Room 101

[Paul Bearer 5,614]

Fucking courts.  I've just been called up for jury duty.  

[Lord Fellatio Nelson 6,132]

18 minutes ago, Paul Bearer said:

Fucking courts.  I've just been called up for jury duty.  

They have no idea what they are letting themselves in for.

 

[Paul Bearer 5,614]

1 hour ago, Lord Fellatio Nelson said:

They have no idea what they are letting themselves in for.

 

I don't care who it is or what the charges are, I'm finding him/her GUILTY as charged. 

[An Fear Beag 1,347]

3 hours ago, Paul Bearer said:

Fucking courts.  I've just been called up for jury duty.  

 

Can't you just tell them that you are far too busy moderating The Deathlist Forum to do jury duty?

If that statement alone doesn't immediately disbar you from having some poor sods fate in your hands, then the British justice system is in a far worse state than I thought.

[torbrexbones 717]

10 hours ago, Paul Bearer said:

I don't care who it is or what the charges are, I'm finding him/her GUILTY as charged. 

That was exactly what I did when I was on a jury but the others talked me down to a lesser charge.

[Windsor 2,142]

On 23/11/2020 at 19:13, Paul Bearer said:

Fucking courts.  I've just been called up for jury duty.  

I'd love to do jury duty but sadly I'm just too prejudice...against everyone.

[Windsor 2,142]

Nicola Sturgeon and her gang of cunts are giving £500 to NHS workers.

Nothing to do with buying votes for independence of course.

 

Ach, we are so hard done by as part of the United Kingdom...getting all these freebies.

[time 7,939]

27 minutes ago, Windsor said:

Nicola Sturgeon and her gang of cunts are giving £500 to NHS workers.

Nothing to do with buying votes for independence of course.

 

Ach, we are so hard done by as part of the United Kingdom...getting all these freebies.

Clapping not good enough for them?

[Lard Bazaar 3,687]

13 hours ago, Windsor said:

Nicola Sturgeon and her gang of cunts are giving £500 to NHS workers.

Nothing to do with buying votes for independence of course.

 

Ach, we are so hard done by as part of the United Kingdom...getting all these freebies.

I’m becoming increasingly fucked off with this canonisation of NHS workers. They are not the sole profession to have ‘kept the country running’ this year - social care staff, retail workers, utility workers, child care providers, loads of different sectors have carried on providing essential services, where’s the bonuses for them? I could not give a monkey’s dick if you’re a ‘key worker’.  I’m not a ‘key worker’, but I’ve worked continuously throughout this year, actually putting in more hours than I’m paid for, where’s my bonus? I don’t deserve one for simply doing my job. 

[Lord Fellatio Nelson 6,132]

All I can say is that Scotland must have the best economy in Europe by a fucking mile.

 

Cash to the NHS, free women's thingies, prescriptions etc etc.

Fuck, we should all move north of the border!

[msc 17,712]

Yeah, we're fucking awesome, mate.

[Lard Bazaar 3,687]

5 hours ago, Lord Fellatio Nelson said:

All I can say is that Scotland must have the best economy in Europe by a fucking mile.

 

Cash to the NHS, free women's thingies, prescriptions etc etc.

Fuck, we should all move north of the border!

Now I do agree with providing sanitary wear for those that can’t afford it.  It’s an absolute fucking disgrace that these are taxed (in England at least) as ‘luxury’ items.  There is nothing luxurious about teenage girls having to stuff their underwear with the inner cardboard tube of a toilet roll because they can’t afford sanitary towels. I’d much rather see my tax spent on Tampax than Jacob Rees-Mogg’s latest expenses claim, and I’m desperately trying to think of a ‘stuck up cunts’ joke here. 

[Lord Fellatio Nelson 6,132]

1 hour ago, Lard Bazaar said:

Now I do agree with providing sanitary wear for those that can’t afford it.  It’s an absolute fucking disgrace that these are taxed (in England at least) as ‘luxury’ items.  There is nothing luxurious about teenage girls having to stuff their underwear with the inner cardboard tube of a toilet roll because they can’t afford sanitary towels. I’d much rather see my tax spent on Tampax than Jacob Rees-Mogg’s latest expenses claim, and I’m desperately trying to think of a ‘stuck up cunts’ joke here. 

I agree with you on all points.

[Paul Bearer 5,614]

The people that phone me telling me I've been in an accident.   It must take a special kind of person to call you and take all your abuse . 

[time 7,939]

7 minutes ago, Paul Bearer said:

The people that phone me telling me I've been in an accident.   It must take a special kind of person to call you and take all your abuse . 

I love those people, they keep me entertained for hours minutes.

[Toast 14,798]

I got one the other day, nice polite English-sounding lad, calling about a "Government scheme".  Now I'm aware that there actually is such a thing, so I asked him, politely, if he would post me an official letter with the details because of the many telephone scams perpetrated these days. 

He hung up. 

I drew my own conclusion.

[Toast 14,798]

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/business-55293595

 

Oh Christ.  Thank you, media.

Why, why, why, did you have to make a thing of that? 

[TQR 12,056]

1 minute ago, Toast said:

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/business-55293595

 

Oh Christ.  Thank you, media.

Why, why, why, did you have to make a thing of that? 

Yep. Twats are more likely to stockpile now. FFS.

[Charlotte's Controller 180]

Absolute disaster. Not that I condone stockpiling but I ordered half a dozen 1.5 litre bottles of gin and sufficient tonic to last. My delivery of gin came no problem, but no tonic. Safe over christmas now plenty of handwash.       

[Lord Fellatio Nelson 6,132]

Bog rolls are made here.

Much of the tinned food we eat, made here.

Cereals made here

Get the drift?

The only produce that we may go short on is fresh fruit and veg, however, Tescos has stocked cucumbers, tomatoes and other assorted produce grown in countries outside of the EU such as Morocco, Chile, South Africa etc, etc, etc.

FFS, no cunt will starve!!!!!!!

[En Passant 2,930]

I've filled the garden shed with 1500 kilo's of Camembert.

[Lord Fellatio Nelson 6,132]

25 minutes ago, En Passant said:

I've filled the garden shed with 1500 kilo's of Camembert.

Fucking snob.

[Lord Fellatio Nelson 6,132]

.....well I won't be filling up my cupboard with 10,000 bog rolls.

[TQR 12,056]

Christmas cards. And all other greetings cards.

 

Waste of materials, money and time. I despise the mundanity of having to write tautological, obsequious greetings every year, just as much as reading them, pretending to be the slightest bit interested in them and subsequently having them litter my lounge with their sickly and/or unamusing fasciae for days.

 

I’d happily never receive one again. But I can’t say any of this because apparently it’d make me a miserable cunt.

[Toast 14,798]

I like sending cards but I am very particular about the picture on them and I spend quite a bit of time deciding who gets what card.

Sadly most of the ones I receive are bland and non-descript, and many clearly tossed into a supermarket trolley without a glance or a thought.

This is still one of my all-time favourites, received from a cousin.