Lard Bazaar 3,799 Posted February 25, 2009 Bosses. They can all go and f**k themselves. That is all. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Paul Bearer 6,102 Posted February 25, 2009 Bosses. They can all go and f**k themselves. That is all. Agreed!!!!!! Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Bill Lumbergh Posted February 25, 2009 Hey there, what's happening? Ummm .. yeaahhh. .. I'm gonna need you to come in on Saturday at about nine. Oh, and I almost forgot. I'm gonna need you to come in on Sunday too. Yeaahhh. Thanks a bunch! Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Anubis the Jackal 77 Posted February 27, 2009 The BBC, for turning down Mrs the Jackal's oddball new comedy because it was 'too quiet'. The Beeb best stop re-running Dad's Army and the like, just a load of old blokes talking innit? Either that or remake it with Russell Brand, Allan Carr and the cast of '2 Pint of lager..." Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
harrymcnallysblueandwhitearmy 1,689 Posted February 27, 2009 The BBC, for turning down Mrs the Jackal's oddball new comedy because it was 'too quiet'. The Beeb best stop re-running Dad's Army and the like, just a load of old blokes talking innit? Either that or remake it with Russell Brand, Allan Carr and the cast of '2 Pint of lager..." Blew their our wad on expensive death-inspired animation, innit. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Windsor 2,233 Posted February 27, 2009 The BBC, for turning down Mrs the Jackal's oddball new comedy because it was 'too quiet'. You would have thought that the BBC would want to tone it down after their recent exploits... Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Anubis the Jackal 77 Posted February 27, 2009 Exactly. That's why it all seems so odd. Still hope though, watch this space. The BBC, for turning down Mrs the Jackal's oddball new comedy because it was 'too quiet'. You would have thought that the BBC would want to tone it down after their recent exploits... Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Godot 149 Posted February 27, 2009 OK, I know it's giving up my Lenten vows but I'm pissed off with 24-hour clocks. Was just about to set off to airport for a 6.30 flight to Dublin when printed off e-ticket and it said 06.25 - sh*t, bugger, arseholes. It's cost me £240 to get a replacement ticket for tonight instead of the £42 ticket that I lost. Mrs Godot doesn't let me near forms of any kind ordinarily but I thought I would book this one myself as it's a lads trip. Bollocks. I don't have my tea at 1700 hours, I have it at 5 0-clock. What's wrong with o-f*****g-clock? It means I won't get to Dublin until three or four pints to midnight now and Mrs G says I can whistle for a birthday present. Feck! Arse! Drink! Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
TAFKAG 70 Posted February 28, 2009 Friends that you have avoided for years for a damn good reason, but they get in touch with you after years apart, so you spend some time with them (birthday weekend etc), then they send this to your ex husband : "hey howyou doing, it's about time you realised your situation and I'm not slagging you off but offering a resolution, clydebank is a hole we all know that.I as a friend am offering you a place to stay, move on and up, give Lady Grendel (real name replaced) the dogandfindanother job in ABERDEEN,cause thats where itshappening,I'll let you stay here till you find yourfeet though LG will need to keep the dogtas mine will have a kitten.THink aboutit as your bette than you are know." I've edited it a bit to make it more readable, what did I do to deserve friends like that, this girl is supposed to be my best friend, does she even know me.................. She's clearly an idiot. Coventry's where it's happening. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Tuber Mirum 125 Posted February 28, 2009 Friends that you have avoided for years for a damn good reason, but they get in touch with you after years apart, so you spend some time with them (birthday weekend etc), then they send this to your ex husband : "hey howyou doing, it's about time you realised your situation and I'm not slagging you off but offering a resolution, clydebank is a hole we all know that.I as a friend am offering you a place to stay, move on and up, give Lady Grendel (real name replaced) the dogandfindanother job in ABERDEEN,cause thats where itshappening,I'll let you stay here till you find yourfeet though LG will need to keep the dogtas mine will have a kitten.THink aboutit as your bette than you are know." I've edited it a bit to make it more readable, what did I do to deserve friends like that, this girl is supposed to be my best friend, does she even know me.................. She's clearly an idiot. Coventry's where happening. it's Why doesn't he go the whole hog and move to Fraserburgh? Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Windsor 2,233 Posted February 28, 2009 Friends that you have avoided for years for a damn good reason, but they get in touch with you after years apart, so you spend some time with them (birthday weekend etc), then they send this to your ex husband : "hey howyou doing, it's about time you realised your situation and I'm not slagging you off but offering a resolution, clydebank is a hole we all know that.I as a friend am offering you a place to stay, move on and up, give Lady Grendel (real name replaced) the dogandfindanother job in ABERDEEN,cause thats where itshappening,I'll let you stay here till you find yourfeet though LG will need to keep the dogtas mine will have a kitten.THink aboutit as your bette than you are know." I've edited it a bit to make it more readable, what did I do to deserve friends like that, this girl is supposed to be my best friend, does she even know me.................. She's clearly an idiot. Coventry's where it's happening. Why doesn't he go the whole hog and move to Fraserburgh? If you have ever watched that Scottish soap 'River City', you would know that every Glaswegian moves to Aberdeen to make a better life for themselves. It is like the new world... Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Tuber Mirum 125 Posted February 28, 2009 Sounds great. Perhaps I'll move there myself one day. Never heard of river city though. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Monoclinic 39 Posted February 28, 2009 Every cloud has a silver lining. You may have lost a friend who seems like a complete pillock if your pardon my superficial judgement based on one email but you would get Yogi back! Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Lord Fellatio Nelson 6,219 Posted March 1, 2009 Friends that you have avoided for years for a damn good reason, but they get in touch with you after years apart, so you spend some time with them (birthday weekend etc), then they send this to your ex husband : "hey howyou doing, it's about time you realised your situation and I'm not slagging you off but offering a resolution, clydebank is a hole we all know that.I as a friend am offering you a place to stay, move on and up, give Lady Grendel (real name replaced) the dogandfindanother job in ABERDEEN,cause thats where itshappening,I'll let you stay here till you find yourfeet though LG will need to keep the dogtas mine will have a kitten.THink aboutit as your bette than you are know." I've edited it a bit to make it more readable, what did I do to deserve friends like that, this girl is supposed to be my best friend, does she even know me.................. Come on then LG, why the f**k do you need friends anyway? I have one good friend, I love him to bits, he is a fabulous mate but, hand on heart, if I didnt see him ever again it wouldnt kill me. I have people im friendly with, Ive been known to have a night out with them BUT I dont let them into my life and I have no interest in the inner workings of theirs. Been there and done that, I dont do it anymore. My good friend is the opposite to me, he needs people around him, he cant sit indoors and do nothing. I, conversely, dont need any f****r. Maybe thats a negative to some Its a positive to me. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Windsor 2,233 Posted March 1, 2009 Friends that you have avoided for years for a damn good reason, but they get in touch with you after years apart, so you spend some time with them (birthday weekend etc), then they send this to your ex husband : "hey howyou doing, it's about time you realised your situation and I'm not slagging you off but offering a resolution, clydebank is a hole we all know that.I as a friend am offering you a place to stay, move on and up, give Lady Grendel (real name replaced) the dogandfindanother job in ABERDEEN,cause thats where itshappening,I'll let you stay here till you find yourfeet though LG will need to keep the dogtas mine will have a kitten.THink aboutit as your bette than you are know." I've edited it a bit to make it more readable, what did I do to deserve friends like that, this girl is supposed to be my best friend, does she even know me.................. Come on then LG, why the f**k do you need friends anyway? I have one good friend, I love him to bits, he is a fabulous mate but, hand on heart, if I didnt see him ever again it wouldnt kill me. I have people im friendly with, Ive been known to have a night out with them BUT I dont let them into my life and I have no interest in the inner workings of theirs. Been there and done that, I dont do it anymore. My good friend is the opposite to me, he needs people around him, he cant sit indoors and do nothing. I, conversely, dont need any f****r. Maybe thats a negative to some Its a positive to me. I don't need friends either. But I wouldn't mind having some. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Lard Bazaar 3,799 Posted March 1, 2009 Friends that you have avoided for years for a damn good reason, but they get in touch with you after years apart, so you spend some time with them (birthday weekend etc), then they send this to your ex husband : "hey howyou doing, it's about time you realised your situation and I'm not slagging you off but offering a resolution, clydebank is a hole we all know that.I as a friend am offering you a place to stay, move on and up, give Lady Grendel (real name replaced) the dogandfindanother job in ABERDEEN,cause thats where itshappening,I'll let you stay here till you find yourfeet though LG will need to keep the dogtas mine will have a kitten.THink aboutit as your bette than you are know." I've edited it a bit to make it more readable, what did I do to deserve friends like that, this girl is supposed to be my best friend, does she even know me.................. Come on then LG, why the f**k do you need friends anyway? I have one good friend, I love him to bits, he is a fabulous mate but, hand on heart, if I didnt see him ever again it wouldnt kill me. I have people im friendly with, Ive been known to have a night out with them BUT I dont let them into my life and I have no interest in the inner workings of theirs. Been there and done that, I dont do it anymore. My good friend is the opposite to me, he needs people around him, he cant sit indoors and do nothing. I, conversely, dont need any f****r. Maybe thats a negative to some Its a positive to me. I don't need friends either. But I wouldn't mind having some. Oh Windsor, you little darling. You don't need them. I'm with LFN on this one. I have two friends that I would trust completely with anything, one's a girl and one's a boy, and they're not members of my family. Family can sh*t on you just the same as friends can, and my family have. So f uck em all. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Windsor 2,233 Posted March 1, 2009 The Politics department of Aberdeen University. Exam results were supposed to be up by last Friday, yet my class are still waiting for them. Secondly, my dissertation is due on the 30th April. What do the politics department do? Demand an essay of 5000 words for the next day. Having spoken to the tutor, he refused to lower the word count (essays are usually only 3500 words) and he said that I should not count on an time extention. Wouldn't be so bad, but the essay topics are complete gash in the first place! It is almost like they are willing you to fail... Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Lord Fellatio Nelson 6,219 Posted March 1, 2009 Wife Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Lard Bazaar 3,799 Posted March 8, 2009 Neighbours who think it's a jolly wheeze to have loud swinging parties. I don't like your f*****g music, and I don't like listening to your wife getting f**ked by some weirdo you met off the internet. Yes, that's what I'm listening to right f*****g now, 354am, I've got William G Stewart on the telly to try and drown out the sounds, and it's failing miserably. Tossers. Edit - Well the music stopped at twenty to six, and I finally drift off into a troubled sleep - twenty past six, she's getting shagged again and screaming like our very own Banshee. For f**k's sake, have some self-respect woman. It's not like they are unaware that our walls are paper-thin, as they've commented before that they can hear me shouting at the children. At least I don't shout at my children at twenty to f*****g six in the morning, whilst being f**ked senseless by a stranger. Not usually, anyway. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Handrejka 1,904 Posted March 8, 2009 Neighbours who think it's a jolly wheeze to have loud swinging parties. I don't like your f*****g music, and I don't like listening to your wife getting f**ked by some weirdo you met off the internet. Yes, that's what I'm listening to right f*****g now, 354am, I've got William G Stewart on the telly to try and drown out the sounds, and it's failing miserably. Tossers. Edit - Well the music stopped at twenty to six, and I finally drift off into a troubled sleep - twenty past six, she's getting shagged again and screaming like our very own Banshee. For f**k's sake, have some self-respect woman. It's not like they are unaware that our walls are paper-thin, as they've commented before that they can hear me shouting at the children. At least I don't shout at my children at twenty to f*****g six in the morning, whilst being f**ked senseless by a stranger. Not usually, anyway. I can sympathise. Although not as extreme as your case, we've had similar problems with our neighbours, and their dog bit me the other day. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Lard Bazaar 3,799 Posted March 8, 2009 Neighbours who think it's a jolly wheeze to have loud swinging parties. I don't like your f*****g music, and I don't like listening to your wife getting f**ked by some weirdo you met off the internet. Yes, that's what I'm listening to right f*****g now, 354am, I've got William G Stewart on the telly to try and drown out the sounds, and it's failing miserably. Tossers. Edit - Well the music stopped at twenty to six, and I finally drift off into a troubled sleep - twenty past six, she's getting shagged again and screaming like our very own Banshee. For f**k's sake, have some self-respect woman. It's not like they are unaware that our walls are paper-thin, as they've commented before that they can hear me shouting at the children. At least I don't shout at my children at twenty to f*****g six in the morning, whilst being f**ked senseless by a stranger. Not usually, anyway. I can sympathise. Although not as extreme as your case, we've had similar problems with our neighbours, and their dog bit me the other day. I hope you reported them, people that let their dogs run riot really piss me off. I went to the cashpoint at Tesco Express yesterday, and some selfish bastard had tied his dog up right in front of the cashpoint, and every time you tried to walk round him to get to the machine, he barked like some hairy f*****g burglar alarm, and looked like he would rip my arms off, so I had to wait until the twat came out of the shop. Some people just have no concept of anyone else around them. Well, things finally quietened down this morning, their guests left at about 9, and I could hear them shuffling about again in the bedroom, I assume to get some sleep. So I put two hours worth of Metallica at full volume on my stereo, in my bedroom, with the speakers right up against their wall. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Lord Fellatio Nelson 6,219 Posted March 8, 2009 Neighbours who think it's a jolly wheeze to have loud swinging parties. I don't like your f*****g music, and I don't like listening to your wife getting f**ked by some weirdo you met off the internet. Yes, that's what I'm listening to right f*****g now, 354am, I've got William G Stewart on the telly to try and drown out the sounds, and it's failing miserably. Tossers. Edit - Well the music stopped at twenty to six, and I finally drift off into a troubled sleep - twenty past six, she's getting shagged again and screaming like our very own Banshee. For f**k's sake, have some self-respect woman. It's not like they are unaware that our walls are paper-thin, as they've commented before that they can hear me shouting at the children. At least I don't shout at my children at twenty to f*****g six in the morning, whilst being f**ked senseless by a stranger. Not usually, anyway. It wasnt Stan Collymore by any chance? Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Lard Bazaar 3,799 Posted March 8, 2009 Neighbours who think it's a jolly wheeze to have loud swinging parties. I don't like your f*****g music, and I don't like listening to your wife getting f**ked by some weirdo you met off the internet. Yes, that's what I'm listening to right f*****g now, 354am, I've got William G Stewart on the telly to try and drown out the sounds, and it's failing miserably. Tossers. Edit - Well the music stopped at twenty to six, and I finally drift off into a troubled sleep - twenty past six, she's getting shagged again and screaming like our very own Banshee. For f**k's sake, have some self-respect woman. It's not like they are unaware that our walls are paper-thin, as they've commented before that they can hear me shouting at the children. At least I don't shout at my children at twenty to f*****g six in the morning, whilst being f**ked senseless by a stranger. Not usually, anyway. It wasnt Stan Collymore by any chance? No, because he's sh*t with balls, and judging by my neighbour's screams, the chap next door must have got his right in the back of her net. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Lord Fellatio Nelson 6,219 Posted March 8, 2009 Neighbours who think it's a jolly wheeze to have loud swinging parties. I don't like your f*****g music, and I don't like listening to your wife getting f**ked by some weirdo you met off the internet. Yes, that's what I'm listening to right f*****g now, 354am, I've got William G Stewart on the telly to try and drown out the sounds, and it's failing miserably. Tossers. Edit - Well the music stopped at twenty to six, and I finally drift off into a troubled sleep - twenty past six, she's getting shagged again and screaming like our very own Banshee. For f**k's sake, have some self-respect woman. It's not like they are unaware that our walls are paper-thin, as they've commented before that they can hear me shouting at the children. At least I don't shout at my children at twenty to f*****g six in the morning, whilst being f**ked senseless by a stranger. Not usually, anyway. It wasnt Stan Collymore by any chance? No, because he's sh*t with balls, and judging by my neighbour's screams, the chap next door must have got his right in the back of her net. Gotta be reply of the month. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Lard Bazaar 3,799 Posted March 8, 2009 Do you actually believe, those f*****g C U NTS NEXT DOOR have just put their stereo on again. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
