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Guest Arnold

Dead
Alistair Cooke

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Things are looking hopeful for a long awaited first success of the year with today's sudden and unexpected announcement from Alistaire Cooke that he is to retire. I think the most promising aspects of this are firstly, that he has already retired and there will no no farewell Letter from America. The BBC and the highly egocentric Cooke would have insisted upon 15 minutes of reflection on 72 years at the sharp end of political journalism in the USA at the very least.

And secondly, that he has retired at all. Cooke, though brilliant, has survived so long because he has a deep, insecure sense of self worth coupled with immense vanity and pride. When the new wave of modernisers came in when Cooke was in his 80s, he kicked up such an almighty public stink, they had to keep him on.

So I think it must all mount to a sudden trauma on the health front.

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I read the same news Arnold, however your detailed analysis does put this into sharp focus.

 

Sounds like time to start thinking of that first witty headline of the year...

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It will all depend on how he goes. If he falls into a vat of boiling oil it would be "Alistair Cooked".

 

Have to hope it's that then as I can't think of any others. Fortunately I'm not in charge of creativity around here

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Listening to R4 yesterday I heard that Mr Cooke was giving up his regular Letter from America (which may well be missed by no one). Perhaps his health has taken a turn for the worse.

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Bollocks, that serves me right for not reading things properly.

 

Apologies.

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When he does go to that big radio station in the sky - if he is buried, is he 'under-Cooked'? Similarly, does cremation qualify as 'over-Cooked'? Either way, I think it is safe to say he will be 'un-Cooked'.

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We also have to make sure the Reaper doesn't try and recycle the Lew Grade quote either.

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How about Ali's Stair Way to Heaven

 

Or Al's Last Letter From America - "Hi, I'm Dead"

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Or maybe.. .Al's Last Letter "Hi, I've Stopped Breathing"

 

Or for those who appreciate his style and delivery...Al's Last Letter "Hi, I'm Dead, Good Evening."

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Or possibly more accurately...Al's Last Letter "Good Evening, I'm Dead."

 

Ok, I'll stop now.

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"Good Evening, I'm ... <gasp>..."

Loud clunk.

 

Has this gone on too far yet ?

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It can't have gone too far when the (letter) writing's on the wall for a black letter day.

 

love and kisses

 

little sister

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DeathList is clearly on fire with news of Alistair Cooke's demise...

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How about "Late of America"? Hmm not great. What have you got on this Mr R?

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An excellent analysis and delivery from the DeathList forum and, even more exciting, the DeathList.net team moves strongly up the leaderboard in the Derby Dead Pool. It was intended to enter our top twenty selections in the pool but a few tweaks to get some younger blood in the team meant we missed out on our real number 20, Queen Juliana. It seems we may now have to look to our joker, Ronnie Biggs, to really start setting the pace.

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Well Stats I've gone with Cookies and crumbling - not great either I agree

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What about "Death List cooking on gas"?

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Hmmm - I was toying with "Cooke Well Done" for a while

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I see that Derby Dead Pool still haven't credited us with Al yet? Surely that helps our score even more, even though we have 20 names there. What happens there do we only get our first 20 or something?

 

The deathline is a tough one and I'm not even impressed with this myself, but here goes: Good Night; Good Bye or Return to Sender? See, I told you they were crap.

 

It's a shame Lan Chiao's dreams could never be realised either, but then I guess poor Lan failed to see the relevance of the country reference and title as being fairly central to the actual programme's theme:

 

From: Lan Chiao ("Lan_Chiao"@heavens.say!)

Subject: alistair cook, could you do a letter from sea?

This is the only article in this thread

View: Original Format

Newsgroups: soc.culture.singapore, soc.culture.malaysia

Date: 2000-12-09 12:27:39 PST

 

 

Dear alistair cook,

Been and still is a great fan of yours and your letters from USA. No

doubt your intellect is still very much intact even in your advanced

age. If you ever consider coming over to sea to write similar letters,

i'm sure the following would not be any less than what you currently

enjoy. May you outlive many self-acclaimed wise men of the east and

continue with your letters of wisdom and wit.

 

post been c/o to bbc

 

===========>

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;) Mr Cook's departure was very profitable for one of my colleagues who won £603.00 in our dead pool.

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