Heather Mills

[Bald rick 9]

I knew a woman with a wooden leg called Heather.

Oh really? What was her other leg called?

BOM BOM !!!

Oh God. Josco's turning into Basil Brush.

[Tuber Mirum 125]

I knew a woman with a wooden leg called Heather.

Oh really? What was her other leg called?

BOM BOM !!!

 

Thanks for that Josco.

 

Aren't you supposed to be working or something?

[Lady Die 63]

I knew a woman with a wooden leg called Heather.

Oh really? What was her other leg called?

BOM BOM !!!

 

Thanks for that Josco.

 

Aren't you supposed to be working or something?

He has a new job as a joke writer. He's only just started - that's why he's not very good at it.

[Vinegar Tits 606]

Christ, there's Kents everywhere I look. Kentish men or men of Kent?

I live in Kent if that's any help.

 

Anyway, how long could the divorce drag on for? I can't see Pegleg pegging it before she finds out how much dosh Macca's got to cough up, but if it doesn't go her way then who knows? I personally think she's too self-absorbed to kill herself so I think it'll be up to a deranged fan to ensure Yoko regains her top position as most hated Beatle wife.

[Captain Oates 21]

Christ, there's Kents everywhere I look. Kentish men or men of Kent?

I live in Kent if that's any help.

 

I live in Surrey.

 

But I could walk to Kent in less than ten minutes. Where's the party?

[Madame Defarge 21]

Christ, there's Kents everywhere I look. Kentish men or men of Kent?

 

I used to go out with a man who smoked Kents.

[maryportfuncity 10,645]

Heather lets rip on GMTV.

 

 

Mills said of the media: "They had me on the brink of suicide, because I was contemplating that if I killed myself then my daughter will be safe, because when she's with me, maybe she's not going to be safe."

[Phantom 2,533]

Heather lets rip on GMTV.

 

Hardly lady-like for her to break wind on national television

[Banshees Scream 110]

"They've called me a whore, a gold digger, a fantasist, a liar,

 

Of course she is a gold digger. She made sure that she married McCartney 'who is blind as a f****n bat' and that he didn't go through those papers that ;if; a divorce was finalized 'she wouldn't get half of the money'

 

Because obviously she convinced him that they would always be together 'fast forward' cough 'lying gold digger' they are divorced and being a gold digger she is now loaded with half of his money, and if Paul was looking for a one legged experience he should have just kept it away from wedding rings and the church.

 

That's the bottom line.

[maryportfuncity 10,645]

Re 'they've called me a whore...'

 

'They' are the News of the World, part of News International and they found an associate of the great Khasoggi - mega rich arms dealer - who told them he'd hired Heather as a prostitute and was quoted in the article saying something like: 'She was a prostitute...I know because I paid her.' I can't vouch for the truth of the story but the NOTW knew the consequences if they'd got their facts wrong and didn't print those words by accident. For all the blather Heather has yet to launch a legal action against anyone and hasn't even asked for the help of the Press Complaints Commission, in fact the PCC have offered to help and she hasn't taken up the offer.

[Lord Fellatio Nelson 6,218]

Lets cut to the chase here.

She is a Money grabbing old Witch, a sh*t ( failed) model who sought the oxygen of publicity at every turn, a gold digging peg leg who, after screwing Mr McCartney sufficiently to make marriage viable, now wants to screw him financially, because the bairn wont have much of a life if mummy cant extract £30 odd million out of Daddy.

Paul McCartney? What a pillock!!

[The Four Horsemen 26]

You were a loss to News at Ten, weren't you?

[Anubis the Jackal 77]

"Why don't we do it in the road?"

 

Well, look what happened last time, Heather.

[Lady Grendel 139]

Lets cut to the chase here.

She is a Money grabbing old Witch, a sh*t ( failed) model who sought the oxygen of publicity at every turn, a gold digging peg leg who, after screwing Mr McCartney sufficiently to make marriage viable, now wants to screw him financially, because the bairn wont have much of a life if mummy cant extract £30 odd million out of Daddy.

Paul McCartney? What a pillock!!

 

Couldn't have put it better myself LFN, there's no fool like an old fool as they say.

[Lard Bazaar 3,799]

Let's not forget that nobody held a gun to McCartney's head at the altar and forced him to say 'I do'. Fault on both sides, I reckon. He wanted a foxy blonde chick/Linda lookylike on his arm to prove that he wasn't an old has been and could still pull the birds, and she wanted millions of quid. Six of one and half a dozen of t'other if you ask me.

[Lord Fellatio Nelson 6,218]

You were a loss to News at Ten, weren't you?

Actually I wasnt.

I have a confession to make. Underneath this suave, silver tongued persona that is LFN, I am really (drum Roll please )................... Sir Trevor McDonald.

[Banshees Scream 110]

I have a confession to make. Underneath this suave, silver tongued persona that is LFN, I am really (drum Roll please )................... Sir Trevor McDonald.

 

A drum beats

 

Happy Halloween Fellatio Nelson! Great costume then. I knew you would be something very jazzy\flamboyant.

 

 

I'm allowing myself as much candy as I desire tonight.

[themaninblack 2,112]

Lets cut to the chase here.

She is a Money grabbing old Witch, a sh*t ( failed) model who sought the oxygen of publicity at every turn, a gold digging peg leg who, after screwing Mr McCartney sufficiently to make marriage viable, now wants to screw him financially, because the bairn wont have much of a life if mummy cant extract £30 odd million out of Daddy.

Paul McCartney? What a pillock!!

 

That's it pretty much in a nutshell.

 

She's crackers and he's vain (still dyeing his hair at 65!).

 

If she really wanted the money she would have settled out of court. No, she's wants to be in the news ad infinitum...

[Youth in Asia 1,086]

If she was really once a model, she must have been one of those "character" models as she's a right minger. I think she'd also have trouble establishing herself in the world of high-class escorts, although with only one leg her price would probably be higher. What does a second leg add to sex anyway? Nothing - it just gets in the way.

[Cowboy Ronnie 78]

Macca should go the Hefner route and hook himself up with a bevvy of playmates as multiple girlfriends. He's got more to offer than Hef - he's younger, has more money, and made that money through far more meritorious means. What is Hugh Hefner's talent anyway?

 

Were I her divorce lawyers and publicist (and I could easily be both) I'd be out looking for new clients after yesterday's performance. What a moron she is. A strong candidate for the alternate DL '08.

[Banshees Scream 110]

Macca should go the Hefner route and hook himself up with a bevvy of playmates as multiple girlfriends. What is Hugh Hefner's talent anyway?

 

I don't think Paul McCartney 'has the grapefruits' to live the Hefner lifestyle, it's all wasted on him. Give him 'a players mind' and he would probably buy a rappers mansion and gather up ten or twelve 'pet house pets.

 

If I met Hugh Hefner I would ask him 'How?' did you get all these beautiful women to live with you, not why. I mean he dreamt up Playboy but that doesn't exactly tell you how he obtained what most Halibuts think they will be getting in heaven.

[Godot 149]

If I met Hugh Hefner I would ask him 'How?' did you get all these beautiful women to live with you, not why. I mean he dreamt up Playboy but that doesn't exactly tell you how he obtained what most Halibuts think they will be getting in heaven.

 

The Halibut martyrs are getting virgins Banshees. I doubt if many of Hefner's playmates would qualify for this Islamic fantasy somehow. I'm not sure that "slappers" would translate well in the Koran.

 

On the question of "How?" if you're offered the chance to be paid to live in pampered luxury with a limp-dicked "has been" as an alternative to injecting your life away with Bash-you-around Bill in drug ally on the trashiest estate in town I suppose it's understandable that some might choose the former.

[Banshees Scream 110]

The Halibut martyrs are getting virgins Banshees. I doubt if many of Hefner's playmates would qualify for this Islamic fantasy somehow. I'm not sure that "slappers" would translate well in the Koran.

 

Godot, as far as heavenly whore house fantasies go 'talking in general' I see you are only speaking for Halibut pedophiles.

 

Hugh Hefner has a gigantic luxurious home, the finest menu and most of all beautiful women surrounding him at every waking moment. How can you not call that 'what could be' heaven on earth (or just heaven?) I'm not hearing you man.

 

On the question of "How?" if you're offered the chance to be paid to live in pampered luxury with a limp-dicked "has been" (Stop right there)

 

Every guy who uses his imagination is jealous of Hefner at some limit. I think he has bought his best girls cars for example, but I don't think he pays them straight up cash in exchange for 'come live with me'

 

The women want to live with him. They devote themselves to him, and because of this we won't see him as a Deathlist candidate until 2017.

[Monoclinic 39]

The Halibut martyrs are getting virgins Banshees. I doubt if many of Hefner's playmates would qualify for this Islamic fantasy somehow. I'm not sure that "slappers" would translate well in the Koran.

 

Godot, as far as heavenly whore house fantasies go 'talking in general' I see you are only speaking for Halibut pedophiles.

 

Hugh Hefner has a gigantic luxurious home, the finest menu and most of all beautiful women surrounding him at every waking moment. How can you not call that 'what could be' heaven on earth (or just heaven?) I'm not hearing you man.

 

On the question of "How?" if you're offered the chance to be paid to live in pampered luxury with a limp-dicked "has been" (Stop right there)

 

Every guy who uses his imagination is jealous of Hefner at some limit. I think he has bought his best girls cars for example, but I don't think he pays them straight up cash in exchange for 'come live with me'

 

The women want to live with him. They devote themselves to him, and because of this we won't see him as a Deathlist candidate until 2017.

 

But money can't buy you love.

[Lord Fellatio Nelson 6,218]

Im actually amazed that nobody in the Entertainment Industry has offered her the "Long John Silver" role at Panto.

What publicity!

Even better if they could find an incontinent Parrot to sit on her shoulder.