Football

[Twelvetrees 10]

I may be giving you a cheery wave from the other end of the ground Mono. We were f*****g abysmal yesterday. Squad ravaged through injury and suspension made worse with the dismissal of the captain for handling Neil Harris. Only rampant Bournemouth to go, though our fourth place is safe from everything but Leeds getting their points back. With so few left to field the play-offs may be a competition too far this year.

 

Rampant Bournemouth...six on the bounce, and we have to do better than Cheltenham on the last day to stay up in what may be the greatest Great Escape ever. Imagine watching the film and seeing Steve McQueen actually get his bike over the barbed wire. However, we don't travel well and have a poor record against Carlisle. But you'll have a fight on your hands, MPFC, believe me.

 

What drives us more than anything else is getting Southampton to look West rather than East for their local derby. Now that would be funny.

[Godot 148]

I may be giving you a cheery wave from the other end of the ground Mono. We were f*****g abysmal yesterday. Squad ravaged through injury and suspension made worse with the dismissal of the captain for handling Neil Harris. Only rampant Bournemouth to go, though our fourth place is safe from everything but Leeds getting their points back. With so few left to field the play-offs may be a competition too far this year.

 

Rampant Bournemouth...six on the bounce, and we have to do better than Cheltenham on the last day to stay up in what may be the greatest Great Escape ever. Imagine watching the film and seeing Steve McQueen actually get his bike over the barbed wire. However, we don't travel well and have a poor record against Carlisle. But you'll have a fight on your hands, MPFC, believe me.

 

What drives us more than anything else is getting Southampton to look West rather than East for their local derby. Now that would be funny.

I've seen that film many times and he's never made it yet. One day.....

[harrymcnallysblueandwhitearmy 1,447]

Another dramatic day in the footballing world.

 

Chester & Reading hang on (for now), but I think it's fair to say Carlisle United have pretty much blown automatic promotion. You can see one of Doncaster & Nottm Forest losing, but not both...

 

Meanwhile a Southampton home league game versus Hereford United is looking a real possibility. What fun Portsmouth would have if they won the Cup & Soton went down. Monoclinic must be apopletic with rage. As for that matter, I imagine, MPFC also.

 

And in the Blue Square Prem it will indeed be Exeter vs Torquay for the right to be in the Play-off final at Wembley.

In the night's big match, Chester and Stockport play out the most memorable and exciting 0-0 draw in the history of the game to ensure the former will be gracing the Football League with their Blue & White presence for at least another season.

 

Elsewhere, I believe Barcelona were knocked out of some cup by someone or other.

[maryportfuncity 9,987]

Monoclinic must be apopletic with rage. As for that matter, I imagine, MPFC also.

 

Not really, squad's too thin on real talent to survive easily in the CCC and I could content myself with another tilt at the present level if the alternative were a desperate scramble for fourth from bottom a division higher. So - all told - Swansea, Forest and Leeds promoted would leave Southampton our only 'big' opponent next year.

[harrymcnallysblueandwhitearmy 1,447]

Leeds kick off in court. Looking at the arrangements here the judgement won't be delivered until after the play offs. Tough one, had they given Leeds back any points before the end of the season it's likely the top half of the table would have united in their legal action. If Leeds win the play-offs I guess the league might just get away with giving them some points back as well. If they fail in the play-offs they may start next season in League One with points on the board.

 

Right mess all round really.

 

And if they don't make the play-offs?

 

At least Leeds don't have Laurel and Hardy Mortimer and Randolph Duke Hicks and Gillett. Farcical.

 

 

You tell me HMBWA...

 

 

If they don't make the play-offs and then get their points back so they edge out Donny or us I can see half League One going ballistic. There'll be blathering appeals from Luton and Bournemouth if their points totals with 10 added would have kept them up etc etc. If - as has been suggested by the usual types who claim to be 'in the know' on the CUFC board - the CCC runs one team larger next year and relagates four at the end of the season I'm guessing loads of the usual CCC relegation suspects - Norwich, Sheff Wed, Leicester etc - would go mental whilst ALL of League One would launch some action for lost revenue from the Leeds game.

 

Is my memory going or did Leeds agree NOT to appeal the ruling ages ago?

Leeds have failed to get their 15 pts back, so Carlisle have to beat Bournemouth, and hope Forest and Doncaster fail to win, to gain automatic promotion. Quite a task.

[harrymcnallysblueandwhitearmy 1,447]

Let's hear it for the play-offs. No less than 26 of the 72 League clubs have something to play for on this final weekend, including the promotion/relegation battle between MPFC and Twelvetrees and the nine-way Championship fight to become next year's Derby.

 

The Premiership relegation dogfight is no less interesting, with Fulham, Brum, Bolton, Boro, Reading and Wigan all hoping not to be next year's Charlton.

 

A jolly couple of afternoons with Mr Stelling and a few bottles of Pride await.

[Cowboy Ronnie 77]

Highlight of the day for me would be the Carlisle fans who staged a modest pitch invasion after their team didn't clinch automatic promotion, when they had a play-off spot sewn up before the match started. They needed a win and for Forest not to do the same. Is there no radio reception in that part of the country, or has maths been banned from local schools for the past 30 years?

[Octopus of Odstock 1,850]

Highlight of the day for me would be the Carlisle fans who staged a modest pitch invasion after their team didn't clinch automatic promotion, when they had a play-off spot sewn up before the match started. They needed a win and for Forest not to do the same. Is there no radio reception in that part of the country, or has maths been banned from local schools for the past 30 years?

 

Yeah, I thought that bizarre, if not typical. It could be they were celebrating the fact they drew a game.

 

In other football, we are doomed barring a miracle.

[maryportfuncity 9,987]

Highlight of the day for me would be the Carlisle fans who staged a modest pitch invasion after their team didn't clinch automatic promotion, when they had a play-off spot sewn up before the match started. They needed a win and for Forest not to do the same. Is there no radio reception in that part of the country, or has maths been banned from local schools for the past 30 years?

 

Yeah, I thought that bizarre, if not typical. It could be they were celebrating the fact they drew a game.

 

In other football, we are doomed barring a miracle.

 

 

Yer missing the point. We ALWAYS invade the pitch on the last game. Yesterday - granted - there was some confusion. A bit restrained given the fact we've got another home game against Leeds. There's also been an ongoing battle of sorts as the club tries to stop the annual invasion with lots of stewards and repeated announcements that the team won't appear until the pitch is cleared. One thing the reporters missed was the number of CUFC supporters who walked towards the Bournemouth fans and applauded them, cos we know how they feel.

[Twelvetrees 10]

Highlight of the day for me would be the Carlisle fans who staged a modest pitch invasion after their team didn't clinch automatic promotion, when they had a play-off spot sewn up before the match started. They needed a win and for Forest not to do the same. Is there no radio reception in that part of the country, or has maths been banned from local schools for the past 30 years?

 

Yeah, I thought that bizarre, if not typical. It could be they were celebrating the fact they drew a game.

 

In other football, we are doomed barring a miracle.

 

 

Yer missing the point. We ALWAYS invade the pitch on the last game. Yesterday - granted - there was some confusion. A bit restrained given the fact we've got another home game against Leeds. There's also been an ongoing battle of sorts as the club tries to stop the annual invasion with lots of stewards and repeated announcements that the team won't appear until the pitch is cleared. One thing the reporters missed was the number of CUFC supporters who walked towards the Bournemouth fans and applauded them, cos we know how they feel.

 

It was appreciated - I'd like to say we'll bounce back but a 15-point penalty looms, and we still haven't got a confirmed buyer. This may be the worst season we've had - I just hope it's not our last.

[maryportfuncity 9,987]

It was appreciated - I'd like to say we'll bounce back but a 15-point penalty looms, and we still haven't got a confirmed buyer. This may be the worst season we've had - I just hope it's not our last.

 

Impressed at your support either way Twelvetrees, were you amongst the throng I was applauding? I'm assuming pretty much everyone made the journey from Bournemouth. I can't imagine that many die-hard Cherries' fans are currently living and working in Carlisle.

[Twelvetrees 10]

It was appreciated - I'd like to say we'll bounce back but a 15-point penalty looms, and we still haven't got a confirmed buyer. This may be the worst season we've had - I just hope it's not our last.

 

Impressed at your support either way Twelvetrees, were you amongst the throng I was applauding? I'm assuming pretty much everyone made the journey from Bournemouth. I can't imagine that many die-hard Cherries' fans are currently living and working in Carlisle.

 

I think there are two...it was a good open game, and Max Gradel (who has been our star player, despite the family problems he's had back home in France) ran you ragged at the back, but you've got a disciplined squad who, like us, play good football. A shame that our former manager and record appearance holder, Sean O'Driscoll, couldn't inspire his motley eleven to beat Cheltenham or we'd both be happy. Good luck in the play-offs - I'll be cheering for Carlisle - well anyone but Leeds or Doncaster.

[Monoclinic 39]

I never doubted Southampton for a second. Did I?

[maryportfuncity 9,987]

It was appreciated - I'd like to say we'll bounce back but a 15-point penalty looms, and we still haven't got a confirmed buyer. This may be the worst season we've had - I just hope it's not our last.

 

Impressed at your support either way Twelvetrees, were you amongst the throng I was applauding? I'm assuming pretty much everyone made the journey from Bournemouth. I can't imagine that many die-hard Cherries' fans are currently living and working in Carlisle.

 

I think there are two...it was a good open game, and Max Gradel (who has been our star player, despite the family problems he's had back home in France) ran you ragged at the back, but you've got a disciplined squad who, like us, play good football. A shame that our former manager and record appearance holder, Sean O'Driscoll, couldn't inspire his motley eleven to beat Cheltenham or we'd both be happy. Good luck in the play-offs - I'll be cheering for Carlisle - well anyone but Leeds or Doncaster.

 

Yes yes Twelvetrees but as I strode towards the Waterworks end and raised my hands in recognition of the admirable Bournemouth support......were you amongst them? If so, respect on the way your greatly outnumbered ranks maintained an audible wall of encouragment throughout the game.

[Lord Fellatio Nelson 6,132]

I never doubted Southampton for a second. Did I?

Not at all Monkey, my sweet.

I am somewhat satisfied that the Hampton did indeed stay up ( in joke for Cockneys) as had they been relegated I would have felt you pain.

There is little pain worse than seeing the team you love go down.

Hey, Rupert will be back next season, so I hear, see he wasnt that bad after all!!

[Monoclinic 39]

I never doubted Southampton for a second. Did I?

Not at all Monkey, my sweet.

I am somewhat satisfied that the Hampton did indeed stay up ( in joke for Cockneys) as had they been relegated I would have felt you pain.

There is little pain worse than seeing the team you love go down.

Hey, Rupert will be back next season, so I hear, see he wasnt that bad after all!!

 

I don't get the joke I'm afraid.

 

We need Rupert back like a whore needs the clap, unfortunately it's just one of those shitty inevitable outcomes. Surely there's got to be someone out there to buy their (Lowe and Wilde) 46% worth of the shares? I'm no economist but I'm assuming that a Saints share can't be worth that much these days and what with the credit crunch (which can apparently be blamed for everything from the price of elbow grease to other known solvent(cy) issues.) Although I should really be putting the credit crunch in room lovely as I'm getting more pounds for my Euro (well, that should be the case if any of last months salary makes way back across the channel and not be spent on jollies to the coast)

 

How much is Timmy Mallet worth these days?

[Lord Fellatio Nelson 6,132]

I never doubted Southampton for a second. Did I?

Not at all Monkey, my sweet.

I am somewhat satisfied that the Hampton did indeed stay up ( in joke for Cockneys) as had they been relegated I would have felt you pain.

There is little pain worse than seeing the team you love go down.

Hey, Rupert will be back next season, so I hear, see he wasnt that bad after all!!

 

I don't get the joke I'm afraid.

 

I didnt think you would, not an intelligent, witty, educated girl such as yourself, unless, of course, you can do a pretty passable impression of Dick Van Dyke in Mary Poppins? Er, thought not!

The basic problem here is that there are so many clubs to choose from, many with better support bases, history and the like, the Saints would tend to get passed over when any takeover is mooted.

Cant win em, all!

[DevonDeathTrip 2,288]

Exeter scored four goals in the last twenty minutes against Torquay to go through to the play off final 5-3 on aggregate.

 

Exeter and Chelsea will be the only two teams who have played at the new Wembley twice.

[Monoclinic 39]

I am somewhat satisfied that the Hampton did indeed stay up ( in joke for Cockneys) as had they been relegated I would have felt you pain.

 

I don't get the joke I'm afraid.

 

I didnt think you would

 

 

 

All these holidays are obviously taking their toll. I still don't get it. Perhaps it's because we tend to say Saaafamton in the least number of syllables possible. 'Hampton sounds like that posh seaside place they go to in Sex in the City.

 

Well, at least we can try to get the best championship pitch award, best singers and any other naffness. One thing is for certain, we have long past the stage of best financially managed club. Although that probably was our ultimate downfall and Lowes lack of vision in the spending department. I believe Mandaric said something along the lines that he'd spent more on petty cash than Lowe spends on our players. Must have a Scottish gene.

 

"You tell me if there is anyone else in football by the name of Rupert?" Souness

[Octopus of Odstock 1,850]

There is little pain worse than seeing the team you love go down.

 

Well your lot didn't help on Saturday by playing a decent goalkeeper & a decent team. You were supposed to ignore our lack of defending, poor passing & woeful shooting and STILL give us a point (or three) like you did to everyone else in the relegation zone.

 

Damn you Radek Cerny & Robbie Keane, damn you.

[maryportfuncity 9,987]

Exeter scored four goals in the last twenty minutes against Torquay to go through to the play off final 5-3 on aggregate.

 

Exeter and Chelsea will be the only two teams who have played at the new Wembley twice.

 

 

Carlisle rode their luck to the last second of the play-off semis in the Conference before cruising to regained league status in the play-off final. Summat, I think you may be in the process of repeating. Doubtless your ticket for the final is already in the post DDT.

[honez 79]

There is little pain worse than seeing the team you love go down.

Feel my pain. The once-mighty Wrexham will be fronting up against the likes of Histon, Forest Green, Grays Athletic, Ebbsfleet United, Crawley Town and Farsley Celtic next season.

The only pain worse than seeing them go down will be losing to these teams (which they will if they play like they did this season.) Gulp.

[Lord Fellatio Nelson 6,132]

There is little pain worse than seeing the team you love go down.

 

Well your lot didn't help on Saturday by playing a decent goalkeeper & a decent team. You were supposed to ignore our lack of defending, poor passing & woeful shooting and STILL give us a point (or three) like you did to everyone else in the relegation zone.

 

Damn you Radek Cerny & Robbie Keane, damn you.

Occy, had Steve Coppell not gone with that special 5-0-5 formation, you may well have extracted a point, maybe a whole three from us.

Whos ever heard of a five man defence, no man midfield and 5 man attack?

It was a disaster waiting to happen, old chap.

[Lord Fellatio Nelson 6,132]

There is little pain worse than seeing the team you love go down.

Feel my pain. The once-mighty Wrexham will be fronting up against the likes of Histon, Forest Green, Grays Athletic, Ebbsfleet United, Crawley Town and Farsley Celtic next season.

The only pain worse than seeing them go down will be losing to these teams (which they will if they play like they did this season.) Gulp.

Yes, quite a bummer for you.

I have to say that, hand on heart, the only team that would give me the most exquisite orgasm if they go down would be the Gooners.

Sad to say, it aint going to happen.

I am, however, hoping against hope that they will be undone in a far worse way, financial meltdown.

Ever the optimist, me!

 

PS: I know we have some wizened hacks here, any chance of popping over to your Footie colleagues and getting the lowdown on who Spurs are actually going to sign? Is Berbatov really going?

Have i got ANYTHING to look forward to?

Will I be going to see them next season expecting more mediocrity?

Come now, do tell, please!!

[Octopus of Odstock 1,850]

Occy, had Steve Coppell not gone with that special 5-0-5 formation, you may well have extracted a point, maybe a whole three from us.

Whos ever heard of a five man defence, no man midfield and 5 man attack?

It was a disaster waiting to happen, old chap.

 

Wait til you see what he's got planned for Derby........

 

I could not believe what I was seeing. No right winger for the whole game as Doyle gave up after one move & wanted to go up front. So Kitson went right then got bored. So Rosenior pushed up, but then no-one covered him. Then Bikey, who should be central midfield dropped back & Harper just ran around like he always does, yapping but doing nothing. Same goes for Hunt. Shorey has already left the club in his mind & why should Oster, who can cross the ball & go wide, actually bother when Coppell treats him absymally.

 

The list of errors this season goes on & on & on. We had FOUR fit right-wingers to play on Saturday - Little, Convey, Kebe, Henry & Oster could do if need be. Yet he chose Doyle, a striker, who is pants on the right wing. Playing attacking midfielders in defence. Persisting with players who underperform (Hahnemann, Sonko, Murty, Long, Doyle). Leaving out those that do simply because they're not fashionable or high-paid (Henry, de la Cruz, Golbourne, Federici) Bringing back a completely useless tosser and putting him back in the team (Lita). Not playing any youngsters but always "Praising the work of the Academy".

 

I cannot believe this is the same tactical genius from last season. I can believe that the higher wages have gone to most of our players heads. Disgrace.

 

We deserve to go down, but, obviously, I hope we don't. I still think Coppell is the right man but both he & Wally Downes in particular have to have a long, long, long look at their performances this season & learn from it & move on. I expect a clear-out too.

 

If we DO go down, then good bloody riddance to most of the overpaid tossers who will leave. They've grown too old, too predictable & too staid together to be of any more use. And then these overpaid tossers (especially Murty, who has been especially sh*t this year) keep saying make some noise, keep the faith up. We would if you could play football you bloody idiots.

 

That's my RFC rant for the year. I hope I only have to do it once.