Room 101

[honez 79]

The gay minister debate.

 

I have lost miserably against the religious folk of Fraserburgh. I recieved a chain email from the local minister against the appointment, so I replied to it. I have apparently caused some offence along the chain, which ended with an email battle with the minister.

 

Now I have to decide whether or not to respond to the letters column of the Fraserburgh Herald. One man put in a letter full of 'facts' this week. It started about the said minister who "divorced his wife and abandoned his child in favour of an adulterous male partnership". The ex-wife's account of the marriage break-up does not correspond with this. The writer then moves on to science using dubious references to say that it is 'fact' that the 'gay gene theory' has been dismissed, and fact that sexual orientation has no biological basis. Not that I am an expert in this matter...but don't scientists and scholars still debate this stuff? Isn't the jury still out? (His references were given as (Science and Nature et al 21st C) and (Endocrinology et al 21st C). As far as I can see these are not specific academic papers, but journal (not article) titles?). After going on about science, he then turns to theology. Science and God working together...

 

I probably won't write in - it is not worth the hassle (hence why I vent my rage here (I'm also in enough excrament as it is)).

 

Windsor

Ooh, I feel the need for a separate thread created here, where you can post the email, your response and any of the aforementioned responses to same. Possibly a link to Fraserburg letters to ed online or something.

I'm sure between the collective might of DL intelligentsia, those foolish enough to stand in your way will be made to look like illiterate savages, and ground into the dirt. It doesn't matter what your stance on the matter was, I'm sure any/all of the DL community would be gracious enough to put their own moral codes aside and treat this as an exercise in total destruction of the opposition.

[Lard Bazaar 3,800]

The gay minister debate.

 

I have lost miserably against the religious folk of Fraserburgh. I recieved a chain email from the local minister against the appointment, so I replied to it. I have apparently caused some offence along the chain, which ended with an email battle with the minister.

 

Now I have to decide whether or not to respond to the letters column of the Fraserburgh Herald. One man put in a letter full of 'facts' this week. It started about the said minister who "divorced his wife and abandoned his child in favour of an adulterous male partnership". The ex-wife's account of the marriage break-up does not correspond with this. The writer then moves on to science using dubious references to say that it is 'fact' that the 'gay gene theory' has been dismissed, and fact that sexual orientation has no biological basis. Not that I am an expert in this matter...but don't scientists and scholars still debate this stuff? Isn't the jury still out? (His references were given as (Science and Nature et al 21st C) and (Endocrinology et al 21st C). As far as I can see these are not specific academic papers, but journal (not article) titles?). After going on about science, he then turns to theology. Science and God working together...

 

I probably won't write in - it is not worth the hassle (hence why I vent my rage here (I'm also in enough excrament as it is)).

 

Windsor

 

It's nothing to do with genes - the men in Fraserburgh are turning gay so as to avoid the attentions of my whoring dirty bag-lady of a mother.

[Windsor 2,233]

The Rev. Park has been very vocal on the issue locally - as can be seen by the role he seems to be taking at the General Assembly.

Given my opposition to him via email, I was invited to an 'open-floor' talk which he said beforehand would cover all view points. Instead it was a seminar setting out his viewpoints and stance. When I took him up on the point that he had failed to keep it unbiased, he said it wasn't supposed to be. I said before hand (and was proven right) that it was nothing more than an exercise to get more names on to the petition. Rev Park is an evangelical.

My stance is that Rev. Rennie was voted in by both the Congregation of his new charge and by Aberdeen Presbytery.

 

Rev Park believes we should discourage homosexuality not just because of the biblical texts, but because it is harmful to the individual. He said that homosexuals are more likely to suffer from depression, more likley to suffer from drug and alcohol abuse, he highlighted the usual HIV/AIDS argument. He went into the 'exit only' design of the anus stating that it was not designed for receiving, describing the complications that can arise from too much bum sex. Lastly, he said that homosexuals were more likely to become paedophiles.

 

But he assures me that he is not homophobic.

 

By the way, my first reply to the chain email has been branded as nasty and full of foul language. At the very most it is cheeky, and (having double checked) I did not swear once. The cheeky part came at the end when I suggested that if they were looking for all denomination signatures for their petition, the might want to try Fred Phelps of Westboro Baptist Church. (Unsurprisingly he has come out on their side ). If I was being nasty I would have called them a bunch of melons.

[honez 79]

He went into the 'exit only' design of the anus stating that it was not designed for receiving, describing the complications that can arise from too much bum sex.

He's a little bit presumptuous stating the anus was designed, but none-the-less, the mouth is definitely adapted to receive.

Tongue, lips, the hard/soft palate and the suction of the diaphragm are all ideally suited for "receiving" as he put it, and a diet slightly higher in protein won't do anyone any harm.

[Lard Bazaar 3,800]

He went into the 'exit only' design of the anus stating that it was not designed for receiving, describing the complications that can arise from too much bum sex.

He's a little bit presumptuous stating the anus was designed, but none-the-less, the mouth is definitely adapted to receive.

Tongue, lips, the hard/soft palate and the suction of the diaphragm are all ideally suited for "receiving" as he put it, and a diet slightly higher in protein won't do anyone any harm.

 

Urgh, you're talking about blow jobs, aren't you? This place is turning into a den of depravity.

 

 

I won't be leaving any time soon

[Windsor 2,233]

He went into the 'exit only' design of the anus stating that it was not designed for receiving, describing the complications that can arise from too much bum sex.

He's a little bit presumptuous stating the anus was designed, but none-the-less, the mouth is definitely adapted to receive.

Tongue, lips, the hard/soft palate and the suction of the diaphragm are all ideally suited for "receiving" as he put it, and a diet slightly higher in protein won't do anyone any harm.

 

I met the Rev Park last night. Its a shame you didn't post that earlier or I would have put that to him.

It is the first time I've bumped into him since our email exchange. It was quite uncomfortable, greeting each other with only grunts.

[Lady Grendel 139]

The gay minister debate....

 

It made the front page of The Southern Reporter, my local newspaper, too Windsor, even though we are about 300 miles south of Aberdeen. Seemingly 15 of the local bigots clergy have signed the petition against him. We were discussing this in my work on Thursday as one of my colleagues is gay, my boss was telling us she used to work with Edinburgh prostitutes and it's common knowledge among them that their busiest time of year is when the Church of Scotland General Assembly is in town, perhaps you should ask Rev. Parks about that . It just reinforces my theory that they are all a bunch of hypocritical bastards, I was forced to attend Sunday School at my local Church of Scotland as a child and on the rare occasions they had communion raspberry cordial was used instead of wine as alcohol is 'evil', yet most of the male church elders spent their Saturday nights getting blootered at the local bowling club .

[harrymcnallysblueandwhitearmy 1,689]

To précis, then...

I met the Rev Park last night...shame...bumped into him...uncomfortable...grunts.

[Windsor 2,233]

The gay minister debate....

 

It made the front page of The Southern Reporter, my local newspaper, too Windsor, even though we are about 300 miles south of Aberdeen. Seemingly 15 of the local bigots clergy have signed the petition against him. We were discussing this in my work on Thursday as one of my colleagues is gay, my boss was telling us she used to work with Edinburgh prostitutes and it's common knowledge among them that their busiest time of year is when the Church of Scotland General Assembly is in town, perhaps you should ask Rev. Parks about that . It just reinforces my theory that they are all a bunch of hypocritical bastards, I was forced to attend Sunday School at my local Church of Scotland as a child and on the rare occasions they had communion raspberry cordial was used instead of wine as alcohol is 'evil', yet most of the male church elders spent their Saturday nights getting blootered at the local bowling club .

 

The Rev. Park will be furious. He has lost for a second time in two days. Hopefully tomorrow will make it a third.

[Monoclinic 39]

Ooh, I feel the need for a separate thread created here, where you can post the email, your response and any of the aforementioned responses to same. Possibly a link to Fraserburg letters to ed online or something.

I'm sure between the collective might of DL intelligentsia, those foolish enough to stand in your way will be made to look like illiterate savages, and ground into the dirt. It doesn't matter what your stance on the matter was, I'm sure any/all of the DL community would be gracious enough to put their own moral codes aside and treat this as an exercise in total destruction of the opposition.

 

Do it! With Windy as our unwilling subject able spokesman* we could take over the world. First we take the Kirk, then we take Berlin?

 

* The Speaker being scapegoat apparent in line with modern tradition.

[Lard Bazaar 3,800]

The utter FUCKWEASELS that are delivering my new washing machine.

 

They have sent me a text today telling me that it will be delivered tomorrow between 10 and 1, which is inconvenient. So I rang them up to rebook the delivery. 'Right, I've cancelled that delivery for you' says the BINT on the phone. 'I want to rebook it, not cancel it,' I said. 'Well that's the process,' she says 'you have to cancel it, then phone back in an hour and rebook it', so I said 'so you're telling me that I have to ring again on your PREMIUM RATE TELEPHONE NUMBER in an hour because you can't just change the date of the delivery?' 'That's right,' said the vacant wench.

 

Is it just me?

[Madcow 6]

My top ten at the time of writing

 

1) Let us first Kill all the Chavs.

 

2) Abolish that annoying plastic packaging that is shaped to the product and then heat sealed with a seam like a soddin' pasty crust. When you finally manage to chew your way into the package with a Stanley knife, you end up with gashed hands from the raw plastic edges.

 

3) MP expenses. They get paid enough for sitting in their fat arses doing sweet f.a. Shouldn't their salary be used for living on, like the rest of us?

 

4) Overpaid footballers. £45,000 a week for 90 minutes 'work'? That we could all have some of that!

 

5) Lily Allen. God, how I wish I could punch her talentless smug face in.

 

6) Reailty TV and 'gritty, true life drama'. I live in 'real life' I want to watch escapist fiction.

 

7) Push bikes. If you want to use my road, pay bloody tax and insurance.

 

8) Coke adverts with Duffy squeaking like a friggin' constipated chipmunk.

 

9) Dogs that are smaller than cats.

 

10) Brussel Sprouts

[Lard Bazaar 3,800]

My top ten at the time of writing

 

1) Let us first Kill all the Chavs.

 

2) Abolish that annoying plastic packaging that is shaped to the product and then heat sealed with a seam like a soddin' pasty crust. When you finally manage to chew your way into the package with a Stanley knife, you end up with gashed hands from the raw plastic edges.

 

3) MP expenses. They get paid enough for sitting in their fat arses doing sweet f.a. Shouldn't their salary be used for living on, like the rest of us?

 

4) Overpaid footballers. £45,000 a week for 90 minutes 'work'? That we could all have some of that!

 

5) Lily Allen. God, how I wish I could punch her talentless smug face in.

 

6) Reailty TV and 'gritty, true life drama'. I live in 'real life' I want to watch escapist fiction.

 

7) Push bikes. If you want to use my road, pay bloody tax and insurance.

 

8) Coke adverts with Duffy squeaking like a friggin' constipated chipmunk.

 

9) Dogs that are smaller than cats.

 

10) Brussel Sprouts

 

Good shout. They should be trodden underfoot, like a pesky cockroach.

[Godot 149]

10) Brussel Sprouts

 

Steady on mad lady. Some of us like our Brussels sprouts.

[Tuber Mirum 125]

I quite like bicycles.

You should be cursing the idiots who design roads so badly.

Not just in relation to bicycles. British Motorways are a disaster even without cyclists on them.

[Madcow 6]

I quite like bicycles.

You should be cursing the idiots who design roads so badly.

Not just in relation to bicycles. British Motorways are a disaster even without cyclists on them.

Yes, I totally agree about roads in general. But I wish that bike riders had some duty of care. They should have to pass a test like any other road user and common sense should make them have insurance even if the Government don't. In Worcester, there's a silly old cow who creeps up behind you (on the pavement, I might add) then rings her bell to make you move out of her way. How I'd like to push her under the next 18 wheeler that comes by!

A bike is a wonderfully streamlined and economic way to travel (as long as your not going too far) but the fact that any old muppet can weave all over the place on one, like a drunken kitten, makes me shiver.

[Godot 149]

I quite like bicycles.

You should be cursing the idiots who design roads so badly.

Not just in relation to bicycles. British Motorways are a disaster even without cyclists on them.

Yes, I totally agree about roads in general. But I wish that bike riders had some duty of care. They should have to pass a test like any other road user and common sense should make them have insurance even if the Government don't. In Worcester, there's a silly old cow who creeps up behind you (on the pavement, I might add) then rings her bell to make you move out of her way. How I'd like to push her under the next 18 wheeler that comes by!

A bike is a wonderfully streamlined and economic way to travel (as long as your not going too far) but the fact that any old muppet can weave all over the place on one, like a drunken kitten, makes me shiver.

Don't move to Amsterdam.

 

By the way, welcome Madcow, I hope you will stick around. Now about these sprouts, you've got it all wrong. They're the best vegetable on the planet. My mother-in-law hates them which makes them even better. Every Christmas I hold a spoon over her plate and say "you'll have some of these won't you" all self-righteously and she says "no" through gritted teeth. It's just piling up the hate which suits me.

[Madcow 6]

I quite like bicycles.

You should be cursing the idiots who design roads so badly.

Not just in relation to bicycles. British Motorways are a disaster even without cyclists on them.

Yes, I totally agree about roads in general. But I wish that bike riders had some duty of care. They should have to pass a test like any other road user and common sense should make them have insurance even if the Government don't. In Worcester, there's a silly old cow who creeps up behind you (on the pavement, I might add) then rings her bell to make you move out of her way. How I'd like to push her under the next 18 wheeler that comes by!

A bike is a wonderfully streamlined and economic way to travel (as long as your not going too far) but the fact that any old muppet can weave all over the place on one, like a drunken kitten, makes me shiver.

Don't move to Amsterdam.

 

By the way, welcome Madcow, I hope you will stick around. Now about these sprouts, you've got it all wrong. They're the best vegetable on the planet. My mother-in-law hates them which makes them even better. Every Christmas I hold a spoon over her plate and say "you'll have some of these won't you" all self-righteously and she says "no" through gritted teeth. It's just piling up the hate which suits me.

 

Thank you for your words of welcome. I hope that we can have many discussions on the ridiculous in the future. Sadly my mother in law popped off a couple of years ago, but I used to taunt her with carrots. Just waving one at her could send her in to a dead faint. Happy memories indeed!

[harrymcnallysblueandwhitearmy 1,689]

Hmmm..

I run the risk of sounding like a Grumpy Old Man if I go on & on & on. Besides it is late and I need to do other things, like sleep.

 

So, for now, I will keep this short & say one of my hates (not just irritants, but hates), that I will not miss at all if they disappear forever:-

 

Pigeons.

 

 

They're mucky & spread diseases. So do rats, but at least they can be tested on in a lab, I guess. How dare a common pigeon defecate on one of our finest ever Britons, not just on one day, but every day. In particular, I would like to shoot the pigeon who broke our TV aieral this week.

 

Besides, the pigeon was a cocky little sh*t in Dastardly & Muttley. How I always hoped they'd catch him. I see that this is the 1st anniversary of the death of the voice of Dick Dastardly. In tribute, I will kill as many pigeons as possible tomorrow.

Dastardly should have signed up Saffer cricketer Jacques Rudolph, seen here in fine pigeon-obliterating form for Yorkshire last week. Enjoy, Ocky.

[DevonDeathTrip 2,358]

Hmmm..

I run the risk of sounding like a Grumpy Old Man if I go on & on & on. Besides it is late and I need to do other things, like sleep.

 

So, for now, I will keep this short & say one of my hates (not just irritants, but hates), that I will not miss at all if they disappear forever:-

 

Pigeons.

 

 

They're mucky & spread diseases. So do rats, but at least they can be tested on in a lab, I guess. How dare a common pigeon defecate on one of our finest ever Britons, not just on one day, but every day. In particular, I would like to shoot the pigeon who broke our TV aieral this week.

 

Besides, the pigeon was a cocky little sh*t in Dastardly & Muttley. How I always hoped they'd catch him. I see that this is the 1st anniversary of the death of the voice of Dick Dastardly. In tribute, I will kill as many pigeons as possible tomorrow.

Dastardly should have signed up Saffer cricketer Jacques Rudolph, seen here in fine pigeon-obliterating form for Yorkshire last week. Enjoy, Ocky.

 

There's a rumour going around that the pigeons are planning a revenge attack. I read it on Twitter.

[Toast 16,155]

Talking of killing pigeons, this scene always creases me up.

[honez 79]

Talking of killing pigeons, this scene always creases me up.

It's not as good as this defeathering.

[Lard Bazaar 3,800]

Life insurance companies.

 

I've got to have a f'ucking medical for mortgage purposes. Now, I've happily paid my mortgage for years, even though I'm fat and smokey, and now just because I'm changing companies they want to know how much I f'ucking weigh. Why? They didn't care that I was 15 stone when they gave me the original mortgage, and my obese features have not stopped me paying it for years, and now I'm three stone lighter, they will still think I'm a fat f'uck who can't breathe. W'ankers.

[Tempus Fugit 214]

.

[Lard Bazaar 3,800]

Schools. In particular, Youngest Lardy's school. Incompetent bunch of f'uckwits.

 

I've paid 175 quid for her to go on a French trip. Sent in all the travel crap, EHIC card, photos etc. They cashed the cheques but lost her payment card, so subsequently have not booked her on the trip, which is in four weeks time. Cue one crying child, one very pissed off mother, and, in about an hour's time, one French teacher with a perforated ear drum.