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3 minutes ago, Wee Jum said:

That ridiculous

It really is when you consider someone like Paolo Maldini at AC Millan or Ryan Giggs at United didn’t have there shirts retired men who spent well over 20 years in the first team with almost 1000 first team games for there respective clubs  and won everything there was to win countless times over aren’t deemed worthy recipients but some kid who has done nothing and may or may not have a good career In the future has embarrassing. If I was Jude Bellingham I would feel pretty embarrassed to receive such an ‘honour’. 

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1 hour ago, time said:

Just when you think professional football clubs can't get any worse/more stupid/more whatever, Birmingham City announce they're retiring the number 22 shirt after selling a 17 year old with  one season under his belt (44 appearances, 4 goals, 3 assists).

 

Ridiculous is the world you were looking for. This is getting a lot of shit on some footy forums I'm on.

 

It's absolute fucking bonkers. You retire shirt numbers for dead players!! 

 

Not because you're a cash-grabbing fuckwad who's just sold the best player you've ever nurtured as a club and one who could help you go Prem in a few years. 

 

Meanwhile Juventus beaten by 16th placed Udinese to take the title fight to their next match. 

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50 minutes ago, Fergie86 said:

It really is when you consider someone like Paolo Maldini at AC Millan or Ryan Giggs at United didn’t have there shirts retired men who spent well over 20 years in the first team with almost 1000 first team games for there respective clubs  and won everything there was to win countless times over aren’t deemed worthy recipients but some kid who has done nothing and may or may not have a good career In the future has embarrassing. If I was Jude Bellingham I would feel pretty embarrassed to receive such an ‘honour’. 

 

I remember when the number on the back of a footballer's shirt denoted the position he was playing in.  :old:

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2 hours ago, Toast said:

 

I remember when the number on the back of a footballer's shirt denoted the position he was playing in.  :old:

 

The good old days before squad numbers.

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This is a complete shit-post but does anyone just want to see someone turn up one day to a team they've got no hope of beating a name a 1-10 formation.

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Lowest Points Totals in the Premier League Era

With Norwich's best case scenario now 24 points, the canaries get to pull up a seat at the hall of shame - clubs who've amassed less than 30 points in a season in the Prem.

Leicester City 29 points (1994/1995)
Bolton Wanderers 29 points (1995/1996)
Leicester City 28 points (2001/02)
Reading 28 points (2012/2013)
Watford 28 points (2006/2007)
Middlesbrough 28 points (2016/2017)
Ipswich Town 27 points (1994/1995)
West Brom 26 points (2002/2003)
Bradford City 26 points (2000/2001)
Fulham 28 points (2018/2019)
QPR 25 points (2012/2013)
Wolves 25 points (2011/2012)
Watford 24 points (1999/2000)
Sunderland 24 points (2016/17)
Provisionally Norwich 21 points (2019/2020) ***
Portsmouth 19 points (2009/2010) (28 points with a 9 point deduction for entering adminstration)
Sunderland 19 points (2002/2003)
Aston Villa 17 points (2015/2016)
Huddersfield Town 16 points (2018/2019)
Sunderland 15 points (2005/2006)
Derby County 11 points (2007/2008)

***unless they miraculously beat city.

 

Disclaimer: yes I know football didn't start in 1992 but if I wanted to review the early seasons I'd need to do PPG calculations and convert 2 points for a win to 3 points for a win and I cba, 

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9 hours ago, Miracle Aligner said:

Lowest Points Totals in the Premier League Era

With Norwich's best case scenario now 24 points, the canaries get to pull up a seat at the hall of shame - clubs who've amassed less than 30 points in a season in the Prem.

Leicester City 29 points (1994/1995)
Bolton Wanderers 29 points (1995/1996)
Leicester City 28 points (2001/02)
Reading 28 points (2012/2013)
Watford 28 points (2006/2007)
Middlesbrough 28 points (2016/2017)
Ipswich Town 27 points (1994/1995)
West Brom 26 points (2002/2003)
Bradford City 26 points (2000/2001)
Fulham 28 points (2018/2019)
QPR 25 points (2012/2013)
Wolves 25 points (2011/2012)
Watford 24 points (1999/2000)
Sunderland 24 points (2016/17)
Provisionally Norwich 21 points (2019/2020) ***
Portsmouth 19 points (2009/2010) (28 points with a 9 point deduction for entering adminstration)
Sunderland 19 points (2002/2003)
Aston Villa 17 points (2015/2016)
Huddersfield Town 16 points (2018/2019)
Sunderland 15 points (2005/2006)
Derby County 11 points (2007/2008)

***unless they miraculously beat city.

 

Disclaimer: yes I know football didn't start in 1992 but if I wanted to review the early seasons I'd need to do PPG calculations and convert 2 points for a win to 3 points for a win and I cba, 

If you go back to the start of 3 points for a win, introduced in 1981-82, the hall of shame then includes

 

Wolves 29 points (1983-84)

Birmingham City 29 points (1985-86)

Millwall 26 points (1989-90)

Derby 24 points (1990-91)**

WBA 24 points (1985-86)

Stoke City 17 points (1984-85)

 

Note that, with the exception of Derby's shameful season, all these seasons consisted of 42 matches (Derby's was 38 matches). The 85-86 season was the only one that had 2 teams relegated with fewer than 30 points.

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Interest now turns to the major footballing event of the weekend, Saturday's National League South playoff semi finals.

I give you the heroic mighty Terras (Weymouth FC) taking on the professional divers and timewasters of Dorking (boo) for a place in next week's final to determine who goes up to the National League (formerly the Conference).

 

In the 'after the Lord Mayor's Show' undercard, I take Leicester to beat Man U (who have looked knackered in the last 2 weeks) in the effective champs league playoff game and all the bottom 4 to lose, leaving Villa to stay up thanks to the point they shouldn't have got because of the 'ghost' goal  Sheffield United scored against them last month. Villa were also lucky to play Arsenal in the match when half the  latter's first team were knackered after their FA Cup SF heroics against Man City 3 days previously and the other half were rested, whereas Watford will be playing the full Arsenal  first team, who will all be up for it to secure their places in the Cup Final the following week. 

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Oi @Lord Fellatio Nelson can spurs beat palace, I’ve just put a bet on the draw but I don’t know who is the best at footballing so I thought a draw would be the better option. 

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2 hours ago, Lard Bazaar said:

Oi @Lord Fellatio Nelson can spurs beat palace, I’ve just put a bet on the draw but I don’t know who is the best at footballing so I thought a draw would be the better option. 

They MUST beat Palace to have any chance of European football next season.

A draw sounds reasonable for a bet.

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2 hours ago, Lard Bazaar said:

Oi @Lord Fellatio Nelson can spurs beat palace, I’ve just put a bet on the draw but I don’t know who is the best at footballing so I thought a draw would be the better option. 

 

They need a win and palace are fucking shit..... so Spur's will probably lose.

 

I I know there's good reasons why but all the matches being played at the same time on the last day irks me..... 

 

Especially with ours being a dead match that has no influence on relegation or on europe. 

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Well I have a considerable amount of dollar riding on this!

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1 hour ago, Lord Fellatio Nelson said:

They MUST beat Palace to have any chance of European football next season.

 

No, they can draw or lose tomorrow, finish 7th and still get in the europa league, as long as Chelsea win the Cup Final.

If Arsenal win the Cup Final  you'll need to finish 6th to qualify  (again, ironically, relying on Chelsea to do you a favour by beating Wolves tomorrow). If Wolves lose then a draw will be enough as your goal difference is better.

Better to finish 6th rather than 7th then if Chelsea win the cup final you'll be seeded to the group stages of the UEFA league (and Wolves will have to get through qualifying rounds). If arsenal win the Cup then the 6th place team will have to do the UEFA qualifying rounds and Arsenal will be seeded to the group stages, along with whoever finishes 5th.

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1 hour ago, Great Uncle Bulgaria said:

 

No, they can draw or lose tomorrow, finish 7th and still get in the europa league, as long as Chelsea win the Cup Final.

If Arsenal win the Cup Final  you'll need to finish 6th to qualify  (again, ironically, relying on Chelsea to do you a favour by beating Wolves tomorrow). If Wolves lose then a draw will be enough as your goal difference is better.

Better to finish 6th rather than 7th then if Chelsea win the cup final you'll be seeded to the group stages of the UEFA league (and Wolves will have to get through qualifying rounds). If arsenal win the Cup then the 6th place team will have to do the UEFA qualifying rounds and Arsenal will be seeded to the group stages, along with whoever finishes 5th.

Fucking hell, my brain (a very small one) has just exploded.  :lol:

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3 hours ago, Great Uncle Bulgaria said:

 

No, they can draw or lose tomorrow, finish 7th and still get in the europa league, as long as Chelsea win the Cup Final.

If Arsenal win the Cup Final  you'll need to finish 6th to qualify  (again, ironically, relying on Chelsea to do you a favour by beating Wolves tomorrow). If Wolves lose then a draw will be enough as your goal difference is better.

Better to finish 6th rather than 7th then if Chelsea win the cup final you'll be seeded to the group stages of the UEFA league (and Wolves will have to get through qualifying rounds). If arsenal win the Cup then the 6th place team will have to do the UEFA qualifying rounds and Arsenal will be seeded to the group stages, along with whoever finishes 5th.

I’m a thickee currently studying Mathematical Sciences, and believe me, 12 modules and six months worth of exponential growth and decay calculations, along with a smattering of quadratic equations and logarithms is easier to understand than this complete nonsense :D

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On 24/07/2020 at 10:55, Great Uncle Bulgaria said:

Interest now turns to the major footballing event of the weekend, Saturday's National League South playoff semi finals.

I give you the heroic mighty Terras (Weymouth FC) taking on the professional divers and timewasters of Dorking (boo) for a place in next week's final to determine who goes up to the National League (formerly the Conference).

Yay, injury time winner! 3-2! 

Final v Dartford next week.

Sure you're all fascinated.....

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48 minutes ago, Great Uncle Bulgaria said:

Yay, injury time winner! 3-2! 

Final v Dartford next week.

Sure you're all fascinated.....

 

National League North produced a cracker and a match.

 

Gateshead FC who were on the verge of going bust in Summer 2019 and relegated from National League to National League North on account of off-field issues player-managed by former Newcastle player Mike Williamson to a 5 v 3 loss at Boston United's York Street Ground. An 8 goal thriller, can't see non-league is boring....

 

Meanwhile Altrincham dispatched of 'sleeping giant' York City with a 0 v 2 win at Bootham Crescent. 

 

Final will be Boston United v Altrincham for promotion to the National League and the chance to be even closer to the Football League yet somehow still completely incapable of ever getting their. 

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On 25/07/2020 at 14:44, Lord Fellatio Nelson said:

They MUST beat Palace to have any chance of European football next season.

A draw sounds reasonable for a bet.

FUCKING GET IN!

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Well done Lardy!

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19 hours ago, Miracle Aligner said:

 

National League North produced a cracker and a match.

 

Gateshead FC who were on the verge of going bust in Summer 2019 and relegated from National League to National League North on account of off-field issues player-managed by former Newcastle player Mike Williamson to a 5 v 3 loss at Boston United's York Street Ground. An 8 goal thriller, can't see non-league is boring....

 

Meanwhile Altrincham dispatched of 'sleeping giant' York City with a 0 v 2 win at Bootham Crescent. 

 

Final will be Boston United v Altrincham for promotion to the National League and the chance to be even closer to the Football League yet somehow still completely incapable of ever getting their. 

Our team were crowned champions of said league in the week.

I suppose we will be hoping for a Boston win to keep with the local derby thing next season.

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11 minutes ago, Lord Fellatio Nelson said:

Our team were crowned champions of said league in the week.

I suppose we will be hoping for a Boston win to keep with the local derby thing next season.

 

Still baffles me that these clubs are classed as 'Northern'

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7 minutes ago, Miracle Aligner said:

 

Still baffles me that these clubs are classed as 'Northern'

Well they are not really.

We have played in leagues that have been more South based as well as North based.

I suppose, until there is a Middle England league, it is what it is.

 

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2 minutes ago, Lord Fellatio Nelson said:

Well they are not really.

We have played in leagues that have been more South based as well as North based.

I suppose, until there is a Middle England league, it is what it is.

 

 

I'd love to see them restructuring the Vanarama Leagues to be honest, the idea is the leagues get more local the further down the pyramid you go.

 

Yet this season Gateshead had a 500 mile round away trip to Gloucester- absolutely bonkers.... 

 

I'd love to see the National League split down to

 

Nat League North, Nat League Central and Nat League South.

 

With the Central one covering the midlands and east Anglia down through lincolnshire etc. 

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