maryportfuncity 10,013 Posted June 5, 2006 Janette Tough (AKA Janette Krankie) hasn't worked since she fell 20ft onto a stage when a beanstalk prop failed. It cost the dynamic duo their summer season in Blackpool and their web site is dead in the water since then. Amongst the selection of broken bones was a fractured skull, which could mean brain damage and/or epilepsy coming outta nowhere to afflict the poor wee lassie. Do any DL'ers like maybe Devon Death Trip who lives near their Torquay home know if her long term health is so damaged we might be taking an interest hereabouts? Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
maryportfuncity 10,013 Posted June 5, 2006 Guess that's a 'no' then. We'll despatch our leading investigative journalist - Millwall - to stalk her. Oh sh*t, we can't, he's gone MIA chasing Dickie O and the divine Tessa Wyatt. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Tempus Fugit 212 Posted June 5, 2006 Janette Tough (AKA Janette Krankie) hasn't worked since she fell 20ft onto a stage... Let's be grateful for small mercies. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
maryportfuncity 10,013 Posted June 5, 2006 What, her or the lack of work? Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
BrunoBrimley 83 Posted June 6, 2006 Janette Tough (AKA Janette Krankie) hasn't worked since she fell 20ft onto a stage when a beanstalk prop failed. Do any DL'ers like maybe Devon Death Trip who lives near their Torquay home know if her long term health is so damaged we might be taking an interest hereabouts? Who? was she part of a circus troupe or a music group? Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
maryportfuncity 10,013 Posted June 6, 2006 The Krankies are a much maligned UK act made up of a couple in their late fifties, he's a chunky normal sized guy, she's 53 inches tall and the act is based on her playing a naughty schoolboy whilst he takes on authority roles trying to keep her in line. They say they're professionals with over 35 years in the business, people the length and breadth of the UK abuse them for - well - being sh*t! I've been digging a bit deeper in Krankiedom and discovered a history of abandoned web sites, a crude rule of thumb is that their more recent sites get thrown up last. In fact - be warned - they're back in panto, in Darlington, this Christmas. The link above is the current site. It only looked as if the trail had gone dead. Guess she's gonna live a few more years eh? Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Magere Hein 1,397 Posted June 7, 2006 In fact - be warned - they're back in panto, in Darlington, this Christmas. Not much good for HDP, then. regards, Hein Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Lady Die 63 Posted June 7, 2006 I wonder if she dresses as a schoolboy at home ..... in the bedroom..... Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
maryportfuncity 10,013 Posted June 7, 2006 I wonder if she dresses as a schoolboy at home ..... in the bedroom..... You know what, I didn't even want to go there. Their career could be some acting out of domination fantasies. IMHO it's got more to do with people their age being brought up on that abysmal shite that passed for 'variety' in theatres and then re-inventing the same garbage for ever, or until they die, which in her case isn't as soon as we once thought. On the other hand, ageing thesps do have heart attack and stroke problems, largely down to sedentary lives punctuated by intense bursts of performance. The 'stress hormone' Cortisol is the real killer here. Ian Tough (Krankie) is obviously no athlete and would be an outside chance but you really need people still working on stage in their late sixties and beyond before them chickens come home to roost. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
pulphack 5 Posted June 7, 2006 just had a look at the website (well, one of them) and was very disturbed by that picture of her wearing an evening dress and showing cleavage. unholy. the book - fandabidozee - should be worth picking up from a charity shop or remaindered shop, though i haven't seen it yet. a lot of john blake titles end up this way, as he relies on the odd winner to bolster the failures (ie he has both jodie marsh and jordan on his list, but then there's the krankies...). i note that they've had successful tours of australia (lucky australia) and they also have a cd of kids stories about th krankie detective agency for sale. tempted, anyone? i only wanted to check out what they looked like these days but became fascinated by the semi-delusional world they seem to inhabit, like all tenth-raters (myself being a perfect example). say what you like about the chuckle brothers, but at least they still get re-commissioned. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
maryportfuncity 10,013 Posted June 7, 2006 One thing I'd say about tenth raters are that these are the very people who'll go early and quick. They end up driving miles, playing sh*t gigs and going on long past the point their bodies are fixing to fall apart, because they need the work. Max Bygraves might be ancient but he's loaded and has the chance to look after himself. If you've always got that worry about surviving and supporing yourself the stress hormones might kick in fatally. Having said that I think the Krankies are an outside bet where we're concerned. Some dodgy old comic who hasn't seen a television camera since 1971 and finds himself on stage in a club tonight on the other hand...... Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Brinsworth House Baiter 12 Posted June 7, 2006 Having said that I think the Krankies are an outside bet where we're concerned. Some dodgy old comic who hasn't seen a television camera since 1971 and finds himself on stage in a club tonight on the other hand...... I had to read this several times, until I was satisfied that it wasn't a reference to O'Sullivan. It was the seventies reference that momentarily threw me. Anyway, back on topic, I used to drink in a pub whose landlady was the dead spit of Janette Krankie. And Scottish. She barred me twice. Once for smoking a joint that her step-son had just thrust into my accepting fingers; him having seen her come out to collect glasses from the garden and the second time because my dog attacked hers, which I kinda accepted. Anyhow, awful bloody woman, who, most importantly, kept crap beer. Correspondingly, every time I see a pic of Janette Krankie I become overwhelmed by a sinister rage and feel like going on the rampage with my lairy hound. Been meaning to share that ever since I first noticed this thread. Sorry if I've upset our more serious contributors, but it's been marvellous therapy for me. Oi, Mary, do they let dogs* in the Miners or what? *Canine ones, obviously. I've seen the picture of the frontage in another thread and have absolutely no doubt that the other variety are positively encouraged. For hundreds of various, dubious reasons. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
maryportfuncity 10,013 Posted June 7, 2006 BHB Not thinking of Dickie at all. I was thinking of all those dodgy oldsters who lost out big time when alternative comedy came along. For example, the usual sources - Wikipedia, IMDB - don't give me a date of birth for Ken Goodwin, let alone a hint of whether he's still breathing. If he is he'd been a prime candidate for one who'd be obliged to work himself to death. Re dogs in the Miners are we talking ugly and female or simply canine, either way; it's been known. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Brinsworth House Baiter 12 Posted June 7, 2006 And dogs in the Miners? You half a post reader, you. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
maryportfuncity 10,013 Posted June 8, 2006 A point worth considering with regard to entertainers is their risk rate with regard to early death. There's a couple of short and funny chapters in 'All Points North' by Simon Armitage which revolve around Direct Line insurance ringing him at home and upping his life insurance after he stopped working as a probation officer and became a full-time poet. Because he went from local government work to entertainer his premium went up. The insurance company could quite explain it and explained it as danger from 'nutters and that.' I asked a mate in insurance about this and the high risk is down to other things. There is a high health attrition on performers in the cheap and cheerless end of the market who suffer strokes and heart problems in particular, diabetes from irregular and sh*t food etc. Also a lot of these people don't enjoy personal attention from managers and agents and - therefore - get booked anywhere and everywhere and are obliged to drive themselves. Long roads, winter nights, knackered from a gig they wander off the road and..... So we could bag ourselves a winner or two if we look out in local clubs and pubs and spot the odd aged comedian or singer still doing it for a couple of hundred a night. Is Ken Goodwin still alive? Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
VSBfromH 74 Posted June 8, 2006 Janette Tough (AKA Janette Krankie) Shouldn't that be "AKA Wee Jimmy Krankie"? Sorry to be pedantic, but the entry exam for their fan club is pretty severe - didn't want Bruno to be embarrassed when he puts his application in! Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
maryportfuncity 10,013 Posted June 8, 2006 According to my rating 'I need to get a life!' but - I'm tellin' ya - even I wouldn't stoop to joining their fan club. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
pulphack 5 Posted June 8, 2006 christ - reading through another thread i just hit a link to a different krankies site from the one i saw the other night... wee jimmy in a frock, dancing like ginger rogers (it said underneath) and then being hugged by ally mccoist... who is the more hideous? i suppose at least ally foun someone shorter than him, but... curse you, mary, for bringing all this up! i won't sleep for days... i daren't... nightmare visions of ballroom dancing with ally mccoist while jimmy krankie plays no9 for scotland and scores a hattrick against england... ian in drag, as well... oh the horror, the horror.... Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
maryportfuncity 10,013 Posted September 3, 2006 Charlie Williams' death has been posted on the near misses thread. We did discuss whether Ken Goodwin is still alive on this thread. Charlie's end shows that some household names can slip well off the radar, before making a final splash in the papers when they check out. So, does anyone know, is Ken Goodwin still alive? Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Alphonsin 1 Posted September 3, 2006 Is Ken Goodwin still alive? If he lives in Scunthorpe and does sequence dancing (Irish foxtrot, Broadway quickstep etc) then he was fine as of July and, presumably, in good shape since he dances regularly. Of course the Scunthorpe Evening Telegraph may be referring to a different Ken Goodwin. So.... The last mention I can find for certain of the comedian Ken Goodwin is in the Coventry Evening Telegraph. I'll paste the relevant bit, because I doubt it's anywhere normal online. A lot can happen in a year, but you'd guess he's still knocking around if he was performing 11 months ago? TV comic set for midday variety 26 October 2005 STALWART television comedian Ken Goodwin has been lined up to appear in a Midday Variety Show in Bedworth next month. He will be appearing at the town's Civic Hall on Tuesday, November 15, along with fellow comedian Dick Van Winkle and singer Maggie O'Hara. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Octopus of Odstock 1,856 Posted September 9, 2006 Janette Krankie was on tonight's History of Light Entertainment tonight, filmed earlier this year. Looked healthy enough to me. Likewise, Ali Bongo. I had heard he'd been ill, but he seemed robust enough, albeit slightly frailer than before, when interviewed. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Holy Diver 0 Posted September 9, 2006 Janette Tough (AKA Janette Krankie) hasn't worked since she fell 20ft onto a stage... Let's be grateful for small mercies. Hahaha, small mercies... I GET IT! Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
maryportfuncity 10,013 Posted September 10, 2006 OoO, she looks healthy but I think the worst of the damage was bone and ligament, so she's probably not so mobile and - therefore - struggling to 'work.' They've done a holiday camp summer season and one night at the Edinburgh fringe but they're taking it much more slowly than in the past. You can always book for the upcoming panto in Darlington though. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Anubis the Jackal 76 Posted September 12, 2006 Alternatively you could sandpaper your own bell-end, which would be marginally less painful. You can always book for the upcoming panto in Darlington though. 1 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
