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The Reaper needs a Kohlostomy.

SC

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How about 'Getting Kohlder by the minute'

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Helmut Kohl is dead

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Helmut Kohl is dead

When it does happen they can re-unite and shoot a video like this.

SC

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Kohl on the fire?

it'll be Kohl if you removed my warning points should be the title

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link?

oh no I didn't mean he was actually dead. I was just suggesting 'Helmut Kohl is dead' as a title when he does die. Keep it simple

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Last weekend, a prominent german online site accidentally declared him dead for two minutes:

 

http://www.gala.de/stars/news/starfeed/falschmeldung-helmut-kohl-angeblich-gestorben_1283204.html(link in german)

 

In more relevant news, he has been transferred from intensive care to the cardiology station:

 

http://www.focus.de/politik/deutschland/klinik-aufenthalt-seit-zehn-wochen-sorge-um-den-kanzler-der-einheit-kohl-plagen-jetzt-auch-herz-probleme_id_4813992.html(also a german link)

 

He's now been in hospital for 10 weeks. Obviously, the statement that he would be going on a holiday was wrong (a very long holiday without return?). The article also mentions that he was doing a bit better for a couple of days during which he received a visit from former president Roman Herzog. His wife has been sleeping in the hospital all this time.

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Some more official news, again in german, I'm afraid:

 

http://www.spiegel.de/politik/deutschland/helmut-kohl-gesundheitszustand-ernst-a-1043841.html

 

They say he is "responsive but in a serious state." "After the first operation, successive medical treatment was necessary."

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Feels like this year's Kalashnikov, could very well finally just go "fuck it" in late December like Mikhail did.

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How about 'Getting Kohlder by the minute'

Stone Kohld?

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Well... this is awkward. Everyone predicted a June death date. This was one of the biggest "teases" of 2015, one of the others being Martin Crowe saying that the World Cup will be the final match he watches.

 

Maybe we should re-do the sweepstakes?

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Well... this is awkward. Everyone predicted a June death date. This was one of the biggest "teases" of 2015, one of the others being Martin Crowe saying that the World Cup will be the final match he watches.

 

Maybe we should re-do the sweepstakes?

 

October 3rd, 2015. German Reunification Day.

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January 31, 2016.

 

Anniversary of Richard von Weizsacker's death.

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Well... this is awkward. Everyone predicted a June death date. This was one of the biggest "teases" of 2015, one of the others being Martin Crowe saying that the World Cup will be the final match he watches.

 

Maybe we should re-do the sweepstakes?

Leslie Phillips has also been a tease.Helmut up for the Kohl on September 19th

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I say he dies before I finish typing this respon.... oh never mind.
SC

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just for the hell of it i'm going to say today

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I am going to say 14th September because I am going to Germany on that day.

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I am going to say 14th September because I am going to Germany on that day.

 

 

should i be letting the police know you intend finishing him off?

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I just read a German article about how he's on the mend.

 

Well, shit.

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Ok, joke aside, they say it was a constant up and down, but now he's stable enough to go home. His initial hip surgery led to complications which required more surgery, including bowel surgery.

 

The final sentences are curious. "The doctors fought for weeks to get him to leave the hospital alive. Considering the circumstances, he's doing ok. But he's not healthy". It sounds a bit as if he wants to die at home. I guess they were surprised that he was in a worse general shape than they (and he himself) expected. They didn't expect that the initial hip surgery could go so bad. Who knows, maybe he doesn't even want to leave home during the next health crisis.

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