Room 101

[Predictor 1,007]

https://www.ipetitions.com/petition/petition-to-keep-the-imdb-messageboards-going#sign this predictor.

Petitions are usually useless. When was the last time a petition actually led to the overturning of a decision? Besides, while I saw it as a nice place to read about others' opinions on movies I had just seen, I've never really participated in the boards. DeathList and a Swedish forum are the only two places I'm active in online.

 

@Sir_Creep: I think that social media platforms lack the structure and organization that Internet forums usually have. So, Facebook/Twitter/whatever can't possibly replace that.

[Predictor 1,007]

Thought I would mention another 101-worthy thing that happened this morning out on the street. An elderly beggar, around 50-70 maybe (could be younger if he's just aged badly), came up to me and asked for some money. I only give money every now and then, and I happened to have a few coins in my pocket. So I gave him 1 krona. Within seconds, he TOSSES the coin to the ground and mutters something about it being too little money.

 

After the initial surprise at his ingratitude, I realized that I will continue go about my daily business like any other day in paradise while he will continue to struggle getting ends to meet. And he won't even realize that he's probably the main cause of his own problems.

[Toast 14,806]

People who cause havoc in car parks by waiting for somebody to vacate a space.

 

The other day I was proceeding round a car park. I had just turned into the second lane of bays, meaning I'd gone round less than 25% of the car park, when the car in front of me started to reverse. There were already cars behind me, so I stayed put until it was clear that the stupid cow wasn't looking behind her, at which point I gave her a blast on the horn. It was obvious that she'd spotted someone in their car about to leave, but she was in his way.

 

When that happens to me, I drive on and let the next person have the space. I do not expect half a dozen other cars to back up for my convenience.

 

Eventually she got out of her car and came to remonstrate with me, whereupon I informed her that she was the cause of the queue, and she was the person who was in the best position to let the other driver out by MOVING ON. She wasn't happy, but proved my point by flouncing off and leaving the car park altogether.

 

I calmly continued once the other driver had left and parked comfortably in one of the many spaces that were vacant on the other 75% of the car park.

[charon 4,938]

^^^ condensed version...

 

"She".

 

 

Nuff said....

[Bibliogryphon 8,625]

OK I am one of those who would be characterised as a member of the PC brigade. Vegetarian, lefty!

However I have just had to edit a post I made in Places with funny names because when I typed the work sN-word (half suppressed secretive laugh) the swear filter took it uppn itself to edit it. Seriously?

[YoungWillz 18,968]

Seagulls. They terrify me. I'd be reasonably sane if it weren't for these horrors.

 

This has become news again. I've always hated them, especially since they moved into the cities from the shores.

 

Meantime, I've just seen a wummin on Reporting Scotland from Largs Community Council relating a story about a gull taking a chip right out of the hand of her 18 month old relative. Excuse me? Chips to an 18 month old? The gulls should swoop down upon this wummin and give her a good seeing to...

 

(and yes I'm upset, even if it did happen in Scotland...)

[The Mad Hatter 1,091]

People who go out of their way to ruin your relationships. These people should be beaten with a bat until their brain is just mush on the ground.

[charon 4,938]

You live in Oirland.... Ten Euros tops ya cheapskate, if to chicken to diy ...

[Toast 14,806]

Those bloody clueless people who answer questions on Amazon when they DON'T KNOW THE ANSWER.  Again.

 

Except this time it was me that posted a question, something I haven't done before.   Subject - toilet seats.  I am fed up with toilet seats that work themselves loose and are forever slipping sideways.  I have identified what looks like a foolproof bog seat in this context, but I have another requirement.

 

Question:  Can these seats be easily removed for cleaning?

 

And within the hour I have an answer from one of these cretins.

 

Answer:  We didn't buy one, but once fitted it would be easy to clean it without removing it. 

 

FFS.

[Lord Fellatio Nelson 6,132]

11 minutes ago, Toast said:

Those bloody clueless people who answer questions on Amazon when they DON'T KNOW THE ANSWER.  Again.

 

Except this time it was me that posted a question, something I haven't done before.   Subject - toilet seats.  I am fed up with toilet seats that work themselves loose and are forever slipping sideways.  I have identified what looks like a foolproof bog seat in this context, but I have another requirement.

 

Question:  Can these seats be easily removed for cleaning?

 

And within the hour I have an answer from one of these cretins.

 

Answer:  We didn't buy one, but once fitted it would be easy to clean it without removing it. 

 

FFS.

So  many possibilities with a Q&A session there Toastie.

[Toast 14,806]

19 minutes ago, Lord Fellatio Nelson said:

So  many possibilities with a Q&A session there Toastie.

 

There is rather an interesting review on there.

 

Quote

 

"The Lid Turns A Full 360 Degrees"

By Hector Gussett on 29 Dec. 2015

Bought for the wife's Christmas but as she unwrapped it her mood sunk and a darkness filled the room. Speaking in low, menacing tones that chilled me to the core, she forced me to wear it for the rest of the day which made polite conversation with assorted relatives particularly awkward. Her behaviour was totally out of character and I can only conclude that the seat is possessed. Other buyers beware.

 

 

[time 7,940]

Virgin Media.

 

In this era of electronic communication, I get a frisson of excitement when I find an actual letter on the doormat. This is immediately quelled on finding its just another letter from Virgin Media telling me how much I can save if I have one of their boxes. (Note to Virgin, I can save even more by not having one).

 

I reckon if they'd sent everyone a basic system instead of all the glossy brochures, they'd be no worse off financially.

[Lord Fellatio Nelson 6,132]

Well, at this moment in time, I want to put razors into the room.

Last week I had to have an ECG which, surprise surprise, didnt come out properly because  the young nurse avoided shaving my chest when I pointed out to her that, if she did, Id look like I had mange.

So, one week on, Ive just got back from seeing the nurse ( another one) where we both agreed that shaving my body hair was an unavoidable option should I be deemed too hairy.

Nursie took one look at my chest and said 'Ther is hairy and there is HAIRY and you are HAIRY.

I now have a fucking chest that looks like she has taken a fucking Lawn Mower across it.

Im not happy.

[time 7,940]

1 hour ago, Lord Fellatio Nelson said:

Well, at this moment in time, I want to put razors into the room.

Last week I had to have an ECG which, surprise surprise, didnt come out properly because  the young nurse avoided shaving my chest when I pointed out to her that, if she did, Id look like I had mange.

So, one week on, Ive just got back from seeing the nurse ( another one) where we both agreed that shaving my body hair was an unavoidable option should I be deemed too hairy.

Nursie took one look at my chest and said 'Ther is hairy and there is HAIRY and you are HAIRY.

I now have a fucking chest that looks like she has taken a fucking Lawn Mower across it.

Im not happy.

Follically Challenged Bastard!

[Toast 14,806]

Oh please don't mention lawn mowers.  The grass at Chateau Toast is soon going to resemble a tropical rain forest, and there has been no opportunity to keep it in check.  Last year I managed to give it a haircut in January which was a first, but it's been far too wet this time.  Poor old lawn mower isn't going to like it, and my friendly lawn mower fixing neighbour is with us no more. 

[Lord Fellatio Nelson 6,132]

25 minutes ago, Toast said:

Oh please don't mention lawn mowers.  The grass at Chateau Toast is soon going to resemble a tropical rain forest, and there has been no opportunity to keep it in check.  Last year I managed to give it a haircut in January which was a first, but it's been far too wet this time.  Poor old lawn mower isn't going to like it, and my friendly lawn mower fixing neighbour is with us no more. 

I actually took our old mower don the tip this morning, as Ive had a few days off work.

We were given a Hayter electric jobbie which, if you know your Hayters from your Qualcast is THE Rolls Royce of grass cutters.

What its going to make of our piss hole of a garden is anybody's guess.

[Toast 14,806]

15 minutes ago, Lord Fellatio Nelson said:

44 minutes ago, Toast said:

Oh please don't mention lawn mowers.  The grass at Chateau Toast is soon going to resemble a tropical rain forest, and there has been no opportunity to keep it in check.  Last year I managed to give it a haircut in January which was a first, but it's been far too wet this time.  Poor old lawn mower isn't going to like it, and my friendly lawn mower fixing neighbour is with us no more. 

I actually took our old mower don the tip this morning, as Ive had a few days off work.

We were given a Hayter electric jobbie which, if you know your Hayters from your Qualcast is THE Rolls Royce of grass cutters.

What its going to make of our piss hole of a garden is anybody's guess.

 

I've never had an electric one.  It's quite a long way to the bottom of my garden, so always had a petrol mower.

[Lord Fellatio Nelson 6,132]

4 minutes ago, Toast said:

 

I've never had an electric one.  It's quite a long way to the bottom of my garden, so always had a petrol mower.

Ok, admit it Toastie, you have several acres and can compete with DDT for shouting 'GERROF MOI LAND!!!!!!!

[Toast 14,806]

I did do that once, and embarrassingly it was my mate's sister's boyfriend, who nobody had told me was visiting. 

 

But no, it's a quarter acre at most, mainly occupied by moss and weeds grass.

[Mr D Mentia 8]

Private fucking licence plates.

These, amongst many other factors in my life tend to really piss me off. Not only due to the arrogance and over-inflated ego of any smug prick who owns one of these, but also because of the fact that the smug prick who decided to invest their well earned savings (typically from hairdressing)  into one of these, could have invested the money into something worth while.

JFK memorabilia for example.

Don't get me wrong, i have nothing against hairdressers. Being a hairdresser is fine. Being a hairdresser and owning a 06 Audi TT is borderline acceptable. Being a hairdresser and owning an 06 Audi TT accompanied by a Licence plate which boldly displays "PRNC355" is fucking disgraceful.

 

You may aswell have a piece of fucking plasterboard taped onto your bonnet which reads:

"I Am A Cunt"

 

[Toast 14,806]

I concur.   I also don't see any advantage in having an easily memorable numberplate - rather the opposite, iyswim.

 

 

[Bibliogryphon 8,625]

The industry I work tends to rotate the same people between organistions so you get to know your rivals quite well. Our local rival is known by a three letter acronym and after a management buyout one of the directors got himself a white BMW with the number plate BO55 ***. Even his colleagues agreed he was a knob.

[Lord Fellatio Nelson 6,132]

David Walliams.

As talented as syphilis.

[msc 17,740]

Now that's just giving a bad name to syphilis, comparing the two like that.

[Lord Fellatio Nelson 6,132]

1 hour ago, msc said:

Now that's just giving a bad name to syphilis, comparing the two like that.

Thats true, I mean, eventually, you will get rid of syphilis.