Funeral Directors

[BrunoBrimley 83]

Okay, I was sitting here waiting on the UPS guy and it occured to me that some years ago on a similar sort of evening I found myself waiting. Back then though I was waitng for my latest romantic interlude who happened to be the owner and die-rector of a funeral parlor.

 

 

Now while sitting here trying to decide whether to eat the side of beef or a few pears I got to wondering if any of you fine folks around here were ever involved in a romantic way with someone in the funeral or burial industry?

 

It could be anything from one simple date to all out matrimony.

 

Come on folks open up and give the gory details........

[Tempus Fugit 212]

Okay, I was sitting here waiting on the UPS guy

UPS?

 

Unnatural Personal Services?

[Captain Oates 21]

Not me, but my granny was romantically involved with (married to) someone (my grandfather) who made a bit of extra cash from the funeral business. He was a hospital chaplain, eyeing up potential clients on four days a week, and he freelanced wth the undertakers on his day off.

 

As a small child I remember sitting at family meal-times listening to a resumé of his day at the crem. Of course, at that age I thought every family was the same and "funerals" was just another game that I played with my brother.

 

Could that be the reason ......... er ?

[Lady Die 63]

I've never had any kind of relationship with anyone in the funeral business but at one time I seriously wanted to be a funeral director.

 

Just think of the benefits - it's a "caring" profession, they make plenty of money (charging over £1000 for a basic funeral) and there's always a steady stream of customers. I think I might even consider a career change ... it's never to late. I wear black quite a lot so I reckon I'm perfect for the job. I'd have to keep my DL membership a secret from the Institute of Funeral Directors though - they might be upset by it.

[Canadian Paul 93]

I took a Thanatology class my Senior Year of High School and one of our projects involved interviewing a funeral director. The guy I interviewed had a family that had been in the business for some ridiculous amount of generations, like 10 or so, and lived above the funeral home itself. He was encouraging his sons not to continue in the business for various reasons too, muttering about this or that.

 

Had a fabulous kitchen right above the mortuary. Coincidence? I think not.

[BrunoBrimley 83]

As long as the kitchen wasn't over the crematorium.....smoked flesh doesn't work well for the cheeze fondue.

[Goodnight Vienna 2]

I was once at an aunts funeral... I couldnt actually go inside the church as knowing me it might have fell on my head.... anyways I got chatting to the guys who carried the coffin, drove the hearse outside.... do you know they were some of the most funniest (ha-ha not peculiar) people I have ever met, a sense of humour is always a plus, but these guys were born comedians!

 

They did a good funeral.... not something the chuckle brothers might of done.

 

I often wonder if all Funeral Directors have this sense of humour just to keep them going??

 

 

 

VIENNA

xxxx

[MizzJacktheCat 0]

My neighbour is an undertaker and regularly bodies lie in his van overnight in our street rather than him taking them back to the mortuary. He is also the most boring man alive.

[BrunoBrimley 83]

My neighbour is an undertaker and regularly bodies lie in his van overnight in our street rather than him taking them back to the mortuary. He is also the most boring man alive.

Sounds like you'd like to do the coffin cha-cha with him....

[Canadian Paul 93]

I often wonder if all Funeral Directors have this sense of humour just to keep them going??

The one I interviewed sort of tried, but you could tell he really didn't have much of a sense of humour.

[BrunoBrimley 83]

Sort of makes you want to cry in your bier

[Guest Guest]

I dated a guy who's father was a mortician, only for a couple of weeks tho. He was kinda creepy. He said he was expected to take over the business once dad retired, but at the time, he was running drugs from Florida to Ohio. He actually wanted me to be a runner for him... umm.. no thanks.. I like my freedom thank you!

 

He would tell me creepy stories, and had some VERY nice jewelry that he had taken from people... something in my head said RUN!!

 

The funeral home is still in operation in my home town, but I don't know if he's running it yet or still his father.

[Paul Bearer 5,612]

I dated a guy who's father was a mortician, only for a couple of weeks tho. He was kinda creepy. He said he was expected to take over the business once dad retired, but at the time, he was running drugs from Florida to Ohio. He actually wanted me to be a runner for him... umm.. no thanks.. I like my freedom thank you!

 

He would tell me creepy stories, and had some VERY nice jewelry that he had taken from people... something in my head said RUN!!

 

The funeral home is still in operation in my home town, but I don't know if he's running it yet or still his father.

I wonder if they talk to themselves as well

[BrunoBrimley 83]

I wonder if they talk to themselves as well

Doesnt everyone?

[Guest Femicas]

On behalf of FD's... We're not all creepy jewlery theifs... and we're fun to date! lol

[Harvester Of Souls 40]

On behalf of FD's... We're not all creepy jewlery theifs... and we're fun to date! lol

Which date would that be?

 

13th September 1973?

[Josco 48]

On behalf of FD's... We're not all creepy jewlery theifs... and we're fun to date! lol

Which date would that be?

 

13th September 1973?

This has got to be the most boring date in history. I have scoured Google for something interesting............

 

QUEEN live at Golders Green

[Guest Guest]

A good undertaker is never short of a decent pair of shoes either...

[The Four Horsemen 25]

A good undertaker is never short of a decent pair of shoes either...

Must be something to do with dead people being relieved of their soles.......

[Slave to the Grave 22]

A good undertaker is never short of a decent pair of shoes either...

Or dentures.

[maryportfuncity 9,983]

As an aside here Augusten Burroughs excellent book Dry - in which he talks about how he stopped worrying about his alcoholism once he became a coke-head - includes loads about his funeral director mate who stood by him throughout. The FD

comes over as a really decent guy.

[YoungWillz 18,935]

I was recently thinking about that scene in Prick Up Your Ears re Joe Orton's mum's funeral. Turns out it wasn't anyone at the funeral but a builder en route.

 

I'm surprised there are not more liaisons - they are strong, silent and attentive and you are at your most vulnerable. Yet outside of actual funerals, I've never met a person who worked at a funeral directors.

 

Anyway, thought I'd pen a few thoughts, and re-air this long-forgotten thread for our newer readers. If they have any input....

[Toast 14,792]

12 hours ago, YoungWillz said:

I'm surprised there are not more liaisons - they are strong, silent and attentive and you are at your most vulnerable.

 

 

ISTR reading about such an occurrence, where the relative of a murder victim dumped her husband and family to run off with the funeral director.

A high-profile case not too long ago.