lastorders 15 Posted September 15, 2011 Ahm...Gordon Ramsey's, dwarf, porn-star, look-a-like has been found dead in a badger den in South Wales... - didn't know one existed, however not surprised that one does, rule 34 and all that. Wrong place, wrong time. It could happen to anyone. So basically this dwarf porn star (who happens to be Gordon Ramsey's mini stunt double) hid in a badger's den anticipating a gassing by the Ministry. You couldn't make it up!! Unless you are some sleezy gin soaked hack working for the Sunday Sport Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Body Snatcher 44 107 Posted September 16, 2011 Ahm...Gordon Ramsey's, dwarf, porn-star, look-a-like has been found dead in a badger den in South Wales... - didn't know one existed, however not surprised that one does, rule 34 and all that. Wrong place, wrong time. It could happen to anyone. So basically this dwarf porn star (who happens to be Gordon Ramsey's mini stunt double) hid in a badger's den anticipating a gassing by the Ministry. You couldn't make it up!! Unless you are some sleezy gin soaked hack working for the Sunday Sport Forgive my ignorance but what is this Sunday Sport of which you type? did the Heraldsun get something wrong? Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Godot 149 Posted September 16, 2011 Ahm...Gordon Ramsey's, dwarf, porn-star, look-a-like has been found dead in a badger den in South Wales... - didn't know one existed, however not surprised that one does, rule 34 and all that. Wrong place, wrong time. It could happen to anyone. So basically this dwarf porn star (who happens to be Gordon Ramsey's mini stunt double) hid in a badger's den anticipating a gassing by the Ministry. You couldn't make it up!! Unless you are some sleezy gin soaked hack working for the Sunday Sport Forgive my ignorance but what is this Sunday Sport of which you type? did the Heraldsun get something wrong? I think the suggestion is that because the story sources the Sunday Sun (is this a first?) there may be elements of it (i.e all of it) that may not be true. But does this matter and what is truth after all? It's a truth universally acknowledged that dwarfs should not enter badger sets when it's gassing time. The Gordon Ramsay likeness may be an irrelevance. But lets not stray too far from the facts (or the facts as they are presented here). The story doesn't say the dwarf was Ramsay's stunt double but that he was a porn star lookalike of Ramsay. I assume this means he earned his crust making porn films where he played a Gordon Ramsay character (is the cook fuck a popular porn genre?). Beyond the whole story, a few other details don't quite stack up. How did Ministry of Agriculture officials get in to the badgers' set? Were they dwarfs too? And why would anyone want to buy a diamond-encrusted soda stream? If one exists (which I doubt) I would be very surprised if it was encrusted with genuine diamonds. A good sub editor should pick up this stuff. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Godot 149 Posted September 16, 2011 Looks like there have been developments. Some reports now are saying the Gordon Ramsay lookalike porn star dwarf was found partially eaten. But some commentators remain cynical.. The picture of the "incident" tent just doesn't ring true. Are we really to believe that the ministry would be equipped with a mini incident tent to be deployed only for the discovery of dwarfs and/or badgers? Also, to my knowledge the gassing programme has yet to be approved. I suspect this is just another one of those time-wasting Elvis on the Moon stories. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Godot 149 Posted September 16, 2011 I stand corrected. The Hollywood Gossip web site assures us it's a real story. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
One shot Paddy 1,206 Posted September 16, 2011 I think he was murdered by badger hunt supporters to help get the gassing approved! Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Godot 149 Posted September 16, 2011 I think he was murdered by badger hunt supporters to help get the gassing approved! Sounds plausible on the face of it, but you must ask yourself: is it in the interest of badger hunters to have badger gassing approved? Surely that would ruin their "sport". If this Gordon Ramsay look alike (if indeed he exists) was found dead in a badger set, it's quite possible there was no connection with badgers other than they can create holes in fields large enough to stuff the body of a dwarf. Did Mr Foster crawl in to the hole or was his body placed there? Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
lastorders 15 Posted September 16, 2011 I think he was murdered by badger hunt supporters to help get the gassing approved! Sounds plausible on the face of it, but you must ask yourself: is it in the interest of badger hunters to have badger gassing approved? Surely that would ruin their "sport". If this Gordon Ramsay look alike (if indeed he exists) was found dead in a badger set, it's quite possible there was no connection with badgers other than they can create holes in fields large enough to stuff the body of a dwarf. Did Mr Foster crawl in to the hole or was his body placed there? Hang on... who on earth buys, rents or downloads a porn movie with a dwarf lookylikey Gordon Ramsay as the star? Does he say "oh for fucks sake!" all the way through it? Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Godot 149 Posted September 17, 2011 I think he was murdered by badger hunt supporters to help get the gassing approved! Sounds plausible on the face of it, but you must ask yourself: is it in the interest of badger hunters to have badger gassing approved? Surely that would ruin their "sport". If this Gordon Ramsay look alike (if indeed he exists) was found dead in a badger set, it's quite possible there was no connection with badgers other than they can create holes in fields large enough to stuff the body of a dwarf. Did Mr Foster crawl in to the hole or was his body placed there? Hang on... who on earth buys, rents or downloads a porn movie with a dwarf lookylikey Gordon Ramsay as the star? Does he say "oh for fucks sake!" all the way through it? A long time ago I went to a sex show in Hamburg with the city's chief of police and one thing I remember about it was a dwarf on stage with a long wooden spoon, so there must be a market for that kind of thing. The dwarf, I should say, looked nothing like Gordon Ramsay although he did have a passing resemblance to Eurotrash presenter Antoine de Caunes. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Magere Hein 1,400 Posted September 17, 2011 A long time ago I went to a sex show in Hamburg with the city's chief of police[...] The things one does for, ehrm, what exactly? regards, Hein Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Godot 149 Posted September 17, 2011 A long time ago I went to a sex show in Hamburg with the city's chief of police[...] The things one does for, ehrm, what exactly? regards, Hein Work. All on expenses. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
VSBfromH 74 Posted September 20, 2011 Man dies after dumpling-eating contest If you're that way inclined, on the same page you can also check out the link "Woman eats 183 chicken wings in 12 minutes". I honestly didn't realise there was something called "Major League Eating". Only in the good ol' U.S. of A.! Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
themaninblack 2,112 Posted September 20, 2011 Man dies after dumpling-eating contest If you're that way inclined, on the same page you can also check out the link "Woman eats 183 chicken wings in 12 minutes". I honestly didn't realise there was something called "Major League Eating". Only in the good ol' U.S. of A.! Canny DDP participants may find out who the superstars of speed eating competitions are and maybe have a punt... Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
VSBfromH 74 Posted September 20, 2011 Man dies after dumpling-eating contest If you're that way inclined, on the same page you can also check out the link "Woman eats 183 chicken wings in 12 minutes". I honestly didn't realise there was something called "Major League Eating". Only in the good ol' U.S. of A.! Canny DDP participants may find out who the superstars of speed eating competitions are and maybe have a punt... I've checked out the photos of the 4 main protagonists, Takeru Kobayashi, Joey "Jaws" Chestnut, Sonya Thomas (a.k.a. "The Black Widow"), and Patrick "Deep Dish" Bertoletti, and surprisingly they all look quite young, trim and healthy. From Thomas's Wikipedia page: "To stay in shape, Thomas has one big meal a day, with lots of green vegetables and fresh fruit, and always avoids junk food. She exercises by walking on an inclined treadmill for two hours, five times per week. She also regularly visits all-you-can-eat buffets at restaurants. The night before a contest, she fasts all night in order to put an edge on her appetite." Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Grim Up North 3,727 Posted September 20, 2011 Man dies after dumpling-eating contest If you're that way inclined, on the same page you can also check out the link "Woman eats 183 chicken wings in 12 minutes". I honestly didn't realise there was something called "Major League Eating". Only in the good ol' U.S. of A.! Canny DDP participants may find out who the superstars of speed eating competitions are and maybe have a punt... I've checked out the photos of the 4 main protagonists, Takeru Kobayashi, Joey "Jaws" Chestnut, Sonya Thomas (a.k.a. "The Black Widow"), and Patrick "Deep Dish" Bertoletti, and surprisingly they all look quite young, trim and healthy. From Thomas's Wikipedia page: "To stay in shape, Thomas has one big meal a day, with lots of green vegetables and fresh fruit, and always avoids junk food. She exercises by walking on an inclined treadmill for two hours, five times per week. She also regularly visits all-you-can-eat buffets at restaurants. The night before a contest, she fasts all night in order to put an edge on her appetite." What shape is she trying to stay in? My guess would be 'Pear' shape Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
RIP Wee Jum 1,559 Posted September 20, 2011 Man dies after dumpling-eating contest If you're that way inclined, on the same page you can also check out the link "Woman eats 183 chicken wings in 12 minutes". I honestly didn't realise there was something called "Major League Eating". Only in the good ol' U.S. of A.! I sat and watched the "World Hot Dog Eating Championships" Live from New York Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Grim Up North 3,727 Posted September 23, 2011 (edited) Spontaneous Combustion Call me a cynic (actually don't because that wouldn't be funny at all) but it seems more than a coincidence that nearly all cases of 'Spontaneous' combustion occur beside a fire? Edited September 23, 2011 by Magere Hein Link fixed Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Lard Bazaar 3,800 Posted September 23, 2011 Spontaneous Combustion Call me a cynic (actually don't because that wouldn't be funny at all) but it seems more than a coincidence that nearly all cases of 'Spontaneous' combustion occur beside a fire? It's obvious what has happened here, he has simply let rip a particularly obnoxious fart in a pair of polyester underpants, thus leaving no sign of the eggy accelerant. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Windsor 2,233 Posted September 23, 2011 Spontaneous Combustion Call me a cynic (actually don't because that wouldn't be funny at all) but it seems more than a coincidence that nearly all cases of 'Spontaneous' combustion occur beside a fire? It's obvious what has happened here, he has simply let rip a particularly obnoxious fart in a pair of polyester underpants, thus leaving no sign of the eggy accelerant. Citing an episode of South Park, known for its scientific merit, the cause of spontaneous combustion is the complete opposite - holding in one's farts until the mounting pressure becomes too much. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
maryportfuncity 10,658 Posted September 26, 2011 To be fair, the Telegraph has given this a balanced consideration. A genuine enigma because it's obvious from this story that a range of checks were made and the coroner only ruled SHC on the basis that the other obvious causes were excluded. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Davey Jones' Locker 1,324 Posted September 28, 2011 A famous St Louis sculptor has died after flipping the bulldozer he was driving down a hill: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bob_Cassilly Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
time 8,626 Posted September 28, 2011 Nearly... Brings tears to the eyes. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Grim Up North 3,727 Posted September 28, 2011 Nearly... Brings tears to the eyes. From article "I went downstairs and got a Stanley knife out of my toolbox and just started hacking away. The pain was unbelievable. "It only took a couple of minutes of cutting before I quickly sobered up..." Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Phantom 2,536 Posted September 28, 2011 Ahm...Gordon Ramsey's, dwarf, porn-star, look-a-like has been found dead in a badger den in South Wales... - didn't know one existed, however not surprised that one does, rule 34 and all that. You didn't know that there was a badger den in South Wales or that there was a dwarf porn look-a-like of Gordon Ramsey? Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Body Snatcher 44 107 Posted September 29, 2011 Ahm...Gordon Ramsey's, dwarf, porn-star, look-a-like has been found dead in a badger den in South Wales... - didn't know one existed, however not surprised that one does, rule 34 and all that. You didn't know that there was a badger den in South Wales or that there was a dwarf porn look-a-like of Gordon Ramsey? It was definitely the dwarf porn star - as for the badger den in South Wales, having never been to South Wales, I can't speak one way or the other. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
