Room 101

[time 8,618]

"Pre", as in pre-planned, pre-order, pre-owned and such.

 

The act of planning requires that its done before action, otherwise its not planned.

 

I either order something or I don't. Even if its not immediately available, I'm still ordering it!

 

Pre-owned, meaning owned previously (as in second hand) is just the same as owned.

 

Its up there with using 'of' instead of 'have'!

[Windsor 2,233]

Fat people on pavements.

 

Sorry, but on two seperate occassions today fat people blocked my path, and held me up by walking at about 1 mile per hour. Why do they always travel in pairs?

[honez 79]

Fat people on pavements.

 

Sorry, but on two seperate occassions today fat people blocked my path, and held me up by walking at about 1 mile per hour. Why do they always travel in pairs?

Gravitational attraction: Neither has the energy, nor inclination to reach escape velocity to climb out of the gravity well of the other.

[Lard Bazaar 3,799]

Fat people on pavements.

 

Sorry, but on two seperate occassions today fat people blocked my path, and held me up by walking at about 1 mile per hour. Why do they always travel in pairs?

 

It's kind of like a back-up survival thing - if the pies run out we can eat each other.

[Magere Hein 1,400]

Fat people on pavements.

 

Sorry, but on two seperate occassions today fat people blocked my path, and held me up by walking at about 1 mile per hour. Why do they always travel in pairs?

Gravitational attraction: Neither has the energy, nor inclination to reach escape velocity to climb out of the gravity well of the other.

It's a Good Thing then that Really Fat People don't travel much, as they would eventually get so massive that they form a singularity, sucking in all matter that gets within their event horizon.

 

regards,

Hein

[sympathyforthedevil 11]

Fat people on pavements.

 

Sorry, but on two seperate occassions today fat people blocked my path, and held me up by walking at about 1 mile per hour. Why do they always travel in pairs?

 

"Separate" surely?

[Windsor 2,233]

The Diamond Jubilee emblem.

 

I think it is ok, but I seem to be in the minority. It is better than the 2012 Olympic logo, and much cheaper to design (approx £0.00).

 

Any opinions?

[Anubis the Jackal 77]

LINUX

 

Trying to upgrade a handed-down eeepc but seems to be exclusively designed for 1980's computer geeks.

 

[Magere Hein 1,400]

Bad programming.

 

As you may know, I'm a computer programmer, but unfortunately not working as one at the moment. The job I do now involves a web based application, written by imbeciles for imbeciles. For reasons I don't quite understand, every now and then this application, on closing, emits the following error message:

 

 

While this message has poetic qualities that Zen buddhists may appreciate, it's not exactly helpful.

 

Of course, this amusing little error is just annoying, as it doesn't do more damage than stun the operator. The bad thing is that the same program regularly, but unpredictably, kills Internet Explorer, putting all work done in that session in an unrecoverable state. The people who wrote that, reportedly for something like EUR 100,000, ought to be flogged in public.

 

regards,

Hein

[Gunjaman5000 30]

Sunset pictures on Google Earth. There are thousands of the bloody things, each one as average as the next.

 

Seen one, seen 'em all.

[Terminator 13]

F*cking God freaks!!!! (Here's an example)

 

While I'm on a roll.........I have an abiding HATRED for ignorant twats who believe that ONLY THEY know the "great truth" about God etc.

 

And, therefore, I submit Jehovah's Witnesses to Room 101. What the f*ck is going on?????? Their booklets are aimed at mental ages of 8 or less, yet they hand out these books as entry to their sect. These books (aimed at the mentally-limited - or 8 years old) purport to discuss all aspects of life and science - including the Big Bang - but after a neutral introduction, each article swiftly moves to the absurd conclusion that God is responsible for everything.

 

My experience of these nasty people is that they dismiss the Catholic Church for the child molestation problems, but will not admit that their cult is even more obscene. While slagging off the Catholic deviant priests, they are in complete denial that their man-led organisation is, per capita, more likely to abuse children than their "enemy".

 

I had to suffer a couple of JWs at home and, given I wasn't amenable to them or their presence, I was asked if I would like to discuss thing with them. I said "I'd be happy to.....if they listened to what I said. I said "A discussion is an opportunity to present your point and hear an alternative view, which may change your original opinion" Sadly, the lady said "That's OK. I'd be happy to argue with you just so I keep repeating my faith in God"...........JEEZ!!!!!!!!!

 

The good news is that Russia are about to ban Jehovah's Witnesses in their country.....as they are a money-making cult. Strange that the UK is slower than Russia

[time 8,618]

F*cking God freaks!!!! (Here's an example)

 

While I'm on a roll.........I have an abiding HATRED for ignorant twats who believe that ONLY THEY know the "great truth" about God etc.

 

And, therefore, I submit Jehovah's Witnesses to Room 101. What the f*ck is going on?????? Their booklets are aimed at mental ages of 8 or less, yet they hand out these books as entry to their sect. These books (aimed at the mentally-limited - or 8 years old) purport to discuss all aspects of life and science - including the Big Bang - but after a neutral introduction, each article swiftly moves to the absurd conclusion that God is responsible for everything.

 

My experience of these nasty people is that they dismiss the Catholic Church for the child molestation problems, but will not admit that their cult is even more obscene. While slagging off the Catholic deviant priests, they are in complete denial that their man-led organisation is, per capita, more likely to abuse children than their "enemy".

 

I had to suffer a couple of JWs at home and, given I wasn't amenable to them or their presence, I was asked if I would like to discuss thing with them. I said "I'd be happy to.....if they listened to what I said. I said "A discussion is an opportunity to present your point and hear an alternative view, which may change your original opinion" Sadly, the lady said "That's OK. I'd be happy to argue with you just so I keep repeating my faith in God"...........JEEZ!!!!!!!!!

 

The good news is that Russia are about to ban Jehovah's Witnesses in their country.....as they are a money-making cult. Strange that the UK is slower than Russia

 

I don't normally advocate violence, but in her case...

 

On the subject of Jehovah's Witnesses, many years ago when I was working in the states, a couple knocked at my apartment door so I invited them in for a chat. I don't know if I converted them or not, but they never came back after the third visit.

[Godot 149]

F*cking God freaks!!!! (Here's an example)

 

While I'm on a roll.........I have an abiding HATRED for ignorant twats who believe that ONLY THEY know the "great truth" about God etc.

 

And, therefore, I submit Jehovah's Witnesses to Room 101. What the f*ck is going on?????? Their booklets are aimed at mental ages of 8 or less, yet they hand out these books as entry to their sect. These books (aimed at the mentally-limited - or 8 years old) purport to discuss all aspects of life and science - including the Big Bang - but after a neutral introduction, each article swiftly moves to the absurd conclusion that God is responsible for everything.

 

My experience of these nasty people is that they dismiss the Catholic Church for the child molestation problems, but will not admit that their cult is even more obscene. While slagging off the Catholic deviant priests, they are in complete denial that their man-led organisation is, per capita, more likely to abuse children than their "enemy".

 

I had to suffer a couple of JWs at home and, given I wasn't amenable to them or their presence, I was asked if I would like to discuss thing with them. I said "I'd be happy to.....if they listened to what I said. I said "A discussion is an opportunity to present your point and hear an alternative view, which may change your original opinion" Sadly, the lady said "That's OK. I'd be happy to argue with you just so I keep repeating my faith in God"...........JEEZ!!!!!!!!!

 

The good news is that Russia are about to ban Jehovah's Witnesses in their country.....as they are a money-making cult. Strange that the UK is slower than Russia

What you need are some Mormon underpants. Worn on the outside they will see off any predatory JWs.

[Terminator 13]

What you need are some Mormon underpants. Worn on the outside they will see off any predatory JWs.

Thanks Godot. Unfortunately, the "wimmin" that accrete around these mad cults are repulsive. But I will bear you wise words for the future. Their failure to have (retain) a man seems to propel these simpletons into a Man-driven cult....where only men can be in control. I know...it doesn't make sense....

[Magere Hein 1,400]

F*cking God freaks!!!! (Here's an example)

I usually recommend a stiff dose of reality as a cure for stupidity, but I doubt reality has entered that dweeb's mind in the last few years. This is your mind on God.

 

While I'm on a roll.........I have an abiding HATRED for ignorant twats who believe that ONLY THEY know the "great truth" about God etc.

And, therefore, I submit Jehovah's Witnesses to Room 101.

I was raised with an attitude of tolerance towards nutters, but it can be hard. Johova's Witnesses, Scientologists, Christian fanatics, Halibut fanatics, Holocaust deniers, voters for Geert Wilders, the list goes on.

 

I think the same mental processes that allow humans to work effectively in groups, together with our imagination and love for storymaking, make us vulnerable to viral infections like religion and other ideologies.

 

regards,

Hein

[CarolAnn 926]

I was driving down the street today and pulled in behind a car with a bumper sticker that said "God is Pro-Life."

 

Amazingly enough, the only thing that crossed my mind was all the times god killed people in the bible. So I have decided that the only time god is pro-life is between conception and birth, and I'm not so sure about that.

[sympathyforthedevil 11]

F*cking God freaks!!!! (Here's an example)

I usually recommend a stiff dose of reality as a cure for stupidity, but I doubt reality has entered that dweeb's mind in the last few years. This is your mind on God.

 

 

She needs to get laid, badly.

[Spade_Cooley 9,538]

F*cking God freaks!!!! (Here's an example)

I usually recommend a stiff dose of reality as a cure for stupidity, but I doubt reality has entered that dweeb's mind in the last few years. This is your mind on God.

 

 

She needs to get laid, badly.

 

Y'all know this video was a pisstake, right? I mean it's pretty obvious from watching it.

[sympathyforthedevil 11]

F*cking God freaks!!!! (Here's an example)

I usually recommend a stiff dose of reality as a cure for stupidity, but I doubt reality has entered that dweeb's mind in the last few years. This is your mind on God.

 

 

She needs to get laid, badly.

 

Y'all know this video was a pisstake, right? I mean it's pretty obvious from watching it.

 

Hmm apparently you're right:

 

but no it wasn't "pretty obvious", fact is there are fundamentalist nutters out there who sound just like that. Good prank though

[Magere Hein 1,400]

F*cking God freaks!!!! (Here's an example)

I usually recommend a stiff dose of reality as a cure for stupidity, but I doubt reality has entered that dweeb's mind in the last few years. This is your mind on God.

She needs to get laid, badly.

Y'all know this video was a pisstake, right? I mean it's pretty obvious from watching it.

Hmm apparently you're right:

but no it wasn't "pretty obvious", fact is there are fundamentalist nutters out there who sound just like that. Good prank though

Hook, line and sinker and a bit of the rod as well.

 

In that part of humanity it's very hard to tell prank from serious. Fred "God hates fags" Phelps and his Westboro Baptist Church are not joking. What his god has against a smoke is beyond me.

 

regards,

Hein

[Rotten Ali 600]

Right - I'm putting ants in Room 101 - since I don't want them in my kitchen.

 

The little flockers are going to get a real kicking tomorrow afternoon. The dishwasher is coming out and the backboard under the sink. I'll be aiming to kill hundreds and they best understand - move out - or die!

[Bald rick 9]

Right - I'm putting ants in Room 101 - since I don't want them in my kitchen

 

When you've done that, can you come round and get rid of the slugs in our kitchen? Nearly every sodding morning there are little shiny pathways on the breadboard. God knows where the bastards are getting in.

[Terminator 13]

Right - I'm putting ants in Room 101 - since I don't want them in my kitchen.

 

The little flockers are going to get a real kicking tomorrow afternoon. The dishwasher is coming out and the backboard under the sink. I'll be aiming to kill hundreds and they best understand - move out - or die!

Every year, the ants start to pour through my doors etc. The way I see it, this fresh brood is checking out it's territory (and that'll happen yearly). However, after a few days (when the numbers build up), I splatter the lot of them.....daily. They soon learn their boundaries.

[Lard Bazaar 3,799]

Right - I'm putting ants in Room 101 - since I don't want them in my kitchen

 

When you've done that, can you come round and get rid of the slugs in our kitchen? Nearly every sodding morning there are little shiny pathways on the breadboard. God knows where the bastards are getting in.

 

 

I used to have the same problem in my old house - on many occasions I would stumble down in the early hours with a raging hangover to get a drink, and step on one - FUCKING GROSS is the only term I can describe having fresh dead slug between your toes. They would also find their way into the open washing machine and then get spun-dried on the kids school shirts. Slugs are the most disgusting creature on this earth, they are pointless and should all be set on fire.

[time 8,618]

Right - I'm putting ants in Room 101 - since I don't want them in my kitchen

 

When you've done that, can you come round and get rid of the slugs in our kitchen? Nearly every sodding morning there are little shiny pathways on the breadboard. God knows where the bastards are getting in.

 

 

I used to have the same problem in my old house - on many occasions I would stumble down in the early hours with a raging hangover to get a drink, and step on one - FUCKING GROSS is the only term I can describe having fresh dead slug between your toes. They would also find their way into the open washing machine and then get spun-dried on the kids school shirts. Slugs are the most disgusting creature on this earth, they are pointless and should all be set on fire.

I sympathise. A few years ago, I had an invasion of slugs in the bathroom. There's nothing quite like discovering you've been scrubbing your important little places with slug-encrusted sponges and brushes.