Room 101

[themaninblack 2,112]

It's Biggles I feel sorry for. Fancy getting saddled with a name like that. Larkin was right, your parent really do fuck you up...

[Lord Fellatio Nelson 6,132]

It's Biggles I feel sorry for. Fancy getting saddled with a name like that. Larkin was right, your parent really do fuck you up...

Biggles will grow up in a World inhabited by Livingstones, Tarquins and Eliza Doolittle Farquhars.

To put it into context, young Biggles will not stand out from the crowd and will live a life that is totally alien to the rest of us mere mortals.

This lad wasnt just born with a silver spoon in his mouth, he was born with a whole fuggin African Gold mine in his lil chops.

Fuck, does anybody REALLY think that this chap is going to go to Bash St School, leave at 16 without qualifications and work in McDonalds?

[Bibliogryphon 8,650]

It's Biggles I feel sorry for. Fancy getting saddled with a name like that. Larkin was right, your parent really do fuck you up...

Biggles will grow up in a World inhabited by Livingstones, Tarquins and Eliza Doolittle Farquhars.

To put it into context, young Biggles will not stand out from the crowd and will live a life that is totally alien to the rest of us mere mortals.

This lad wasnt just born with a silver spoon in his mouth, he was born with a whole fuggin African Gold mine in his lil chops.

Fuck, does anybody REALLY think that this chap is going to go to Bash St School, leave at 16 without qualifications and work in McDonalds?

 

Yes but fast forward 25 years as all our bodies are collapsing around us and when we are in hospital being introduced to the nice new junior doctor - Biggles Jackson-Kew.

 

Fills you with confidence.

 

At least Posie can marry out of the name although she could take a leaf out of her mother's book and end up with a triple barrrelled or quadruple barrelled name.

 

Did Christian and Emily feel that their lives were so incomplete that they didn't want to saddle their offspring with uninspiring names?

 

I am sitting here shaking my head.

 

Spare a thought for the sister - Tuppence!!!

[Handrejka 1,840]

Pulling someone who is intelligent, witty, generous, interesting and fantastic in bed and who lives on the other sodding side of the world.

[themaninblack 2,112]

Pulling someone who is intelligent, witty, generous, interesting and fantastic in bed and who lives on the other sodding side of the world.

 

Must have long arms then...

[Handrejka 1,840]

Pulling someone who is intelligent, witty, generous, interesting and fantastic in bed and who lives on the other sodding side of the world.

 

Must have long arms then...

 

No, long tongue though

 

Actually it's TT fortnight so the population doubles and lots of the visitors are male, horny and a long way from home and it's the only time I get a look in.

[Lord Fellatio Nelson 6,132]

It's Biggles I feel sorry for. Fancy getting saddled with a name like that. Larkin was right, your parent really do fuck you up...

Biggles will grow up in a World inhabited by Livingstones, Tarquins and Eliza Doolittle Farquhars.

To put it into context, young Biggles will not stand out from the crowd and will live a life that is totally alien to the rest of us mere mortals.

This lad wasnt just born with a silver spoon in his mouth, he was born with a whole fuggin African Gold mine in his lil chops.

Fuck, does anybody REALLY think that this chap is going to go to Bash St School, leave at 16 without qualifications and work in McDonalds?

 

Yes but fast forward 25 years as all our bodies are collapsing around us and when we are in hospital being introduced to the nice new junior doctor - Biggles Jackson-Kew.

 

Fills you with confidence.

 

At least Posie can marry out of the name although she could take a leaf out of her mother's book and end up with a triple barrrelled or quadruple barrelled name.

 

Did Christian and Emily feel that their lives were so incomplete that they didn't want to saddle their offspring with uninspiring names?

 

I am sitting here shaking my head.

 

Spare a thought for the sister - Tuppence!!!

Doctor?!? Investment banker, you mean!!

Biggles is a middle to upper class chap, not the sort who will go into Politics and certainly not somebody who will become a Doctor.

His life will revolve around Sloane Square and his retreat in rural Gloucestershire, or summat.

[Lord Fellatio Nelson 6,132]

Pulling someone who is intelligent, witty, generous, interesting and fantastic in bed and who lives on the other sodding side of the world.

 

Must have long arms then...

 

No, long tongue though

 

Actually it's TT fortnight so the population doubles and lots of the visitors are male, horny and a long way from home and it's the only time I get a look in.

Post of the week!!!!

Handy, did he look anything like Alexander Armstrong?

Did he have his ears, ya know, something you could hold onto while he went "mining" for all those valuble minerals, aye.

Just wondering, like.

[themaninblack 2,112]

Pulling someone who is intelligent, witty, generous, interesting and fantastic in bed and who lives on the other sodding side of the world.

 

Must have long arms then...

 

No, long tongue though

 

Actually it's TT fortnight so the population doubles and lots of the visitors are male, horny and a long way from home and it's the only time I get a look in.

 

Perhaps the Isle of Man (despite the name) is not the best choice of location if you're chasing trouser. What about a Benedictine monastery?

[Bibliogryphon 8,650]

It's Biggles I feel sorry for. Fancy getting saddled with a name like that. Larkin was right, your parent really do fuck you up...

Biggles will grow up in a World inhabited by Livingstones, Tarquins and Eliza Doolittle Farquhars.

To put it into context, young Biggles will not stand out from the crowd and will live a life that is totally alien to the rest of us mere mortals.

This lad wasnt just born with a silver spoon in his mouth, he was born with a whole fuggin African Gold mine in his lil chops.

Fuck, does anybody REALLY think that this chap is going to go to Bash St School, leave at 16 without qualifications and work in McDonalds?

 

Yes but fast forward 25 years as all our bodies are collapsing around us and when we are in hospital being introduced to the nice new junior doctor - Biggles Jackson-Kew.

 

Fills you with confidence.

 

At least Posie can marry out of the name although she could take a leaf out of her mother's book and end up with a triple barrrelled or quadruple barrelled name.

 

Did Christian and Emily feel that their lives were so incomplete that they didn't want to saddle their offspring with uninspiring names?

 

I am sitting here shaking my head.

 

Spare a thought for the sister - Tuppence!!!

Doctor?!? Investment banker, you mean!!

Biggles is a middle to upper class chap, not the sort who will go into Politics and certainly not somebody who will become a Doctor.

His life will revolve around Sloane Square and his retreat in rural Gloucestershire, or summat.

 

I thought all investment bankers were called Worthless Arrogant w***er-Leech

 

With no apologies whatsoever to any investment bankers who may visit this site.

[CarolAnn 924]

Im merely responding in the most blunt, crass and shitiest way possible to the kind of posting that belongs on mumsnet.

Maybe its about time that "David" registers with a new or second account ( assuming that he/she is an existing member who is pulling the piss ) or fucks off into the beyond.

Maybe people were right, we should ban guest posters.

 

We can't ban guest posters. They cause some of your best material.

 

I guess an engraved locket is OK. My ex husband has my name tattooed on his chest and I think that is the most amusing thing that has ever happened in my life. It's a nice, quality tat too - according to his current paramour (or rhymes with that) it hasn't faded at all. Apparently it's so awful that she has to see it all the time and can't get away from the fact that I was part of his life....well, that and the inconvenient 26 year old son.

 

Moral to this story, children - I don't care how much you think you love someone. NEVER get their name permanently placed on your anatomy.

[Lord Fellatio Nelson 6,132]

Im merely responding in the most blunt, crass and shitiest way possible to the kind of posting that belongs on mumsnet.

Maybe its about time that "David" registers with a new or second account ( assuming that he/she is an existing member who is pulling the piss ) or fucks off into the beyond.

Maybe people were right, we should ban guest posters.

 

We can't ban guest posters. They cause some of your best material.

 

I guess an engraved locket is OK. My ex husband has my name tattooed on his chest and I think that is the most amusing thing that has ever happened in my life. It's a nice, quality tat too - according to his current paramour (or rhymes with that) it hasn't faded at all. Apparently it's so awful that she has to see it all the time and can't get away from the fact that I was part of his life....well, that and the inconvenient 26 year old son.

 

Moral to this story, children - I don't care how much you think you love someone. NEVER get their name permanently placed on your anatomy.

I had the name of my first Girlfriend tattooed onto my Penis.

When I met my wife she was a bit shocked to see it.

"Who is Dawn?" She asked.

"Ive no idea?", I stated

"Well you have the name Dawn tattoed onto you cock!" She said, getting seriously pissed off.

"Ah, I think you may be getting things a bit wrong" I replied.

I gave the old chap a rub then asked the missus to take another look.

She gasped..." Who the fuck is Deborah, Anne, Wendy, Newton!!!!!"

Boom boom!!!!

[Lord Fellatio Nelson 6,132]

Im merely responding in the most blunt, crass and shitiest way possible to the kind of posting that belongs on mumsnet.

Maybe its about time that "David" registers with a new or second account ( assuming that he/she is an existing member who is pulling the piss ) or fucks off into the beyond.

Maybe people were right, we should ban guest posters.

 

We can't ban guest posters. They cause some of your best material.

 

I guess an engraved locket is OK. My ex husband has my name tattooed on his chest and I think that is the most amusing thing that has ever happened in my life. It's a nice, quality tat too - according to his current paramour (or rhymes with that) it hasn't faded at all. Apparently it's so awful that she has to see it all the time and can't get away from the fact that I was part of his life....well, that and the inconvenient 26 year old son.

 

Moral to this story, children - I don't care how much you think you love someone. NEVER get their name permanently placed on your anatomy.

Jesus!! A Texan who speaks with the tongue of a 1920s English socialite or summat.

Quite possibly the only American on Planet Earth that uses such a word AND understands what it means!!

[Lord Fellatio Nelson 6,132]

It's Biggles I feel sorry for. Fancy getting saddled with a name like that. Larkin was right, your parent really do fuck you up...

Biggles will grow up in a World inhabited by Livingstones, Tarquins and Eliza Doolittle Farquhars.

To put it into context, young Biggles will not stand out from the crowd and will live a life that is totally alien to the rest of us mere mortals.

This lad wasnt just born with a silver spoon in his mouth, he was born with a whole fuggin African Gold mine in his lil chops.

Fuck, does anybody REALLY think that this chap is going to go to Bash St School, leave at 16 without qualifications and work in McDonalds?

 

Yes but fast forward 25 years as all our bodies are collapsing around us and when we are in hospital being introduced to the nice new junior doctor - Biggles Jackson-Kew.

 

Fills you with confidence.

 

At least Posie can marry out of the name although she could take a leaf out of her mother's book and end up with a triple barrrelled or quadruple barrelled name.

 

Did Christian and Emily feel that their lives were so incomplete that they didn't want to saddle their offspring with uninspiring names?

 

I am sitting here shaking my head.

 

Spare a thought for the sister - Tuppence!!!

Doctor?!? Investment banker, you mean!!

Biggles is a middle to upper class chap, not the sort who will go into Politics and certainly not somebody who will become a Doctor.

His life will revolve around Sloane Square and his retreat in rural Gloucestershire, or summat.

 

I thought all investment bankers were called Worthless Arrogant w***er-Leech

 

With no apologies whatsoever to any investment bankers who may visit this site.

Dont apologise. I think we have slightly more in the way of wankers that visit here than investment bankers.

[Lard Bazaar 3,687]

Ah, today, a fine summer's day, a month-long sick note, KFC for tea, and a bad knob gag from LFN - all is well in the world.

[Bibliogryphon 8,650]

 

Dont apologise. I think we have slightly more in the way of wankers that visit here than investment bankers.

 

That is true even if all the ivestment bankers here were considered to be wankers they would only be a subset of the total amount of wankers on the site because the set of guests would have a large instersection with the set of wankers but it would not be a totally inclusive subset. I could go on but I promise I will not represent this on a Venn diagram!

[Toast 14,835]

Im merely responding in the most blunt, crass and shitiest way possible to the kind of posting that belongs on mumsnet.

Maybe its about time that "David" registers with a new or second account ( assuming that he/she is an existing member who is pulling the piss ) or fucks off into the beyond.

Maybe people were right, we should ban guest posters.

 

We can't ban guest posters. They cause some of your best material.

 

I guess an engraved locket is OK. My ex husband has my name tattooed on his chest and I think that is the most amusing thing that has ever happened in my life. It's a nice, quality tat too - according to his current paramour (or rhymes with that) it hasn't faded at all. Apparently it's so awful that she has to see it all the time and can't get away from the fact that I was part of his life....well, that and the inconvenient 26 year old son.

 

Moral to this story, children - I don't care how much you think you love someone. NEVER get their name permanently placed on your anatomy.

Jesus!! A Texan who speaks with the tongue of a 1920s English socialite or summat.

Quite possibly the only American on Planet Earth that uses such a word AND understands what it means!!

 

I use the word 'paramour' quite frequently. I think it's a splendid word, and have considered starting a campaign for it to replace the awful 'partner' which is unromantic and ambiguous. I also like 'concubine' which sounds like it could be something you have in your garden.

 

But then I'm not American.

[Lord Fellatio Nelson 6,132]

Dont apologise. I think we have slightly more in the way of wankers that visit here than investment bankers.

 

That is true even if all the ivestment bankers here were considered to be wankers they would only be a subset of the total amount of wankers on the site because the set of guests would have a large instersection with the set of wankers but it would not be a totally inclusive subset. I could go on but I promise I will not represent this on a Venn diagram!

Was that Serbo Croat?

I think you lost my back on the first bend.

I think a Venn diagram and Banshees Scream to do the lingustic translations or summat would be a good idea.

Its not you, im just considerably thicker than I appear to be.

PS: "Guests" are, in all probability, 92.7% of the existing membership with sod all to do and are posting in the same vein of shit as they do when they log in. Possibly

[Lord Fellatio Nelson 6,132]

Im merely responding in the most blunt, crass and shitiest way possible to the kind of posting that belongs on mumsnet.

Maybe its about time that "David" registers with a new or second account ( assuming that he/she is an existing member who is pulling the piss ) or fucks off into the beyond.

Maybe people were right, we should ban guest posters.

 

We can't ban guest posters. They cause some of your best material.

 

I guess an engraved locket is OK. My ex husband has my name tattooed on his chest and I think that is the most amusing thing that has ever happened in my life. It's a nice, quality tat too - according to his current paramour (or rhymes with that) it hasn't faded at all. Apparently it's so awful that she has to see it all the time and can't get away from the fact that I was part of his life....well, that and the inconvenient 26 year old son.

 

Moral to this story, children - I don't care how much you think you love someone. NEVER get their name permanently placed on your anatomy.

Jesus!! A Texan who speaks with the tongue of a 1920s English socialite or summat.

Quite possibly the only American on Planet Earth that uses such a word AND understands what it means!!

 

I use the word 'paramour' quite frequently. I think it's a splendid word, and have considered starting a campaign for it to replace the awful 'partner' which is unromantic and ambiguous. I also like 'concubine' which sounds like it could be something you have in your garden.

 

But then I'm not American.

Thank the Lord for that! Any more than two in the same place and its a fuggin Task Force ready to invade.

Paramour is a delicious word, first heard by me on Coronation Street by Annie Walker as she lectured Bet Lynch, circa 1973.

The problem is it can only really be used in situations where the couples are not, generally, knuckle dragging scum suckers who call all 8 of their kids "c**t" because they cant remember all their real names and are the first in to Cost cutters at 9AM, still wearing their slippers, to buy a couple of litres of own brand cider and 40 Mayfair.

To this end, its probably appropriate to allow both terms to co exist, keeping "partner" to the great unwashed and "paramour" to people that have a degree of civility about them and have, at the very least, held down a job for more than 6 months.

This idea has legs Toastie!!!

[Toast 14,835]

The problem with "partner" is it's a word that's been hijacked (like "gay" was). It's only in recent times that it's come to mean "the person whom one is shagging having a sexual relationship with".

 

It used to mean someone you did stuff with, but its meaning was far more wide-ranging, it could be a person you were in business with or the person you danced with (memories of primary school teacher clapping hands and saying briskly "Now find a partner!"). It was a neutral sort of word, devoid of emotion. The trouble is there's nothing else to use instead, whereas everyone seems to have abandoned perfectly usable words like husband, wife, girlfriend, spouse (now that's a useful one) other half, 'er indoors etc etc and all have been replaced by "partner".

[Paul Bearer 5,648]

The problem with "partner" is it's a word that's been hijacked (like "gay" was). It's only in recent times that it's come to mean "the person whom one is shagging having a sexual relationship with".

 

It used to mean someone you did stuff with, but its meaning was far more wide-ranging, it could be a person you were in business with or the person you danced with (memories of primary school teacher clapping hands and saying briskly "Now find a partner!"). It was a neutral sort of word, devoid of emotion. The trouble is there's nothing else to use instead, whereas everyone seems to have abandoned perfectly usable words like husband, wife, girlfriend, spouse (now that's a useful one) other half, 'er indoors etc etc and all have been replaced by "partner".

When we were in Vegas a few years ago, My wife asked a 'Vulcan' female if she could have a photo with my other half, the reply was 'the other half of what my dear? Oh I see, you mean your mate?'

[Toast 14,835]

The problem with "partner" is it's a word that's been hijacked (like "gay" was). It's only in recent times that it's come to mean "the person whom one is shagging having a sexual relationship with".

 

It used to mean someone you did stuff with, but its meaning was far more wide-ranging, it could be a person you were in business with or the person you danced with (memories of primary school teacher clapping hands and saying briskly "Now find a partner!"). It was a neutral sort of word, devoid of emotion. The trouble is there's nothing else to use instead, whereas everyone seems to have abandoned perfectly usable words like husband, wife, girlfriend, spouse (now that's a useful one) other half, 'er indoors etc etc and all have been replaced by "partner".

When we were in Vegas a few years ago, My wife asked a 'Vulcan' female if she could have a photo with my other half, the reply was 'the other half of what my dear? Oh I see, you mean your mate?'

 

What's a 'Vulcan' female? Is it something American?

[Lard Bazaar 3,687]

Neighbours that are so desperate for attention that they have to have extremely loud sex with their windows open at 1am. I nearly called the RSPCA, it sounded like they were inhumanely culling badgers. Which is funny as her old minge has been hammered so many times by so many people that it probably looks like badger roadkill.

[Lord Fellatio Nelson 6,132]

Neighbours that are so desperate for attention that they have to have extremely loud sex with their windows open at 1am. I nearly called the RSPCA, it sounded like they were inhumanely culling badgers. Which is funny as her old minge has been hammered so many times by so many people that it probably looks like badger roadkill.

Look, just because your snatch hasnt seen any action for the last five years there is no need for jealousy!

[Toast 14,835]

Neighbours that are so desperate for attention that they have to have extremely loud sex with their windows open at 1am. I nearly called the RSPCA, it sounded like they were inhumanely culling badgers. Which is funny as her old minge has been hammered so many times by so many people that it probably looks like badger roadkill.

 

Excuse me, but I just couldn't resist bringing this over from Lady Arran's obituary.

 

the 8th Earl of Arran .... became an active member of the House of Lords. A passionate advocate of homosexual rights, he thrice introduced a Sexual Offences Bill, and also campaigned for the protection of badgers.....

 

....The family wore gumboots in the house to fend off their cete (brood) of ankle-nipping badgers.

Lady Arran always called her current favourite badger Rosie. A succession of these creatures visited, and left a mark on, the smartest houses in England. “Nobody but Fiona would have carried this off,” remarked a friend.

 

I recommend this obit as a cracking good read http://www.telegraph...s-of-Arran.html