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Guest Paul Acworth

Reg Varney -On The Buses & Jack Smethurst Love Thy

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Minipops!

That was bloody brilliant, but very very wrong.

I went out with the (now grown) boy who did Elvis and Shakin Stevens (so he told me) a few years ago. He looked like a better built Darius Danesh then, but unless he's off the vodka and gak, I suspect he resembles Pete Doherty these days.


No matter how hard I try I just can't wrestle down what sounds so wrong with this post.

Bou bothering alcoholic junkie Minipops, Bou favouring quiffy types as boyfriends or the fact that said quiffy types looked like steroid taking Pop Idol rejects.

Perhaps a poll is the answer?

biggrin.png

I'm more concerned that Handrejka admitted to Morris Dancing, quite frankly. biggrin.png

Minipops, jesus. Did anyone see 'The Day Today' episode when they showed spoof clips of old programmes; one was '70's 'Them Next Door' (Love Thy Neighbour basically) and the other was '80's Channel 4 doing 'Kiddystare' which was clearly having a go at Minipops. Quality!

A can of worms indeed, I'd forgotten about Mixed Blessings but now I recall it was as bad as Mind Your Language but without the catchy 'ba ba baah, ba ba ba baah baah baah ba bah, ba ba baah dobee do waaaah, dooooh, do do do etc.' theme tune.

As for the worst overall, the Pooka's suggestion of Peter 'the cad' Bowles is pretty good, but I still plump for Davidson or Abbot. Davidson for being so unfunny on so many different levels combined with being a serial drink-driving wife-divorcing True Blue Thatcherite, or Abbot for also being terrible and introducing so many other talentless wankstains to our screens when there was only 4 channels to choose from.

Oh my God! Never The Twain! Why did that just pop into my head? Aaaaaaarrggh!

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Oh my God! What have I done! I'll have to put a stop to this thread once and for all before it gets out of control!!!

 

There's only one thing for it. Here goes:

 

TERRY AND JUNE

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Oh my God! What have I done! I'll have to put a stop to this thread once and for all before it gets out of control!!!

 

There's only one thing for it. Here goes:

 

TERRY AND JUNE

I'll see your Terry and June, and raise you SORRY!.

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Oh my God! What have I done! I'll have to put a stop to this thread once and for all before it gets out of control!!!

 

There's only one thing for it. Here goes:

 

TERRY AND JUNE

I'll see your Terry and June, and raise you SORRY!.

Language Timothy! Or was it funnier guessing whether Terry or June's deckchair would collapse in the opening credits, or maybe even the parasol on them both? Or did I just imagine it was different in different episodes? God I hope not.

 

Can of worms well & truly opened.

 

Oh, Doctor Beeching! Check and mate!

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Oh my God! What have I done! I'll have to put a stop to this thread once and for all before it gets out of control!!!

 

There's only one thing for it. Here goes:

 

TERRY AND JUNE

I'll see your Terry and June, and raise you SORRY!.

Language Timothy! Or was it funnier guessing whether Terry or June's deckchair would collapse in the opening credits, or maybe even the parasol on them both? Or did I just imagine it was different in different episodes? God I hope not.

 

Can of worms well & truly opened.

 

Oh, Doctor Beeching! Check and mate!

 

It's not over yet...anyone rememberThe Piglet Files?

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...snip...

 

It's not over yet...anyone rememberThe Piglet Files?

The Gaffer, anyone?

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...snip...

 

It's not over yet...anyone rememberThe Piglet Files?

The Gaffer, anyone?

I surrender! The Gaffer was that awful I only really remember the opening credits with loads of parking tickets on his car windscreen, but the Piglet Files I've just had to look up as only the name was familiar.

 

Now it comes trickling back, Nicholas Lyndhurst in a comedy spy programme, sounds worse than Goodnight Sweetheart!

 

Time for a nice milky cup of tea and a lie down for me.

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There are plenty of posters here who know what they're on about. On a rough rule of thumb checking over this thread we seem agreed that:

 

On The Buses really was that bad, and looks desperate now.

 

Love Thy Neighbour was pretty well performed and closer to the truth than people want to admit these days.

 

Or summat.

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Magic our Maurice!

 

What does this Naughton guy know about what makes good or bad TV anyway? I'd much rather take my cue from someone who knows what they're talking about

Never heard of 'Magic, our Maurice!', but further investigation shows that the show title 'briefly became a national catchphrase' accompanied with a double thumbs-up, no less. :P

 

palexandersquires must give the oddest film reviews I've ever read, mostly commenting about insignificant lines in the film or 'if that was me I'd have done this' all the way through, as well as Random Capitals For Anything Deemed Significant. My favourite line from the Juggernaut review: -

I liked Richard Harris in this role, I also liked it when he quoted when he was told about his next job being on an ocean liner, "Oh Good I would like a Holiday" does that mean then, if a bomb was planted in a Supermarket he would of said "oh good, I would like to buy some groceries first" I do not think so.
:D

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palexandersquires must give the oddest film reviews I've ever read, mostly commenting about insignificant lines in the film or 'if that was me I'd have done this' all the way through, as well as Random Capitals For Anything Deemed Significant. My favourite line from the Juggernaut review: -
I liked Richard Harris in this role, I also liked it when he quoted when he was told about his next job being on an ocean liner, "Oh Good I would like a Holiday" does that mean then, if a bomb was planted in a Supermarket he would of said "oh good, I would like to buy some groceries first" I do not think so.
:P

 

I spent a good half hour of my bosses money chuckling at his reviews. Hard to pick a favourite, although his Westworld was very nice

 

I found that girl nice on the film, that robot one, but she was only on short time love giving, I would of liked 2 hours with her not 10 minutes. that is the one in the cowboy sequence. I also would not of liked that mead evil girl slapping me, like she slapped that king.

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Jane Hall starts soon, way better bus based laughs than Reg and co ever offered are there for everyone.

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Ok. So we know real crap when we see it. But what about the undiscovered gems. Anyone remember 'Pardon My Genie'?

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Oh my God! What have I done! I'll have to put a stop to this thread once and for all before it gets out of control!!!

 

There's only one thing for it. Here goes:

 

TERRY AND JUNE

I'll see your Terry and June, and raise you SORRY!.

Language Timothy! Or was it funnier guessing whether Terry or June's deckchair would collapse in the opening credits, or maybe even the parasol on them both? Or did I just imagine it was different in different episodes? God I hope not.

 

Can of worms well & truly opened.

 

Oh, Doctor Beeching! Check and mate!

I think that I see a link between this and our friend twelvetrees,

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Ok. So we know real crap when we see it. But what about the undiscovered gems. Anyone remember 'Pardon My Genie'?
Just googled it and still not even the slightest jog to my memory, but I like the idea that the puntastically named 'Hal Adden' was the one to discover the genie. <_<

 

Not particularly a goodie, but the only obscure thing I can drag up this evening is 'Men of the World' from the early '90's starring John Simm & David Threlfall. I remember it was dreadful, but worryingly I best remember the theme tune went 'how can I hold my head high, avoiding the cracks in the pavement?' :o

 

 

Even in my role as a song lyric encyclopedia, that one still impresses me. Almost as good as me remembering Dennis Waterman singing 'We don't make love on Sundays' (she & I) on Pebble Mill when I was a kid, to finally find out through google (only this year) that it really was the name of one of his songs. I was beginning to worry that my mind had invented it, which I consider slightly worse than having remembered it in the first place.

 

Way off topic there, but in a life full of achievement and success it ranks right up there in the top...erm...one. :rolleyes:

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Pardon My Genie? What a man of taste and resource you are, mr Pooka. Hugh Paddick followed by Arthur White (aka David Jason's less successful brother), and written by Bob Block, of Rentghost fame (oo - Nadia Popov! Pity she morphed into Gail's mum on Corrie)). One of the few shows from childhood I can remember really well. Wonder if it would still look good - I always remembered Do Not Adjust Your Set fondly, and got the DVD; ok, but nowhere near as wonderful as memory would have it.

 

Obscure gems? Nightingales - David Threllfall, Robert Lindsay, James Ellis as night security guards. 'There ain't nobody here but us chickens', was that really a werewolf lurking in the building, and lots of Pinter goes sitcom dialogue. A short-lived gem, but now out on DVD... after recent experiences, a bit iffy about getting it unless it's another let-down. Then there's another Channel 4 show - 'Dream Stuffing'. Loved it, but mostly 'cos I was with someone who was really like the punk bird at that time, and it gave me a good excuse to laugh at her foibles under the guise of sit-com...

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Oh my God! What have I done! I'll have to put a stop to this thread once and for all before it gets out of control!!!

 

There's only one thing for it. Here goes:

 

TERRY AND JUNE

I'll see your Terry and June, and raise you SORRY!.

Language Timothy! Or was it funnier guessing whether Terry or June's deckchair would collapse in the opening credits, or maybe even the parasol on them both? Or did I just imagine it was different in different episodes? God I hope not.

 

Can of worms well & truly opened.

 

Oh, Doctor Beeching! Check and mate!

I think that I see a link between this and our friend twelvetrees,

:rolleyes: Do you think that one of us is him? Coffee hasn't kicked in this morning yet, forgive me if I'm being a bit dozy.

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Oh my God! What have I done! I'll have to put a stop to this thread once and for all before it gets out of control!!!

 

There's only one thing for it. Here goes:

 

TERRY AND JUNE

I'll see your Terry and June, and raise you SORRY!.

Language Timothy! Or was it funnier guessing whether Terry or June's deckchair would collapse in the opening credits, or maybe even the parasol on them both? Or did I just imagine it was different in different episodes? God I hope not.

 

Can of worms well & truly opened.

 

Oh, Doctor Beeching! Check and mate!

I think that I see a link between this and our friend twelvetrees,

:rolleyes: Do you think that one of us is him? Coffee hasn't kicked in this morning yet, forgive me if I'm being a bit dozy.

Well I could pretend that I was being especially subtle. In fact, I had become slightly confused after spending the day drinking at a cricket tournament.

 

I was thinking that Jeffrey Holland had played the part of James Twelvetrees in Oh Doctor Beeching. In fact, that was another Hi-de-Hi spin-off, You Rang M'Lud. So there is a connection but its more tenuous than I intended.

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Pardon My Genie? What a man of taste and resource you are, mr Pooka. Hugh Paddick followed by Arthur White (aka David Jason's less successful brother), and written by Bob Block, of Rentghost fame (oo - Nadia Popov! Pity she morphed into Gail's mum on Corrie)).

Roy Barraclough was quite brilliant as the store owner. Having googled I find that there were 26 episodes in two series. Nostalgia Central tells us that:

 

This deservedly popular children's series - akin to a cross between Open All Hours and US cartoon Shazzam! - enjoyed a remarkable final episode in which the genie caused mayhem at a television studio. Because the series was filmed at Thames, the stars on the receiving end of the bad magic included the station's biggest names of the day: Eamonn Andrews, Tony Bastable, Wendy Craig, Dickie Davies, Jack Smethurst, Susan Stranks and, last but by no means least, Puff the Pony.

 

Wow. This must be made available on DVD. (I guess I was not alone in finding Susan Stranks to be a source of arousal. Tony Bastable, however, was unable to produce a similar effect.)

 

Finally, I have just remembered the appalling Junior Showtime (Opportunity Knocks for kids). About as mind-numbing and mouth-opening as TV could ever be. Having Googled I can find no trace of its presenters: the gormless Bobby Bennett and the talentless 'vamp', Ayesha Brough. Any news on them?

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Oh my God! What have I done! I'll have to put a stop to this thread once and for all before it gets out of control!!!

 

There's only one thing for it. Here goes:

 

TERRY AND JUNE

I'll see your Terry and June, and raise you SORRY!.

Language Timothy! Or was it funnier guessing whether Terry or June's deckchair would collapse in the opening credits, or maybe even the parasol on them both? Or did I just imagine it was different in different episodes? God I hope not.

 

Can of worms well & truly opened.

 

Oh, Doctor Beeching! Check and mate!

I think that I see a link between this and our friend twelvetrees,

:rolleyes: Do you think that one of us is him? Coffee hasn't kicked in this morning yet, forgive me if I'm being a bit dozy.

Well I could pretend that I was being especially subtle. In fact, I had become slightly confused after spending the day drinking at a cricket tournament.

 

I was thinking that Jeffrey Holland had played the part of James Twelvetrees in Oh Doctor Beeching. In fact, that was another Hi-de-Hi spin-off, You Rang M'Lud. So there is a connection but its more tenuous than I intended.

 

Jeffrey Holland???? Oh, the shame of it <_<

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Jeffrey Holland???? Oh, the shame of it :rolleyes:

 

Yes. After Hi-de-Hi his career went downhill rapidly. Just when it didn't seem possible. Mind you, I suppose that applies to virtually the whole cast. Where are they now?

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Jeffrey Holland???? Oh, the shame of it :rolleyes:

 

Yes. After Hi-de-Hi his career went downhill rapidly. Just when it didn't seem possible. Mind you, I suppose that applies to virtually the whole cast. Where are they now?

 

These last few posts got me looking at his IMDB entry - a strange mix of Perry / Croft vehicles and Shakespeare ("Henry V", "As You Like It" with Helen Mirren, and "Richard II" with Jacobi & Gielgud!)

 

The juxtaposition of "As You Like It" and "Are You Being Served?" in the list tickles me for some perverse reason!

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Yes. After Hi-de-Hi his career went downhill rapidly. Just when it didn't seem possible. Mind you, I suppose that applies to virtually the whole cast. Where are they now?

 

Simon Cadell, Kenneth Connor & Leslie Dwyer are dead.

 

Paul Shane is still an annoying fat bloke.

 

Su Pollard is still acting, on stage & still makes many TV guest appearances.

Ruth Madoc is still going strong, she plays Dafyyd's mum in Little Britain.

 

Diane Holland is in v. poor health.

Felix Bowness is retired, lives in Berkshire.

 

 

The rest? Nobodies before, nobodies after. Their disappearance from our TV screens is no loss at all.

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Yes. After Hi-de-Hi his career went downhill rapidly. Just when it didn't seem possible. Mind you, I suppose that applies to virtually the whole cast. Where are they now?

 

Simon Cadell, Kenneth Connor & Leslie Dwyer are dead.

 

Paul Shane is still an annoying fat bloke.

 

Su Pollard is still acting, on stage & still makes many TV guest appearances.

Ruth Madoc is still going strong, she plays Dafyyd's mum in Little Britain.

 

Diane Holland is in v. poor health.

Felix Bowness is retired, lives in Berkshire.

 

 

The rest? Nobodies before, nobodies after. Their disappearance from our TV screens is no loss at all.

David Griffin, who took over from Simon Cadell, is still going strong. He played Emmett in Keeping Up Appearances, hasn't done much in TV since that though.

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