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Heather Mills

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you can now Bet if Heather Mills' leg will fall off in this Dance Comp...

It'll be worth a flutter if she has to do the Twist... or (not very likely I admit) the Can Can. :)

 

Is there a dance called the "Hop"? She'd win Olympic Gold if there was!!!

There is indeed. There are also such things as the one-step and the shuffle; I'm accomplished enough at the last one to have gained a lifetime achievement award for my ability to express myself through its application. :)

The pas de deux would be the pas d'un

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She might do okay with the right kind of musical inspiration.

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You can vote for Heather to win Grattan's "Celeb Mum of the Year".

 

She's facing stiff competition from the likes of Jade Goody and Kate Moss, mind...

Voting now closed, I eagerly await the results this Friday. As 3 of the Spice Girls and Patsy Kensit were also on the list, my cynicism makes me think that the real vote is for 'Female Celeb with most appearances in Hello! magazine this year who happens to have at least one child'.

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You can vote for Heather to win Grattan's "Celeb Mum of the Year".

 

She's facing stiff competition from the likes of Jade Goody and Kate Moss, mind...

 

surely Anna Nicole would have been stiff competition as well.....

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Fave for the grave on her forthcoming television show appearance. Looks like the phone voters already have her exit lined up.

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She insists her leg won't come off.

 

When I was at junior school there was a boy with an artificial leg & it used to come off all the time when he was playing footie in the playground. He just used to hop over to it, put it back on again & carry on playing.

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When I was at junior school there was a boy with an artificial leg

 

Really? Me too. What school was it?

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When I was at junior school there was a boy with an artificial leg

 

Really? Me too. What school was it?

 

St Stumpys.

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When I was at junior school there was a boy with an artificial leg

 

Really? Me too. What school was it?

 

St Stumpys.

Isn't that a school that caters for prosthetic wearing stutterers?

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When I was at junior school there was a boy with an artificial leg

 

Really? Me too. What school was it?

An ordinary primary school in Kent.....

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An ordinary primary school in Kent.....

 

 

 

Speaking from bitter experience, there's no such thing.

 

 

 

Full of mouth-breathers and spoon-feeders, the lot of 'em.

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An ordinary primary school in Kent.....

 

 

 

Speaking from bitter experience, there's no such thing.

 

 

 

Full of mouth-breathers and spoon-feeders, the lot of 'em.

I was educated in Kent.

 

I'll leave it to others to decide which side of the argument that statement supports.

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Don't ever marry a one legged woman. If you marry a one legged woman, she'll have a child with you, steal it, break your balls, take your money, after claiming true love and that my friends is what we call a one legged educated blond Macca using whore.

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Christ, there's Kents everywhere I look. Kentish men or men of Kent?

I'm a Kentish man, I've just found out. Oddly the only pub I personally know of that refers to either is the Man of Kent which is in Gravesend, which apparently is also in Kentish Man territory.

 

I'd never even heard of either expression until I was a student, when a northener asked me which I was. I remember thinking 'surely they're the same thing?'

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Don't ever marry a one legged woman. If you marry a one legged woman, she'll have a child with you, steal it, break your balls, take your money, after claiming true love and that my friends is what we call a one legged educated blond Macca using whore.

is that all one-legged women?

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Don't ever marry a one legged woman. If you marry a one legged woman, she'll have a child with you, steal it, break your balls, take your money, after claiming true love and that my friends is what we call a one legged educated blond Macca using whore.

Certainly, I've lost count of the amount of times I've known this oh so predictable sequence of events to happen.

 

Actually, now I recall. Once. :)

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Christ, there's Kents everywhere I look. Kentish men or men of Kent?

 

It depends which side of the River Medway - East or West. I am east so I am a Maid of Kent. And my school really was very very ordinary.

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Man of Kent, me.

I never knew Upper Egypt was part of Kent

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So where were you Maid Lady Die?

 

Only askin' because my busy life takes me all over and sometimes into the MOK lands.

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When I was at junior school there was a boy with an artificial leg

 

Really? Me too. What school was it?

An ordinary primary school in Kent.....

 

Oh well, wrong Country.

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When I was at junior school there was a boy with an artificial leg

 

Really? Me too. What school was it?

An ordinary primary school in Kent.....

 

Oh well, wrong Country.

I knew a woman with a wooden leg called Heather.

Oh really? What was her other leg called?

BOM BOM !!!

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