Lard Bazaar 3,799 Posted May 19, 2012 Getting fucking old. My smallest child turned 15 today. My delightful boyfriend pointed out 'just think, that means next year she'll be 16, Eldest will be 20 and you'll be 40'. Yeh. Thanks for that. How about fucking the fuck off? On the plus side, she does think I'm a living legend as for her birthday I managed to secure her tickets to see those musical genii One Direction. She nearly pissed my bed when she opened her card. 2 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
the_engineer 1,415 Posted May 19, 2012 Getting fucking old. My smallest child turned 15 today. My delightful boyfriend pointed out 'just think, that means next year she'll be 16, Eldest will be 20 and you'll be 40'. Yeh. Thanks for that. How about fucking the fuck off? On the plus side, she does think I'm a living legend as for her birthday I managed to secure her tickets to see those musical genii One Direction. She nearly pissed my bed when she opened her card. aww i can't wait to become a dad one day , they say its one of the few things in life that actually live up and surpass the hype . Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Lard Bazaar 3,799 Posted May 20, 2012 Getting fucking old. My smallest child turned 15 today. My delightful boyfriend pointed out 'just think, that means next year she'll be 16, Eldest will be 20 and you'll be 40'. Yeh. Thanks for that. How about fucking the fuck off? On the plus side, she does think I'm a living legend as for her birthday I managed to secure her tickets to see those musical genii One Direction. She nearly pissed my bed when she opened her card. aww i can't wait to become a dad one day , they say its one of the few things in life that actually live up and surpass the hype . At the risk of sounding totally cheesemongous, being a parent means that you will, throughout your life, experience every single emotion there is to experience. Kids make you laugh and cry, they make you shout, they make you worry, they make you feel the strongest love you ever felt, they make you tired, they make you skint, they make you think that you are going completely fucking mental, they make you wonder why you ever bothered, and then they make you wonder why you don't have 'just one more'......and then you very quickly forget about that idea because you remember that you actually like sleeping and not being covered in vomit and poo. But the look on their little faces when you've got them One Direction tickets makes your heart swell. And then you remember that you've got to sit outside the NEC for five hours while they're in there screaming like total lunatics, and then have a two hour drive back home with two teenage girls who will smell of urine, and whose only vocabulary will be 'OMG, WHATEVER, LOL, LIKE, TOTES AMAZEBALLS'. I recommend it 1 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
the_engineer 1,415 Posted May 20, 2012 Getting fucking old. My smallest child turned 15 today. My delightful boyfriend pointed out 'just think, that means next year she'll be 16, Eldest will be 20 and you'll be 40'. Yeh. Thanks for that. How about fucking the fuck off? On the plus side, she does think I'm a living legend as for her birthday I managed to secure her tickets to see those musical genii One Direction. She nearly pissed my bed when she opened her card. aww i can't wait to become a dad one day , they say its one of the few things in life that actually live up and surpass the hype . At the risk of sounding totally cheesemongous, being a parent means that you will, throughout your life, experience every single emotion there is to experience. Kids make you laugh and cry, they make you shout, they make you worry, they make you feel the strongest love you ever felt, they make you tired, they make you skint, they make you think that you are going completely fucking mental, they make you wonder why you ever bothered, and then they make you wonder why you don't have 'just one more'......and then you very quickly forget about that idea because you remember that you actually like sleeping and not being covered in vomit and poo. But the look on their little faces when you've got them One Direction tickets makes your heart swell. And then you remember that you've got to sit outside the NEC for five hours while they're in there screaming like total lunatics, and then have a two hour drive back home with two teenage girls who will smell of urine, and whose only vocabulary will be 'OMG, WHATEVER, LOL, LIKE, TOTES AMAZEBALLS'. I recommend it haha I can't wait Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Toast 16,144 Posted May 20, 2012 then have a two hour drive back home with two teenage girls who will smell of urine, and whose only vocabulary will be 'OMG, WHATEVER, LOL, LIKE, TOTES AMAZEBALLS'. You mean they'll be texting each other while sitting in the same car? Yes, I can believe that. 1 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
CarolAnn 926 Posted May 22, 2012 And then you become a grandparent and that is even better. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
BadEgg 38 Posted May 26, 2012 The collection date of the dustmen being changed from a Thursday(when I'm at work) to a Saturday(nice lay in) thankyou very much Sutton Council you twats Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
the_engineer 1,415 Posted May 27, 2012 The collection date of the dustmen being changed from a Thursday(when I'm at work) to a Saturday(nice lay in) thankyou very much Sutton Council you twats You could put the rubbish out on Thursday as normal and let it sit in the road or alley , or on friday that is what i do when they occasionally change it to weekends in my area. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Lard Bazaar 3,799 Posted May 28, 2012 My FUCKING NEIGHBOURS. I'm sure I must have ranted about them before. They're so fucking selfish. For years now, I've had to put up with listening to their fucking telly BOOM through my walls - he obviously has some sort of games console and plays Let's Bomb Iraq EVERY NIGHT - I am not exaggerating when I tell you that my bookshelves shake every few seconds when he's just managed to hand grenade a load of innocent Iraqi children on his TV. I have tried talking to them in a jokey way about it, which didn't work. So then I got angry and went and banged on their door one night at 1145 - he couldn't hear me banging because his TV was so loud. So I left a very polite but firm note on his car. Absolutely no improvement at all. They are so damn selfish. Anyhow, last time we had some stormy weather, unfortunately one of my fence panels between our back gardens blew down. I have unfortunately been unable to repair it yet, as (as they are well aware), I am skint. They have been making snidey remarks to my daughter about the fence. Eventually however, I have now managed to order the required fence panels, so my loving boyfriend mentioned to them that the fence should be fixed within the next few weeks, and that they would need to remove their patio light from my fence panel (that they affixed TO MY FENCE without asking my permission, but I let that one go). There is also a tree by this fence that will require trimming when we fix the fence. Yesterday, they kindly told my teenage daughter (who's absolutely nothing to do with it) that if we trimmed the tree at the moment, we would be breaking the law as there is a bird's nest in it (I did not know this). Having checked this information, they are indeed correct. Well, the stupid fuckers should have kept their mouths shut, because, from the information I've found, I am not allowed to trim the tree until 1 August. I will at that point be on holiday for two weeks, so the fence will now not be fixed until at least the end of August (ie the end of summer) - so they are going to have to put up with a massive gap in our fence for yet another three months. Now this bothers me not, as I never go in my garden except to hang my massive pants on the line - however they are sun worshippers, and are really pissed off at the lack of privacy. And what they really won't like is that I'm putting up a 2 metre fence all the way round my back garden, and all the way around my front too, so any sun they get in either of their gardens will soon be none at all. Well tough shit, twats - if you'd have kept your gob shut the fence would have been fixed, and if you hadn't been such cunts about the telly I wouldn't be being a cunt about a tall fence. Gosh, I really needed that rant. 1 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Grim Up North 3,726 Posted May 28, 2012 'except to hang my massive pants on the line' Phwoooaaarrrrrr!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Lard Bazaar 3,799 Posted May 28, 2012 Fucking Eurosport. It's supposed to be 'LIVE WORLD SUPERBIKES', not 'WORLD SUPERBIKES WHEN THIS FUCKING DULL TENNIS HAS FINISHED', you cunts. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Lord Fellatio Nelson 6,219 Posted May 28, 2012 Fucking Eurosport. It's supposed to be 'LIVE WORLD SUPERBIKES', not 'WORLD SUPERBIKES WHEN THIS FUCKING DULL TENNIS HAS FINISHED', you cunts. Anything else you want to have a shout about? You want a cat to kick the shit out of? Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Lard Bazaar 3,799 Posted May 28, 2012 Fucking Eurosport. It's supposed to be 'LIVE WORLD SUPERBIKES', not 'WORLD SUPERBIKES WHEN THIS FUCKING DULL TENNIS HAS FINISHED', you cunts. Anything else you want to have a shout about? You want a cat to kick the shit out of? That would be funny, if it weren't for the fact that I'm about to have FIVE of the furry, evil, smug-looking, little BASTARDS move into my house - I'll have plenty of them to kick then Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest David Posted June 1, 2012 That snippet they show every time there's a World Cup - Paul Gascoigne crying after England got beat in the semi - finals by Germany. That must be the most profitable image BBC Sport's ever had. And his so - called wondergoal against my Scotland team at Euro 96. I'll never forgive him for that! Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
the_engineer 1,415 Posted June 1, 2012 That snippet they show every time there's a World Cup - Paul Gascoigne crying after England got beat in the semi - finals by Germany. That must be the most profitable image BBC Sport's ever had. And his so - called wondergoal against my Scotland team at Euro 96. I'll never forgive him for that! Apparently he was pissed off his t#ts when he scored that goal against Scotland. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
BadEgg 38 Posted June 3, 2012 Adrian Chiles - the smug hamster faced bastard,he is so happy he got that gig presenting ITVs live football,I can't face having to see that lemon for a month now on my TV,plus everytime Croatia play he'll mention his Croatian mother FUCK OFF!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Lard Bazaar 3,799 Posted June 3, 2012 Adrian Chiles - the smug hamster faced bastard,he is so happy he got that gig presenting ITVs live football,I can't face having to see that lemon for a month now on my TV,plus everytime Croatia play he'll mention his Croatian mother FUCK OFF!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I prefer him to that Tweenie-faced bint Bleakley. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Windsor 2,233 Posted June 13, 2012 The English obsession with the 'hosepipe'. It's only bloody grass... Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Paul Bearer 6,102 Posted June 17, 2012 Not too sure where to post this, but error 404 can be a pain. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest David Posted June 22, 2012 YouTube videos of a kids' show called Button Moon. My seven - year - old cousin's terrified of it. If I'm with him, he screams when it's shown on YouTube, We often watch the kids' shows on YouTube - but he hates that one. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
the_engineer 1,415 Posted June 24, 2012 That snippet they show every time there's a World Cup - Paul Gascoigne crying after England got beat in the semi - finals by Germany. That must be the most profitable image BBC Sport's ever had. And his so - called wondergoal against my Scotland team at Euro 96. I'll never forgive him for that! saw this recent interview with Gazza really doesn't look 45 looks more like he is in his 60s . my dad is 58 this year and looks younger . Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
time 8,617 Posted July 25, 2012 Tipping Point. A game show so tedious and banal the BBC wouldn't even consider it for the Saturday night National Lottery game show slot. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Windsor 2,233 Posted July 29, 2012 Tipping Point. A game show so tedious and banal the BBC wouldn't even consider it for the Saturday night National Lottery game show slot. Haha. I agree. It is almost as bad as that game show with the hare (the name escapes me). My mum likes Tipping Point though...always on the edge of her seat... Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Paul Bearer 6,102 Posted July 29, 2012 Tipping Point. A game show so tedious and banal the BBC wouldn't even consider it for the Saturday night National Lottery game show slot. Caught the last 10 minutes of it on Friday (only 'cos you mentioned it here) what a load of bollocks. What a pile of shite! (etc) Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
the_engineer 1,415 Posted July 29, 2012 Tipping Point. A game show so tedious and banal the BBC wouldn't even consider it for the Saturday night National Lottery game show slot. Caught the last 10 minutes of it on Friday (only 'cos you mentioned it here) what a load of bollocks. What a pile of shite! (etc) God ITV have gone cheap , £50 pound chips for £10,000 pound prize money and not all win that . Far cry from million pound jackpots on who wants to be a millionaire. TV really has been shit since about 2003 IMO and its just gets worse and worse every year. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
