Room 101

[Lard Bazaar 3,800]

I'm with the pitchforks at dawn mob. I particulary liked it when they were out done by Joe Public, which in Judith and CJ's case, was more often then they cared for. Can't say I miss it though, perhaps I should be on the look out for the tetes d'oeuf?

 

 

Oh, for entertainment value here is CJ's CV Nice dossy subjects. Sorry that's rude of me, though learning facts parrot fashion is one thing, Einstein however is another. I'd like to see if we have any head hunters out here who'd give their honest opinion.

 

Though credit where it's due; if the DVD player was made from a prawn cocktail packet of crisps, I'll be impressed.

 

And if any hackers can add Captain Oates's w**ker smiley to CJ's CV, I'll give them a medal.

 

 

I'll do better than that - if anyone can add the w**ker smiley to CJ's CV, I'll give them a wank. Now that's got to be an incentive to try.

[The For Whores Man 4]

This is where we are putting thing/people we wish to die forever, yes?

 

I wish to die all European people who are not liking Eurovision Song Contest. In my student "court of residence" I try to make Eurovision Song Contest party, but nobody is even watching it (maybe some gay boys). I can maybe watch on my own this year

 

At home everybody is watching Eurovision, we are making a party and everybody is gets very drunked. In England,m nobody is watching about it, and nobody even know which country it is at (last year's winner, so Helsinki in Finland)

 

If you are not watching it, maybe you don't like Europe (die) or maybe you don't liking songs or competition (already you are dead???). I think everybody must watch it and enjoy Europe together singing and choosing the best song.

 

p.s. This year, I tihkn Moldova will win. Always pretty grils get lot of points. Not Israel they are evil singing about killing arab peoples with nulear bomb I hope Spain is getting a lot of points but the entry is this year not so pretty.

[Monoclinic 39]

I'm with the pitchforks at dawn mob. I particulary liked it when they were out done by Joe Public, which in Judith and CJ's case, was more often then they cared for. Can't say I miss it though, perhaps I should be on the look out for the tetes d'oeuf?

 

 

Oh, for entertainment value here is CJ's CV Nice dossy subjects. Sorry that's rude of me, though learning facts parrot fashion is one thing, Einstein however is another. I'd like to see if we have any head hunters out here who'd give their honest opinion.

 

Though credit where it's due; if the DVD player was made from a prawn cocktail packet of crisps, I'll be impressed.

 

And if any hackers can add Captain Oates's w**ker smiley to CJ's CV, I'll give them a medal.

 

 

I'll do better than that - if anyone can add the w**ker smiley to CJ's CV, I'll give them a wank. Now that's got to be an incentive to try.

 

Unless the w**ker puts it there himself desperately hoping that you hold your promise to hold a DL member's member. That would be an awful situation to be in - are you hands big enough after all he's one big prick...

 

Cue tumbleweed...

[Lard Bazaar 3,800]

I'm with the pitchforks at dawn mob. I particulary liked it when they were out done by Joe Public, which in Judith and CJ's case, was more often then they cared for. Can't say I miss it though, perhaps I should be on the look out for the tetes d'oeuf?

 

 

Oh, for entertainment value here is CJ's CV Nice dossy subjects. Sorry that's rude of me, though learning facts parrot fashion is one thing, Einstein however is another. I'd like to see if we have any head hunters out here who'd give their honest opinion.

 

Though credit where it's due; if the DVD player was made from a prawn cocktail packet of crisps, I'll be impressed.

 

And if any hackers can add Captain Oates's w**ker smiley to CJ's CV, I'll give them a medal.

 

 

I'll do better than that - if anyone can add the w**ker smiley to CJ's CV, I'll give them a wank. Now that's got to be an incentive to try.

 

Unless the w**ker puts it there himself desperately hoping that you hold your promise to hold a DL member's member. That would be an awful situation to be in - are you hands big enough after all he's one big prick...

 

Cue tumbleweed...

 

I have quite small hands, but that's OK because they make little willies look bigger when they're clenched in my sweaty palms.

[Real Madron 6]

I'm with the pitchforks at dawn mob. I particulary liked it when they were out done by Joe Public, which in Judith and CJ's case, was more often then they cared for. Can't say I miss it though, perhaps I should be on the look out for the tetes d'oeuf?

 

 

Oh, for entertainment value here is CJ's CV Nice dossy subjects. Sorry that's rude of me, though learning facts parrot fashion is one thing, Einstein however is another. I'd like to see if we have any head hunters out here who'd give their honest opinion.

 

Though credit where it's due; if the DVD player was made from a prawn cocktail packet of crisps, I'll be impressed.

 

And if any hackers can add Captain Oates's w**ker smiley to CJ's CV, I'll give them a medal.

 

 

I'll do better than that - if anyone can add the w**ker smiley to CJ's CV, I'll give them a wank. Now that's got to be an incentive to try.

 

Unless the w**ker puts it there himself desperately hoping that you hold your promise to hold a DL member's member. That would be an awful situation to be in - are you hands big enough after all he's one big prick...

 

Cue tumbleweed...

 

I have quite small hands, but that's OK because they make little willies look bigger when they're clenched in my sweaty palms.

oh my god.

[Dave to the Grave 11]

I'm with the pitchforks at dawn mob. I particulary liked it when they were out done by Joe Public, which in Judith and CJ's case, was more often then they cared for. Can't say I miss it though, perhaps I should be on the look out for the tetes d'oeuf?

 

 

Oh, for entertainment value here is CJ's CV Nice dossy subjects. Sorry that's rude of me, though learning facts parrot fashion is one thing, Einstein however is another. I'd like to see if we have any head hunters out here who'd give their honest opinion.

 

Though credit where it's due; if the DVD player was made from a prawn cocktail packet of crisps, I'll be impressed.

 

And if any hackers can add Captain Oates's w**ker smiley to CJ's CV, I'll give them a medal.

 

 

I'll do better than that - if anyone can add the w**ker smiley to CJ's CV, I'll give them a wank. Now that's got to be an incentive to try.

 

Unless the w**ker puts it there himself desperately hoping that you hold your promise to hold a DL member's member. That would be an awful situation to be in - are you hands big enough after all he's one big prick...

 

Cue tumbleweed...

 

I have quite small hands, but that's OK because they make little willies look bigger when they're clenched in my sweaty palms.

oh my god.

Sounds like it was a good one.

[honez 79]

I have quite small hands, but that's OK because they make little willies look bigger when they're clenched in my sweaty palms.

Emphasis on the plural was a Freudian slip, no doubt.

Unfortunately, the converse would apply when asking; does this make my butt look big?

[Anubis the Jackal 77]

And here is where we put the Jeremy Beadle gag which ends with the punchline

 

 

 

"...on the other hand, it's enormous!"

 

 

 

By the way, whilst you are all polishing your pitchforks and warming up the barrel of tar, may I point out that I haven't the faintest idea who these people you are roping me in to lynch actually are. Guess I don't watch enough television...not a bad thing really.

[Monoclinic 39]

And here is where we put the Jeremy Beadle gag which ends with the punchline

 

 

 

"...on the other hand, it's enormous!"

 

 

 

By the way, whilst you are all polishing your pitchforks and warming up the barrel of tar, may I point out that I haven't the faintest idea who these people you are roping me in to lynch actually are. Guess I don't watch enough television...not a bad thing really.

 

[Windsor 2,233]

This ones hard to title:

 

People who come up with shitty excuses when they cannot come up with a decent argument.

 

I have recently found myself in debate on the issue of the Scottish Highland's after 1745.

Now, I know this is a dividing issue but bear with me.

 

I was discussing the Scottish Election results on another website (not unlike myspace) and my anti-nationalist comments took the attention of some nationalists. Anyway, given the victim mentality of some Scots regarding their treatment at the hands of those bloody English Imperialists, the issue somehow got to the aftermath of Culloden.

 

Anyway, the nationalists went with the argument of the English tried to wipeout the highlanders. No reason was given - just because they could. In fact they wanted to extinguish the 'Highland Race'.

My argument was that the British forces went up to deal with the fleeing Jacobites to put an end to the culture of rebellion. (The arguments were more detailed than that but I won't bore you further).

 

So we are arguing on and on and on. He could not argue my point down and so reached the following conclusion.

 

He was right because I have fallen for propoganda from London, and I'm the victim of English authors re-writing history.

 

That annoys me. The thing that annoys me about this is thatit suggests that they are the intellegent ones because somehow they have resisted this form of brainwashing where the rest of us have fallen under the spell. How can you argue out of that?

[Tuber Mirum 125]

Your mate has a point though.

 

I mean if Scotland were independent at the moment, I bet the history they'd teach you at your Scottish university would have a somewhat different spin on it to what they teach you now.

 

 

And it'd still be true, truth being relative and all that.

[Windsor 2,233]

Your mate has a point though.

 

I mean if Scotland were independent at the moment, I bet the history they'd teach you at your Scottish university would have a somewhat different spin on it to what they teach you now.

 

 

And it'd still be true, truth being relative and all that.

 

So tell me - how has he resisted this Unionist ploy of brainwashing?

[Tuber Mirum 125]

Probably only ever reads the Sunday Post.

[DevonDeathTrip 2,358]

This ones hard to title:

 

People who come up with shitty excuses when they cannot come up with a decent argument.

 

I have recently found myself in debate on the issue of the Scottish Highland's after 1745.

Now, I know this is a dividing issue but bear with me.

 

I was discussing the Scottish Election results on another website (not unlike myspace) and my anti-nationalist comments took the attention of some nationalists. Anyway, given the victim mentality of some Scots regarding their treatment at the hands of those bloody English Imperialists, the issue somehow got to the aftermath of Culloden.

 

Anyway, the nationalists went with the argument of the English tried to wipeout the highlanders. No reason was given - just because they could. In fact they wanted to extinguish the 'Highland Race'.

My argument was that the British forces went up to deal with the fleeing Jacobites to put an end to the culture of rebellion. (The arguments were more detailed than that but I won't bore you further).

 

So we are arguing on and on and on. He could not argue my point down and so reached the following conclusion.

 

He was right because I have fallen for propoganda from London, and I'm the victim of English authors re-writing history.

 

That annoys me. The thing that annoys me about this is thatit suggests that they are the intellegent ones because somehow they have resisted this form of brainwashing where the rest of us have fallen under the spell. How can you argue out of that?

 

Mention of Culloden brings back fond memories of the summer of 1994 when I spent several days in a field near the battle site in a stolen camper van, with someone else's girlfiend, a large bag of illegal substances and several gallons of beer. Character building stuff.

 

I'm all in favour of a devolved Scotland, Windsor. In fact I'm all in favour of an independent Devon and Cornwall, I propose digging a canal from Minehead to Lyme Regis, turning the two counties in to an island, thereby symbolically severing the ties that bind us to London.

[Windsor 2,233]

People who don't know things they probably should.

 

When at work today I met someone who didn't know who Gordon Brown is.

Wouldn't be so bad but it wasn't even a resident.

 

The same person is going to sit an exam on German History (1815-1939) this week and still doesn't understand who Bismarck is or what role he played in the unification of Germany.

 

In one of my now common SNP rants, I found myself explaining how MPs serve in London and MSPs serve in Edinburgh. This was in relation to Alex Salmond, currently my MP (Banff and Buchan) and MSP for the Gordon Constituency (and First Minister of Scotland as from Wednesday). I have already drafted my letter calling for him to step down as my MP. Yes - I know I'm sad.

 

The best one yet came from a typical blonde. She thought that Alex Salmond was Prime Minister of Britain because he won the Scottish election. She thought that's why Tony Blair was leaving office.

 

And they still wonder how the Scots population managed to spoil 142,000 ballot papers...

[honez 79]

And they still wonder how the Scots population managed to spoil 142,000 ballot papers...

Because it's meant to be anonymous, but they signed their names in the box — you know, with an X.

[Monoclinic 39]

People who don't know things they probably should.

 

When at work today I met someone who didn't know who Gordon Brown is.

Wouldn't be so bad but it wasn't even a resident.

 

The same person is going to sit an exam on German History (1815-1939) this week and still doesn't understand who Bismarck is or what role he played in the unification of Germany.

 

In one of my now common SNP rants, I found myself explaining how MPs serve in London and MSPs serve in Edinburgh. This was in relation to Alex Salmond, currently my MP (Banff and Buchan) and MSP for the Gordon Constituency (and First Minister of Scotland as from Wednesday). I have already drafted my letter calling for him to step down as my MP. Yes - I know I'm sad.

 

The best one yet came from a typical blonde. She thought that Alex Salmond was Prime Minister of Britain because he won the Scottish election. She thought that's why Tony Blair was leaving office.

 

And they still wonder how the Scots population managed to spoil 142,000 ballot papers...

 

 

 

I work with people who have at least a masters or at best a PhD, yet I still find it difficult to find a Belgian who has heard of Ayers Rock. In fact I have found one person out of at least 15 people (I gave up counting the number of people I've asked). Thankfully we are not geographers and so it goes to prove that it's not necessarily intelligence that counts when it comes to fact base knowledge... I fear I am working back to the eggheads again!

[Entropy 5]

This is where we are putting thing/people we wish to die forever, yes?

 

I wish to die all European people who are not liking Eurovision Song Contest. In my student "court of residence" I try to make Eurovision Song Contest party, but nobody is even watching it (maybe some gay boys). I can maybe watch on my own this year

 

At home everybody is watching Eurovision, we are making a party and everybody is gets very drunked. In England,m nobody is watching about it, and nobody even know which country it is at (last year's winner, so Helsinki in Finland)

 

If you are not watching it, maybe you don't like Europe (die) or maybe you don't liking songs or competition (already you are dead???). I think everybody must watch it and enjoy Europe together singing and choosing the best song.

 

p.s. This year, I tihkn Moldova will win. Always pretty grils get lot of points. Not Israel they are evil singing about killing arab peoples with nulear bomb I hope Spain is getting a lot of points but the entry is this year not so pretty.

 

See, and here's me thinking that I'd like to put the Eurovision Song Contest on my list of things the world would be better off without. Just goes to show...

[Guest Guest]

Ticketmaster - adding a service charge at more than 10% of the ticket face value (per ticket) and then adding a postage charge on top, it's just extortion. What annoys me even more is that you can't go to the venue and pay cash to avoid additional charges because the ticket agents effectively have a monopoly on sales. The only alternative appears to be Ebay!

[Banshees Scream 110]

Because it's meant to be anonymous, but they signed their names in the box — you know, with an X.

 

Be careful of what you sign. For you can not erase your name.

[Madame Defarge 21]

Highwaters, otherwise known as flood pants. Like when you wash your jeans, and now they're too short,

flapping hideously around the ankles. Eurovision can't be any worse than that. Later, I think I'll search

my 845,152 cable channels and see if I can find it.

[TLC 9]

Because it's meant to be anonymous, but they signed their names in the box — you know, with an X.

 

Be careful of what you sign. For you can not erase your name.

Unless you sign in pencil, in which case an eraser works fine.

[CarolAnn 926]

Because it's meant to be anonymous, but they signed their names in the box — you know, with an X.

 

Be careful of what you sign. For you can not erase your name.

Unless you sign in pencil, in which case an eraser works fine.

 

I'm good with a shredder.

[Real Madron 6]

Not that i've got anything against disabled people, but the Paralympics f**k me off a bit. don't get me wrong, i'm all for equality and all that, but - i mean, take the 100 metres for example. The guy in second place has got a wooden leg and a concrete hip or something, and the bloke in 1st has got a sore thumb and a toothache. wheres the f*****g equality there?

[harrymcnallysblueandwhitearmy 1,689]

Not that i've got anything against disabled people, but the Paralympics f**k me off a bit. don't get me wrong, i'm all for equality and all that, but - i mean, take the 100 metres for example. The guy in second place has got a wooden leg and a concrete hip or something, and the bloke in 1st has got a sore thumb and a toothache. wheres the f*****g equality there?

 

Aye, it's all a fix. Just like the Special Olympics