the cunning moderation of my above signature. I'd like to thank the rogue moderator responsible and also add- prospective editors, please note that a B-Job would go down just as well as a proper one. Quite possibly even more so.

#16 Boleyn

Boleyn

    Sniper

  • Members
  • PipPipPipPipPip
  • 88 posts

Posted 02 March 2009 - 08:29 PM

Is there any recent news on his condition?
He has looked about 100 years old for decades yet keeps poppin out these blooper programmes.
He's a pick on my DDP team and i chose him every year, sort of like my own personal Clive Dunn.

Theres no real reason not to replace him but my list would feel empty without him.

#17 thefunkyfaz

thefunkyfaz

    Shipman

  • Members
  • PipPipPipPipPipPipPip
  • 307 posts

Posted 09 March 2009 - 01:59 PM

I had a dream about him some years ago...in the dream I could hear the song "Denis Denis" by Blondie, and there were lots of images of the great man smiling and holding his clipboard. Then the music stopped abruptly and Peter Sissons appeared behind a newsdesk and uttered the words "Denis Norden, who died today."

Shame Sissons is seldom on the news today, it would be quite something to see Denis Norden's demise reported thusly...

The Funky Faz's Morgue of Merriment (2014 Joint 31st-46pts) DDP2015 Sam Simon joker.gif, Alwen Hughes, Rev Billy Graham, Clive James, Denis Healey, Denis Norden, Elizabeth Dawn, Henry Kissinger, Jimmy Hill, Kenneth Cope, Liz Smith, Paul Gascoigne, Peter Sallis, Peter Sutcliffe, Richard Davies, Shimon Peres, Timothy Dudley-Smith, Val Doonican, Zara Nutley, Zsa Zsa Gabor
The Funky Faz's Crypt of Chortles (2014 Joint 248th-17pts) DDP2015 Richard Bakerjoker.gif, Ayatollah Ali Khameini, Bill Maynard, Brian Cant, Burt Kwouk, Dick Van Dyke, George H W Bush, Jimmy Carter, Joni Mitchell, Kirk Douglas, Leonard Nimoy, Leslie Phillips, Nancy Reagan, Patrick Macnee, Redvers Kyle, Robert Mugabe, Shaw Taylor, Stanley Baxter, Tony Britton, Warren Mitchell.

The Funky Faz's Wormfood Bingo 2015 Bill Maynard, Rev Billy Graham, Clive James,  Denis Healey , Denis Norden,  Patrick Macnee , Paul Gascoigne, Peter Sallis, Peter Sutcliffe, Richard  Baker, Val Doonican, Warren Mitchell 

"You've all done very well!"


#18 DevonDeathTrip

DevonDeathTrip

    Tractor Eater

  • Moderators
  • PipPipPipPipPipPipPipPipPipPipPipPipPipPipPipPip
  • 4560 posts

Posted 21 August 2009 - 07:16 AM

TV Legend Denis Norden was rushed to hospital yesterday after falling seriously ill at home.

They may beg, they may plead, they may argue with my logic

And mention all the things I'll lose that really have no value

In the end they will surely know, I wasn't born to follow

 

 


#19 Octopus of Odstock

Octopus of Odstock

    Post twunt

  • Members
  • PipPipPipPipPipPipPipPipPipPipPipPipPipPipPip
  • 3844 posts

Posted 21 August 2009 - 03:57 PM

TV Legend Denis Norden was rushed to hospital yesterday after falling seriously ill at home.


Well, actually, it was a routine check-up & Norden says he is "fit as a flea"....

#20 themaninblack

themaninblack

    Pun Plunderer

  • Members
  • PipPipPipPipPipPipPipPipPipPipPipPipPipPipPipPipPipPipPip
  • 7464 posts

Posted 21 August 2009 - 11:12 PM

TV Legend Denis Norden was rushed to hospital yesterday after falling seriously ill at home.


Well, actually, it was a routine check-up & Norden says he is "fit as a flea"....


That means he'll be dead tomorrow...

"I must have killed more men than Cecil B. DeMille."

Gene Wilder (1933-2016) as "the Waco Kid", Blazing Saddles (1974)





0 user(s) are reading this topic

0 members, 0 guests, 0 anonymous users